Never leave a man behind... unless he's covered in someone else's urine

Ben's interest in trains has suddenly sky rocketed. It had been waning for a while, which made me regret his Christmas present - a huge train table that takes up half our living room. But all of a sudden last week he decided that the only thing he wants to do (besides eat mac & cheese and ride his tricycle to the park) is play trains. Fine with me. Most of the time he doesn't want me to participate so I can sometimes slip away and read or do dishes for a few minutes before he notices I'm gone. Then he comes looking for me saying, "Mommy, come play trains with me." But what that really means is, "Mommy, come sit on the couch and watch me play trains. No, you can't check Twitter on your phone or even put your feet up on the couch. Just sit and watch."

This means that various trains have been accompanying us around town. Well, last week we went to McDonald's and I had to change Ben's diaper before we ate. The changing table was in the handicapped stall and the previous occupant had decided against flushing the toilet. Why waste the energy, right? While I got ready, Ben wandered over to the toilet and before I could stop him, he threw Thomas in. I have no idea what would possess him to do that, but I grabbed Henry out of his other hand, before he fell victim to the same fate.

When we're at the playground with the trains I keep a close eye on them. Those suckers are expensive and we've already lost a couple. However, I could not bring myself to stick my hand into an un-flushed public toilet to rescue Thomas. Not happening.

On the bright side, Ben didn't even seem to care much that we left the train. We did have two other Thomases at home. It must've been fairly confusing for the next person in the bathroom, though.

A mind of his own

As I say frequently on this blog, it's amazingly fun watching who Ben becomes. Well, in the past couple months I feel like he's taken a leap forward in that journey. Until recently pretty much everything he's said is something he heard someone else say. He might add or subtract a few words, or put his own spin on it, but he was mostly parroting ideas from other people. But now... he's starting to get his own ideas. He's making connections that, as far as I know, he's never heard verbalized. After years of him not speaking and then barely speaking and then only parroting, to hear him spew forth his own opinions is weird. It's awesome and amazing, but it's hard to wrap my mind around at first. I guess we'll now be moving into that phase where he says all kinds of bizarre things. As Heath said, "He's getting delightfully weird."

Mr. Happy

Despite my previous post about his aggressive behavior, Ben is actually a very friendly person. He's much friendlier than I am. He takes after Heath in that way. If we arrive at the playground and there are no other people there, he doesn't want to play. However, when there are other kids he says, "There's my friends!" Even if we've never met them. To Ben, everyone is a friend. He says hello to everybody and can usually get a smile out of even the surliest teenage boy. And as far as older people go... Sheesh, they're putty in his hands.

As much as I don't relish the thought of being the only introvert in the house, I'm glad Ben is so outgoing. Ever since I was very young that's always what I've wanted to change about myself, because it makes life so much easier to be an extrovert. Ben is cheerful and charismatic and affectionate. He's forever doling out hugs at the end of playgroup (which is so freaking adorable) and sharing his snacks with his friends. I think he's going to be one of those annoying people who everyone likes.

In which news is shared

There will soon be one more Borders in the world (on or around November 20)!

Conversations with a Toddler - Part 7

Me: Do you want to go to [mall play area]?

Ben: And meet robots there?

Trying times

This moment in Ben's development is what people usually refer to as a "phase." I think they say that to give you hope that your life will one day be good again. The phase we're navigating right now is an aggressive phase. The hitting, kicking, throwing and pushing are ever present. Taking him around other kids is becoming a chore. Even playgroup friends he's known his entire life aren't immune. Some of it isn't malicious. His favorite game is Chase, so if he can't verbally convince someone to play with him he'll push them, trying to start them off running. Eventually that results in pushing them down, and sometimes, tears.

Other times it is malicious and it's so frustrating because there's not all that much I can do. I take him aside, tell him not to hit, make him apologize, give him a time-out... But so far it's not very effective. I guess I'm going to have to start leaving wherever we are, but that sucks because it's punishment for me, too.

I know this mainly stems from lack of impulse control and empathy. Everyone has times when they just want to smack someone else, but they've learned to control that urge and just passive aggressively write about it on Facebook. As one of his parents, it's my job to teach him that skill. But damn it's difficult and tedious. I've probably said, "We don't hit," 5,000 times in the last year and a half and I probably have 10,000 more ahead of me.

When he was first learning to walk I pretty much followed after him everywhere we went, to make sure he didn't crack his head open. It was so nice when he became steady enough that I didn't have to mirror his every move. I could chat with my friends or just sit down for once. Now I feel like I have to revive my shadow role so he quits hitting everyone. Where did my sweet boy go?

Pix or it didn't happen!

Ben had a blast in the sand

The first of hopefully many family portraits on Anna Maria

The water was cold, but he didn't seem to notice

Me as a mermaid

I thought this was a nice action shot

At the Mote Aquarium in Sarasota

Grandpa coaxing Ben into the water

So relaxing...

Florida!

For the past week Heath, Ben and I have been in Florida with Heath's parents. We went to Anna Maria Island, which is on the Gulf side, near Sarasota. Heath went there at least once a year from ages 2-15. I now know why they kept going back. It was wonderful. The weather was absolutely perfect. The island isn't very commercialized and no building is over 6 stories. The beach was white sand with calm waves and though I didn't think it was very crowded at all, they assured me it was about as crowded as it ever gets. We had an awesome time.

Ben loved the beach, as I knew he would. The water was a little cold, so we didn't do much more than play at the shore, but he had a blast with the sand. We never got very far with our sandcastles, because he would storm into them, wreaking havoc. He also loved getting to hang out with Daddy, Grandma and Grandpa for seven days straight. Plus, ice cream every night. So he was pretty much in toddler heaven. As an added bonus, he was great on the plane rides. On the way there he slept the whole time and on the way back he was pretty amused by his iPod and playing with the window shades.

So, it was a good vacation. We'll definitely be going back.

21st Century Kid

Heath has been talking about getting a new iPod for a while, so I took Valentine's Day as an opportunity to buy it for him (coincidentally I also wanted something - The Sims 3 - which is why I haven't been posting very much lately... my sims need me!). His old one still worked perfectly fine, so I'm somewhat conflicted, but... Ben now has his own iPod.

It's not like we went out and bought Ben his own brand new iPod, but it still somehow seems wrong for a two and a half year old to have a personal computing device. I know I'll be running up against this problem for Ben's entire childhood. We'll have to make that decision on when he gets his own cell phone, which again seems ridiculous to me since I didn't have one until I was in college and even then I barely used it. I suppose I'm sounding like a parent. You kids today have it so great... In my day we didn't have cell phones and iPods. If we wanted to call someone we had to find a pay phone. What's a pay phone? Oh, go play Angry Birds some more.

And get off my lawn!

A rose by any other name

Lately I've been working on all our names with Ben. He has his own down, so if I ask him what his name is he says, "Ben Borders." He says my first name if I ask, though he doesn't always remember my last name. He can't remember Heath's name, though. So when I asked him this morning what Daddy's name was, Ben replied, "Ben Borders' Daddy."