Words!

Since Sam turned two, almost two months ago, his speaking has exploded. What's interesting to me is that even though he started speaking much later than Ben (who started at 14 months), he's picked up words and sentences at a much faster rate. With Ben it was a new word every week or every few days. With Sam we started out at "blue ball" and now we're getting phrases and short sentences out of him. Keeping track of how many words he's saying isn't even an option, as with Ben, because everyday he's saying so many new things. It's not like we're having intellectually stimulating conversations yet, but after waiting two years for him to speak, having him tell me he wants, "More milk" is awesome.

However, we are venturing into the terrible twos with him. It's one of those things that honestly made me pause for a second while considering having a second child. Do I really want to do that AGAIN? Well, it's here and we're doing it. Monday afternoon Sam woke up from his nap in a HORRIBLE mood. Everything made him mad. We were out of milk, so he had to drink water. Tantrum. I put that water in a straw cup instead of a sippy cup. Tantrum. I showed him the sippy cup I was going to use, and he agreed, but then I poured the water from the straw cup into the sippy cup. Tantrum. Unfortunately, we really needed to go to the grocery store, because we weren't just out of milk. I was hoping the car ride would calm Sam down. It did, but when I suggested he ride in the car cart, instead of pushing one of the small carts they have for children (curse you, Schnucks!), he flipped the fuck out. Total melt down. I could not calm him down, so we had to leave. We did not get his precious milk or anything else. Then when we got home he went right to the fridge asking for milk. Tantrum.

It was frustrating, to say the least. For some reason this week a switch was flipped in his brain and suddenly he wants to do everything himself, which is good and a very toddler thing. But of course it leads to even more frustration on both our parts when he just CAN'T do something, either because of lack of skill, or danger. It's just one of those things we have to get through and he'll emerge from it a more competent human, but I'll probably have a couple more grey hairs.

Quotable Ben

When asked how school was, Ben replied,


"Thomas and I were on the playground talking about how everyone's stupid except the boys."

Communication 101

One of the hard things about caring for a baby is not being able to communicate in any significant way. The only way for him to get his point across is crying, which is super annoying for the parents. Now that Sam's a full-fledged toddler we're making some strides in that department. He's to the point where he understands a lot of what we say. So if I say "milk" he looks at the refrigerator and if I say, "Do you want to turn the light on?" (one of his favorite activities at the moment) he looks at the light switch. Sometimes if I ask him to do something ("Come here," "Hand me the fork," "STOP!") he'll even do it. It's awesome!

He's not talking yet, though he's starting to parrot some of the sounds I make. The first I noticed was "All done!" He says something that sounds remarkably like it (to me), but there's no meaning behind it yet. He says it all the time, even when he's obviously not "all done." But even without real words, he's definitely communicating. He'll grunt and point at the bananas when he wants one (which is all the time), he'll try to lunge from my arms when he wants to get down, he'll stand by my legs and lift his arms when he wants to get up. Again, it's awesome.

We're also to that less-awesome toddler stage of EVERYTHING NEEDS TO BE ON THE FLOOR NOW! Drawers and shelves aren't safe. Not that we have much of anything on shelves anymore. The lone surviving bookshelf in the house is in our bedroom and I have to monitor it very closely when Sam's in the room. I said, "Those are Mommy's books. Mommy's books stay on the shelf." about 1,000 times this morning while I was getting dressed. And since I still can't trust Sam in the house by himself while I shower he pulls every last towel off the shelf in the bathroom EVERY SINGLE DAY.

The good thing with second kids is that you have concrete evidence that it's just a phase. Ben doesn't pull my nicely folded towels off the shelf anymore. He can even put books BACK onto shelves now (though ability has no connection to willingness). It's still not fun to put towels away after every shower, but I can breathe and know that eventually it will end.

Totally negligent mommy

Sam turned 9 months old last week and I totally forgot to post about it. This is why second and middle children are always so f-ed up (I'm picturing Ian frowning). Sam's new stats:

Weight: 22 lbs. 5 oz. - 90th percentile
Height: 29 1/4" - 85th percentile
Head circumference: 46 cm - 75th percentile

Everywhere we go people always comment on how big Sam is... But he's a full pound lighter than Ben was at SIX MONTHS, so he doesn't seem big to me. My back, knees and shoulders beg to differ, but my biceps are awesome.

I've been saying Sam is thisclose to crawling for over a month. I really thought he'd be full-out crawling by now. He does this thing where he's on one knee and his other leg is straight out to the side and he sort of pulls himself for a short distance. It's somewhat crawling in that he's moving himself a little bit, but he's not going any significant distance. Mostly he just ninjas out to get whatever he wants and then goes back to sitting. If he can't reach it that way, it's dead to him.

His "talking" seems to be getting more sophisticated. I can't exactly explain what I mean, except to say that it sounds more like he's really "saying" something. Like what's coming out of his mouth has meaning for him. His curiosity has also exploded. Anything we put in front of him will be subjected to a full examination which includes turning it over, banging it on the table and putting it in his mouth. We're at that stage where, in a restaurant the three feet of table around the baby is empty, except for Cheerio's.

Sam remains a content, cheerful little boy. Even with the 5:30-6:00am wake ups every morning we really can't complain.

Hearing check on aisle two!

Scene: I'm encouraging Ben to get dressed and he's naked, messing around with random stuff.

Me: We can't go to the zoo if you're naked.

Ben: Why?

Me: It's illegal.

Ben: A silly eagle?

Me: ILLEGAL.

Ben: An ill eagle?

Me: Il-leagl.

Ben: Ha! I thought you said "eagle."

Soooooooo Heath's son

I've been feeling very trapped in the house lately. Ben and I are both a little frustrated, being subject to Sam's napping whims. So Thursday when Sam woke up from his afternoon nap waaay earlier than I'd expected, I decided to take the boys to Shoe Carnival. Normally, taking the two of them shopping in any capacity is something I hate and dread, so you can see how anxious I was to get out of the house.

I needed a new pair of work out shoes, so that was my main objective, but of course they were having a "Buy one, get one half off sale" (when are they NOT?), so we spent a little more time in the store than I'd planned. However, despite that, both the boys were very good. Normally Ben likes to run up and down aisles, mess with merchandise and make incoherent noises VERY LOUDLY. But this time he pretty much stayed with me and entertained Sam (double win!).

Since it isn't exactly something I get to say on a daily basis, I praised Ben pretty heavily as we left the store. "You were very good in the store. You didn't run around or yell or mess with things. I really appreciate it."

Without missing a beat Ben says to me, "Can I have a Popsicle when we get home?"

He's discovered the question, "Why?"

Scene: Ben is getting dressed.

Ben: I'm wearing pants today.

Me: No, you need to wear shorts.

Ben: Why?

Me: Because it's hot out.

Ben: Why?

Me: Why what?

Ben: Why is it hot out?

Me: Because it's summer.

Ben: Why?

Me: Why is it summer?

Ben nods. I sigh.

Me: Because at this time of year our side of the planet is tilted toward the sun and the sun is very hot so it makes our area hot.

Ben: Ok.

Ben puts on shorts.

I do not think it means what you think it means

Scene: For some reason Ben thinks the Nike swoosh symbol means "power." He went to put on his dark coat.

Ben: This is my black power coat.

Such a sucker

Ben: Can I watch Backyardigans?

Heath: No.

Ben: But if you don't let me watch I'll be sad. If you do let me watch I'll be happy.

Me: Ben, that's emotional blackmail.

Heath: Ben, you made a reasoned argument without whining. You can watch Backyardigans.

Oops

Scene: Ben is trying to build a train track out into the air without supports. Unsurprisingly, it didn't work.

Ben: My track fell apart! That was crappy.

Me: What?!

Oh, the irony

Considering how creative and prolific a cusser Heath is, I'm surprised this hasn't happened sooner... But this morning as I was cutting up an apple for a snack, Ben, out of nowhere started saying, "Oh, damn it. Oh, damn it. Oh, damn it."

The stupid thing is, I think he might have actually gotten that one from me. I know I've said it at least once in his presence in the recent past. How is it that Heath spouts off stuff like, "Fuckers from Hell" and yet somehow Ben's first cuss words come from me?!

Such a polite boy

I honestly think that manners are one of the hallmarks of good parenting. If a kid says "please" and "thank you" and shares pretty well, you can probably assume that the parents are getting other things right, too. Which is why it pleases me so much that after millions of repetitions, Ben's manners are starting to kick in. He still has a problem remembering to say "please" when asking for something. Usually it's more like, "I want some juice," or the more desperate, "I need some juice." Obviously juice is crucial to the continuation of his life. "My juice levels are critically low, Mommy. I don't have time for social niceties!" However, when I tell him to ask politely he always quickly supplies the "please."

He is rockin' the "thank you," though. He thanks me when I get him food, when I help him get dressed, when I agree to take him to the playground. This morning he even thanked me after I cut his fingernails. "Thank you for cutting my fingernails, Mommy." Oh my god, how cute is that?!

He's even started saying, "no, thank you," when I offer him something he doesn't want. He has no idea yet, but the sting of him not eating broccoli is definitely lessened when he refuses it politely. It gives me a little jolt of "I'm a good mom!" even if all he's eaten that day is bagels, mac & cheese and Popsicles.

A mind of his own

As I say frequently on this blog, it's amazingly fun watching who Ben becomes. Well, in the past couple months I feel like he's taken a leap forward in that journey. Until recently pretty much everything he's said is something he heard someone else say. He might add or subtract a few words, or put his own spin on it, but he was mostly parroting ideas from other people. But now... he's starting to get his own ideas. He's making connections that, as far as I know, he's never heard verbalized. After years of him not speaking and then barely speaking and then only parroting, to hear him spew forth his own opinions is weird. It's awesome and amazing, but it's hard to wrap my mind around at first. I guess we'll now be moving into that phase where he says all kinds of bizarre things. As Heath said, "He's getting delightfully weird."

A rose by any other name

Lately I've been working on all our names with Ben. He has his own down, so if I ask him what his name is he says, "Ben Borders." He says my first name if I ask, though he doesn't always remember my last name. He can't remember Heath's name, though. So when I asked him this morning what Daddy's name was, Ben replied, "Ben Borders' Daddy."

Don't worry, we didn't!

Last Wednesday our friends Anne and Michael welcomed their son Felix into the world. On Saturday we brought them lunch in exchange for getting to hold their baby. Ben has calmed down a lot when I hold babies. He doesn't seem to mind too much, but he's still not crazy about Heath holding other kids. So when Heath was holding Felix Ben kept saying, "Give Felix to Mommy." Well, that wasn't working so eventually he tried a different tactic and said, "Put Felix in the microwave."

The pronoun game

Ben's speech is becoming more sophisticated all the time. He's speaking in sentences now and even gets a lot of diction and grammar correct. However, we're stuck in Pronoun Limbo. He says the following things a lot:

"Pick you up" (pick me up)
"Take your shoes off" (take my shoes off)
etc.

It makes sense, since I say those things to him but don't often say them about myself. When a kid is first learning to talk, books encourage you to refer to yourself in the third person, so he knows who you are. Well, Ben has "Mommy" and "Daddy" down pat, so now I'm having to get back into the habit of saying "me," "I," and "my" instead of "Mommy's."

These things come so naturally to us as adults, it's easy to forget that we've had decades of practice. This seems ridiculously obvious to type, but language is incredibly complicated and it's interesting to watch someone learn it from scratch.

Planning

Potential careers for Ben:

Professional Door Closer - Suddenly it's imperative that every door in our house be closed all the time, by Ben, AND BEN ONLY. Choruses of, "Ben can do it!" ring through the halls if I ever try to touch a door knob.

Motivational Life Coach - When I get up with Ben in the morning we usually let Heath sleep until about 7:30. By that time Ben's eaten breakfast and I can distract him from whining about watching Dinosaur Train by saying, "Let's go wake up Daddy!" He rushes up the stairs and climbs into bed with Heath. But only for a second, because after a quick hug Ben says, "Daddy get up and take a shower!" and he won't stop until Heath is in the bathroom. Then after the shower it's, "Daddy get dressed. Go to work."

Personal Trainer - The layout of our main floor is perfect for toddlers, because you can run a lap through all four rooms. And that's one of Ben's favorite games. He always makes us go in front of him and if we stop he says, "Run, run!" The kid is relentless.

Oh *&%#!

Considering the frequency with which Heath spouts obscenities, it's a wonder Ben hasn't picked up on any yet. Until Monday night.

Our ceilings are about nine feet tall and so it's a little tricky to change the bulbs in the light fixtures. Heath was doing just that and almost dropped part of it, saying in the process, "Oh, crap!" Certainly about the tamest cuss word there is, but still not something I want Ben saying out in public. But, the next thing we know out come the words from his mouth: "Oh, crap! Oh, crap! Oh, crap!" And this morning as I was putting on his shoes, "Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap!"

I didn't react to it either time, so perhaps it won't surface too often. I actually don't have a problem with him saying cuss words, once he can understand the appropriate (and inappropriate) times to say them. But at 2 he definitely lacks that understanding.

At least he's self-aware

Yesterday morning Ben took a massive poop and it was super smelly. One of the worst in recent memory. So when I said, "Ok, let's go change your diaper," Ben replied, "Ben stinky!"

Grab bag

We've been fighting colds for about a week and a half now in the Borders household. I think Ben has it worst of all. Heath and I don't feel too well upon waking, but we're making it through the days okay. Ben, however, has been a snot faucet and coughing at night wakes him up. The good news is that he's finally getting the idea about blowing his nose! No more battles over the aspirator. Snot bubbles are copious, but maybe we won't end up in Ear Infection Land quite so often. One can dream.

The other interesting thing that's been happening relates to an earlier post about manipulation. Though Ben's speech is becoming increasingly more understandable and complex, there are still those moments when we just don't get it. So it's become a habit that even when we do understand what he's saying, we repeat it, to make sure we really did understand. Ben uses this to his advantage. So if he says, "Have snack?" and I say, "You want to have a snack?" he says, "Ok," and his inflection is such that it seems like it was my idea all along and he's just agreeing to it. "Oh a snack, Mother? I hadn't even thought of that, but now that you bring it up - Ok." It's both hilarious and worrying.

Another cool thing is that he's starting to memorize songs and sing them. That just started a few weeks ago. We sing the "Three Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed" song and he chimes in at the end with, "No more monkeys jumping on the bed!" He and Heath sing songs from Dinosaur Train. And yesterday morning I could tell he was singing a song, but I couldn't tell what it was. Finally that afternoon I realized it was "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star," which I've been singing to him before naps and bed since he was born. Every day he's more and more like a kid and it's so fun to watch.