Sunday, January 31, 2010

Happy Anniversary!

This post is a very good example of motherhood. I knew the one year anniversary of this blog was coming up and I checked and re-checked the date several times, so I could post something on the actual day. However, I checked and re-checked during a week when I was getting maybe 6 hours of fitful sleep a night, due to a certain toddler who REFUSES TO SLEEP. So it was lodged in my brain that Jan 31 was the date. I even pre-wrote a post, so I wouldn't have to try to think of something decent after what I knew would be a hard weekend. However, I just looked this morning and it was actually yesterday. Even with the best intentions and preparations, motherhood still sometimes leaves you a day late for everything. So, here's what I wrote:

Today markes the one year anniversary of this blog. When I started it Ben was almost five months old. A part of me wishes I'd started it earlier, so I could've captured the emotions of those first few days and months, but I know it mostly would've consisted of posts like, "I'm SOOOOOO tired. I didn't think it was physically possible to be this tired and still be alive. WHY WON'T HE SLEEP?" Although, that statement is still very relevant today. *sigh*

Honestly, I don't have anything momentous to say at this point, I just felt I should mark the occasion. I've made 165 posts in the last year. Thanks for reading them!

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Literary observations - Part 2

We have a book called  A is Adorable, based on a song of the same name. It goes through the alphabet listing positive attributes of the reader, "A, you're adorable. B, you're so beautiful." etc. etc. For J it says, "J - we're like Jack and Jill" with an accompanying picture of two children dropping a basket of apples and falling merrily down a hill. My question is, why is it good to be like Jack and Jill?! They fell down a hill and Jack broke his crown, a.k.a. his head. HE BROKE HIS HEAD! The rhyme stops in a convenient place, because had it gone on the writer would've had to find words to rhyme with "ambulance," and "severe head trauma."

Monday, January 25, 2010


Ben's vocabulary has been exploding lately. Here's a list of words he knows:

Boo (which means "moo")
Baa (as in what a sheep says)
Owl (This is his most bizarre word... We have a framed Rush album which prominently features an owl and one day Ben pointed to it and said "Owl." There are owls in some of his books, but we never emphasized them, so the fact that he picked it up is rather astounding.)
Cottage cheese
Bath (which sounds more like "baa")

Now, if you were to come to our house you wouldn't necessarily recognize all these words. "Cheese," "no," "bye-bye" and "go" are very clear and though "owl" is a little mangled it's still obvious. The rest you might not get unless we told you. I know everyone always says you'll regret when your kid starts talking, but it'll be so nice when he can TELL ME what he wants. At least then I'll know what the tantrum's about.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Literary observations - Part 1

The man in the yellow hat is the most irresponsible pet owner ever. First he removes a monkey from the jungle (which we learned because Ben got the first Curious George book for Christmas*). Then he takes the monkey everywhere, which is weird all by itself.

"Hey, can my monkey and I come on your class field trip to the fire station?"
The correct answer: "Uh, noooooo, weirdo."

Then despite numerous incidents in which the monkey goes missing, he never supervises the monkey at all. Yet he never receives any consequences for his incompetence because the monkey always manages to save a baby penguin from drowning or cheer up a hospital ward full of children on Christmas. It's ridiculous.

*Which, by the way, is a pretty f-ed up book. As I said, the man takes George from the jungle and brings him home where he lets George smoke a pipe. Then the next day after the man calls the zoo George decides to play with the phone and accidentally calls the fire department. They come and get really pissed when there's no fire, so they throw George in jail. Eventually George escapes and right outside the prison wall is a man selling balloons to children. Of course, what more logical place to lure children than mere yards from convicted felons. So George grabs the balloons and floats over an intersection where the man with the yellow hat just happens to be driving. George ends up in the zoo, where he'll probably commit suicide because this weird guy stole him away from his home and his family.

Friday, January 15, 2010

Ben the boozehound

We've noticed a pattern in Ben's behavior. He looooooves alcohol. What, doesn't everyone do Jager bombs with their kid?

Okay, of course we don't give Ben alcohol, but he is strangely attracted to it. If we're at a party he always goes for the cooler of beer, not the cooler of soda. When we went to the zoo to look at the Christmas lights, as soon as we let him out of his stroller he made a beeline for the Bud Light cart. And there have now been two instances of Ben grabbing an open bottle of wine off the bottom shelf of the fridge, pulling out the stopper and spilling wine everywhere. One time it wasn't so bad, but the second time he spilled half the bottle. His socks and pants got soaked because he proceeded to stomp around and play in it. Who doesn't want their kid to smell like Riesling?

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Child labor laws aren't applicable when it's your own child, right?

Ben helps around the house by doing the following (seriously):
  • Putting dirty utensils into the basket in the dishwasher (his 1 Tru Luv 4eva)
  • Handing me clean utensils (and sometimes plates and bowls) from the dishwasher to put away
  • Helping me pull laundry out of the dryer
  • Handing me clean clothes to fold
  • Helping us clean up his toys before bed time
Who knew a 16 month old could help so much? Okay, most of the time he actually slows down the process, but he does keep me from having to bend down. Plus, then I can use precious nap time to do more important things like update my blog and watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

2010 grab bag

So far 2010 has been a good year in our house. Several Wonderful Things are happening.

Wonderful Thing #1 is that Ben is going to have a cousin! Ian and Bekah are having a baby! They found out on Jan. 1 that Bekah's pregnant. The funny thing is that two years ago we found out on Jan. 2 that I was pregnant. So Ben and his cousin will have close birthdays and possibly even the same birthday. I'm so excited! Our family is expanding and I'll get to hold a newborn again without having to go through all the pregnancy and labor crap. Uh, I mean, all the pregnancy and labor awesomeness. It wasn't the most painful experience of my life. Not at all. It was... great.

Wonderful Thing #2 is that Ben's starting to sleep better. Several times this week he's almost slept through the night, with only a couple quick wake ups. Heath and I have actually gotten to sleep in our bed together the entire night for two or three days now. It's a novel concept. I hope this means his ear infections are dissipating or gone. He's been on medication for almost three weeks now. This also coincides with our official switch to one nap a day. I've been fighting it for a while and since he's been sick it was derailed a bit, but Ben's a one nap kid now. He's been sleeping  for two hours around lunch time like clockwork. I'll admit it's nice to have a reliable two hour break and it does allow us to be out and about longer during the afternoon, but it's hard to go down to only one break a day. Especially since I'd rather have it late in the afternoon. Around 4:00pm I'm just done, but I guess I'll get used to it. I suppose the only thing harder than this will be when he gives up napping altogether. Hopefully by then he'll be in preschool. Of course, by then we'll probably have another kid and I'll have to do this whole horrible thing over again. Uh, I mean, this WONDERFUL thing. It's the best time of your life. Really... Sleep deprivation isn't like torture at all. It's fun to hallucinate in the middle of the day. It's like a free movie.

[Ed. Note: Since writing this a few days ago Ben has gone back to sleeping like crap at night. *sigh*]

Friday, January 8, 2010

Today I was That Mother.

The air pressure in my tires was low and I had to get my oil changed anyway, so this morning Ben and I went to Jiffy Lube. Well, I was planning to go to the gym afterward, so I hadn't showered and I was wearing work out clothes which, since it's Friday, smell like a locker room. Then, after The Cat in the Hat Comes Back got boring Ben decided to explore the waiting room. So I was chasing him around this small room, trying to keep him from going behind the counter and touching the electrical outlet and opening the doors and messing with the coffee maker. All the while he's knocking into people and then he threw a fit when I wouldn't let him push around the "Wet Floor" sign. I had to stick it in the bathroom. Plus, I kept dropping my phone and Ben's books and the nice man sitting across from us kept picking them up. It was like I was in a goofy British comedy that makes Americans go, "Um... why is that funny?" It was ridiculous. And then when we finally got to the gym I looked in the mirror and noticed I had missed getting a huge chunk of hair up into my ponytail. All I needed to complete the picture was a shopping cart full of crap.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

I'll be talking about this in 30 years when Ben's a super scientist or a serial killer

Ben has a new habit which, basically, is playing with his dirty laundry. Specifically his pajamas. He digs them out of the hamper and then examines them. Seriously, he'll just examine the hems and the zippers, not even really paying attention to the designs (though he seems somewhat partial to his dinosaur pajamas). Sometimes he'll just carry them around, or try to place them somewhere. "Place" is in italics because it's a very precise practice. I've seen him make infinitesimal adjustments to the placement of the pajamas. A little nudge here, move it to the left a smidge. Perfect. We've created a neurotic.

Friday, January 1, 2010

Let's start the new year off right... with cute!

Only 15 more years...

Walkin' on the new highway 40

Ready to brave the elements

Opening Christmas presents

Being weird on New Year's Day