Literary observations - Part 4

We have an abridged version of The Velveteen Rabbit and I don't remember ever reading the original version, so perhaps this is addressed in that. I doubt it.

In our version the rabbit gets thrown away because the boy gets sick and the rabbit is so sad he cries. Then a fairy turns him into a real rabbit. Well, every time we read that I can't help thinking that the velveteen rabbit then hops off into the woods and promptly gets torn apart by a wolf, because it has absolutely no real-world survival skills.

I guess I'm not sentimental enough.

Literary observations - Part 3

Ben has a book called Funny Mother Goose which features illustrated nursery rhymes. The last page is one that goes:

Diddle diddle dumpling, my son John
went to bed with his stockings on.
One shoe off and one shoe on.
Diddle diddle dumpling, my son John.

What this rhyme fails to tell us is that - at least according to the illustration - John went to bed in such a state because he was completely wasted. In the picture he also has his pants on, but no shirt, and he's sprawled on the bed with his arms hanging over the sides and his tongue lolling out. And though there are no spilled rum bottles lying about, it's pretty obvious what was happening.

Literary observations - Part 2

We have a book called  A is Adorable, based on a song of the same name. It goes through the alphabet listing positive attributes of the reader, "A, you're adorable. B, you're so beautiful." etc. etc. For J it says, "J - we're like Jack and Jill" with an accompanying picture of two children dropping a basket of apples and falling merrily down a hill. My question is, why is it good to be like Jack and Jill?! They fell down a hill and Jack broke his crown, a.k.a. his head. HE BROKE HIS HEAD! The rhyme stops in a convenient place, because had it gone on the writer would've had to find words to rhyme with "ambulance," and "severe head trauma."

Literary observations - Part 1

The man in the yellow hat is the most irresponsible pet owner ever. First he removes a monkey from the jungle (which we learned because Ben got the first Curious George book for Christmas*). Then he takes the monkey everywhere, which is weird all by itself.


"Hey, can my monkey and I come on your class field trip to the fire station?"
The correct answer: "Uh, noooooo, weirdo."


Then despite numerous incidents in which the monkey goes missing, he never supervises the monkey at all. Yet he never receives any consequences for his incompetence because the monkey always manages to save a baby penguin from drowning or cheer up a hospital ward full of children on Christmas. It's ridiculous.



*Which, by the way, is a pretty f-ed up book. As I said, the man takes George from the jungle and brings him home where he lets George smoke a pipe. Then the next day after the man calls the zoo George decides to play with the phone and accidentally calls the fire department. They come and get really pissed when there's no fire, so they throw George in jail. Eventually George escapes and right outside the prison wall is a man selling balloons to children. Of course, what more logical place to lure children than mere yards from convicted felons. So George grabs the balloons and floats over an intersection where the man with the yellow hat just happens to be driving. George ends up in the zoo, where he'll probably commit suicide because this weird guy stole him away from his home and his family.