Scorecard

It's been a hard winter in the Borders household, sickness-wise. It seems like every week or two we're getting hit with something new. Here's how it stands since October:

Ear Infections - 3: Ben (2), Sam (1)
Hand-foot-mouth virus - 3: Ben, Sam, Heath
Pink eye - 1: Ben
Various colds - 4+: Everyone, especially Heath, who had a cold for what seemed like a month.
Stomach flu - 3: Me, Sam, Ben

Heath also switched jobs in the midst of all that, so that brought stress of its own. We're all healthy right now, but the boys and I are headed down to Phoenix next Thursday to visit my parents, brother and sister-in-law, so I'm sure some new, horrible ailment will turn up before then.

Luckily, so far Heath and I have managed not to be sick at the same time. However, that does mean that we're both pretty exhausted. In March we're going to Florida with Heath's family and that should be lovely. A week of lazy days laying on the beach with lots of people around to watch my kids. Perfect.

There and Back Again

We took our first big road trip as a family of four this weekend. Unfortunately it was for my grandfather's funeral. He was 88 years old and had a good life filled with children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren. The thing I'll remember most about him is his joy. I'm sure he had his worries and bad days just like everyone else, but I can only remember him smiling. In fact, as I was listening to the pastor speak during the service I could hear my grandfather's laughter. I'm very sad I'll never get to see him again, but I have fond memories.

At first Heath and I discussed me flying up to Wisconsin alone, but a funeral isn't something you want to attend without your family. In fact, though it was a sad occasion, overall it was a good trip because we got to visit relatives we don't see very often. My grandma got to see Ben again and meet Avery and Sam for the first time. Plus, my dad was surrounded by his children and grandchildren at his father's funeral and we supported him with our presence.

The boys were very good on the trip. It took over 10 hours of driving each way, but we didn't have too much fussiness (thanks - in Ben's case - to the three viewings of Toy Story on the drive up). They both slept in the car at least part of the time and we managed to stop enough to avoid the "I have to use the potty" moment, which would give us 2-3 minutes to find a suitable place. I'm glad our three year old didn't have to pee on the side of the highway. Or, worse yet, in a bottle in the car.

Honestly, I'm glad we took this trip. It was very tiring for Heath and me (physically and emotionally), but we managed to throw together a 10+ hour road trip with two young children in one day and everything turned out fine. To a worrier and a planner like me, that seems almost impossible, but it was a good lesson.

I'll miss you, Papa.

Playing favorites

Fairly recently my mother reminded me about one of my biggest complaints in childhood. I had actually forgotten about it, but as a kid it always really bothered me that I didn't have a "partner" in our family. My parents had each other. My brothers had each other. I felt left out.

Remembering that feeling made me realize that I was feeling the same thing watching Ben favor Heath all these years. I've felt left out of my own family. And having to take care of a newborn 24-7 hasn't been winning me popularity points with Ben. When we first brought Sam home Ben reverted back to his worst bout of favoritism. He wanted absolutely nothing to do with me, to the point of crying even when Heath just went to the bathroom. As he's getting more used to our "new normal" it's gone back to an almost tolerable level of favoritism, but it still stings. Especially since I can't spend one-on-one time with him while Heath's at work anymore.

It makes total sense that Ben would favor Heath. Heath has more energy, he's loud and fun and he sings silly songs all the time. Ben and Heath also have a lot of similar interests and a similar mindset. I'm reserved and prefer reading or coloring or playing quiet games to running around like a crazy person (which is often what Ben and Heath do). I think (and hope) that I'll be the one Ben turns to when he needs quiet in his life, but I really can't imagine a time when I'll be his favorite.

And that's where it gets tough for Sam, because I'm really hoping he's "mine." I know it's a possibility that he'll gravitate toward Heath... But I'm openly and un-apologetically stating that I want him to be an introvert and prefer me. It's completely unfair to put those hopes on him, but I'm already the odd one out because I'm female. I don't want to be the only introvert and the un-favored parent in the family, too.


Sam's only seven weeks old and he doesn't even recognize us on sight yet, so I still have a few months before he could even feasibly pick a favorite. And who knows, he might not pick one. Not all kids do and some go back and forth during different phases of their life. But if he picks Heath it's going to be very tough for me.

Florida!

For the past week Heath, Ben and I have been in Florida with Heath's parents. We went to Anna Maria Island, which is on the Gulf side, near Sarasota. Heath went there at least once a year from ages 2-15. I now know why they kept going back. It was wonderful. The weather was absolutely perfect. The island isn't very commercialized and no building is over 6 stories. The beach was white sand with calm waves and though I didn't think it was very crowded at all, they assured me it was about as crowded as it ever gets. We had an awesome time.

Ben loved the beach, as I knew he would. The water was a little cold, so we didn't do much more than play at the shore, but he had a blast with the sand. We never got very far with our sandcastles, because he would storm into them, wreaking havoc. He also loved getting to hang out with Daddy, Grandma and Grandpa for seven days straight. Plus, ice cream every night. So he was pretty much in toddler heaven. As an added bonus, he was great on the plane rides. On the way there he slept the whole time and on the way back he was pretty amused by his iPod and playing with the window shades.

So, it was a good vacation. We'll definitely be going back.

We are family

We've never been all that close to our extended family. We see our grandparents and a few aunts and uncles, but for the most part I don't know any of my cousins. Which is why it's so exciting to me that Ben and Avery (and any future cousins) get to grow up together. It's an opportunity my brothers and I didn't have and it's going to be fascinating for me to watch how it unfolds.

So last Wednesday Ben and I visited Bekah and Avery.We went to the playground near their house. After some swinging and sliding Ben had a snack of Goldfish. Avery was just chilling in her stroller, but as Ben was eating he leaned in and tried to share a Goldfish with her. Of course we had to explain that she can't eat Goldfish yet, but it was the cutest thing ever...

UNTIL Avery was having a little down time on her activity mat. Ben noticed, said, "Sleepy," and then crawled under there with her and laid down.

Yeah, this is going to be fun.

I will always have gum

I pulled my first all-nighter in a looooong time last night. But, it resulted in this:

Avery Geneva was born 8/23/10 at 3:48am. She was 7 lbs 13 oz and 21.5 in. Bekah had roughly eight hours of labor and did awesome. I was so glad to be there to support her the way she's supported me. Ian was a total champ. He was a wonderful partner and didn't show any nerves the whole time.

Both Bekah and Avery are doing wonderfully. She looks like Bekah's grandfather! Genetics are crazy things. I'm so excited to be an aunt! She's an adorable little girl and it's going to be great watching her and Ben grow up together.

Vacation!

Two weeks ago we went to the Lake of the Ozarks and stayed at a resort with my parents, brothers and sisters-in-law. Although the trip had its ups and downs, it was fun to all be together as a family. There was swimming, there was 500, there was a boat trip that turned people against each other and had Heath cackling like a deranged pirate.

The first night Ben woke up at midnight and wouldn't go back to sleep until 5am. That pretty much made the entire trip exhausting for me, but I suppose I should get used to that. I don't see a relaxing vacation in my future for a long, long time. At least I'll have my memories of Hawaii...

Here's photographic proof that we went:

Using iPods as a family

A nice relaxing boat ride...

Hmm... Those are some menacing clouds in the distance...

Lesson learned: Don't f*** with Mother Nature 

(especially when nobody really knows how to drive a boat).

I knew I was blogging this the second it happened!

Last night we were at Ian and Bekah's celebrating the end of Ian's 27th year of life. Bekah's starting to show her pregnancy, so I thought it would be cute if we could get Ben to point at her stomach and say, "Baby." We were all sitting around the table and Ben wandered between Bekah's and my chair, so I pointed at her stomach and said, "Ben, look! Baby!" And instead of imitating me and pointing to Bekah's stomach he went around the table, pointed at Ian's stomach and said, "Baby!"

Whether he was commenting on Ian's physique or maturity level we'll never know.

Wonderful Weekend

 

What a great weekend! We thought it was going to rain on Saturday, but it turned out to be beautiful so Ben and I went to watch hurling. Unfortunately Ben napped through Heath's game, but his team won so that was awesome! Here's hoping he's on a winning team this year (or at least not last place!). We spent the afternoon playing outside and after dinner we walked to the local ice cream shop. I love that we can walk places!

On Sunday we had no specific plans. Heath's parents' church is near our house, so they visit most Sunday afternoons. Nancy brought us an Easter basket and some delicious cupcakes and we had an Easter egg hunt for Ben in the backyard. It was fun, though Ben got distracted by each egg he found and was then reluctant to keep searching. He had an egg to fully explore, why would he want to find more?

We decided to have an impromptu barbecue so I headed to the grocery store for supplies. When I found that it was closed I had to think fast. What would be open? Whole Foods, the atheists' market! :) And they would definitely have Boca Burgers for Nancy, Don and Todd. So we had our barbecue and It Was Good.

Uncle Todd juggling eggs

Found it!

Licking violets 

(because he's a toddler, that's why)

Grandma's cute bunny cupcakes

Deliciously messy

I want a hippopatomus for Christmas

I love holidays in our family. Everyone gets along and there's relatively little drama. Thus, we spent Christmas eating, drinking, opening presents, watching A Christmas Story as many times as possible, playing games and enjoying being together. While it makes for a wonderful weekend, it doesn't necessarily make for an exciting blog post. Here are a few tid bits, anyway.

We spent Christmas day with Heath's family. Ben was more into ripping open presents than even three months ago on his birthday. That was fun to watch. Obviously he doesn't "get" the idea of Christmas yet, but he loved playing with all his new toys. I thought we could get him to play elf and hand everyone their presents, but that wasn't happening. Maybe next year. He also really warmed up to his Uncle Chad. Chad lives in Colorado, so Ben's only seen him a few times. However, Chad really made it his mission to get on Ben's good list, dishing out as much tickling, rough-housing and as many silly faces as Ben could handle. By the end of the day they were buddies. My brothers and I don't have much extended family we're close to, so I don't know what it's like to grow up with uncles, aunts and cousins around. It really means a lot to me that Chad took the time to get to know Ben while he had the chance. I'm excited for Ben to grow up in a close-knit family.

On December 26, my parents, brother and sister-in-law came to our house for Christmas. It was our first time hosting a major holiday. Nothing was burned and nobody suffered food poisoning so I considered it a success. I also got to pull a classic childhood prank on Ian. For various reasons, this year we decided not to exchange presents with my side of the family. Ian was sort of the impetus for that, so we got a big box and wrapped up some raisins for him. At least this time I didn't trick him into buying me a real present. And the raisins were chocolate covered.

So our Christmas was everything a great Christmas should be: delicious, warm and filled with laughter. I always forget to take pictures while we're in the middle of things, but Heath got me a sweet new digital camera, so hopefully that will change.

Happy New Year, everyone!

Photographic evidence

With Great-Grandma

His first taste of ice cream

Having fun with Great-Aunt Becky

Laughing at silly Uncle Ian (at the Mall of America)

A four generation picture

*Pictures courtesy of Bekah. I was too damn busy and exhausted to take any.

Vacation, all I ever wanted...

We were on vacation in Minnesota and Wisconsin for 8 days and 7 nights. By the 7th night I could've stored all our luggage in the bags under my eyes. I don't think I'll ever again take Ben on vacation without Heath. My parents, Ian and Bekah were a huge help, but there are times when he only wants Mommy or Daddy. And when Daddy's not around, it all falls on Mommy. It didn't help that his sleep schedule got all messed up, so he never went to bed before 8:30pm and never woke up after 5:45am. All. Week. Long. Heath joined us for my cousin's wedding on the weekend, and I had never been so excited to see him, although my joy was masked by my crushing fatigue.

That being said, I'm glad we went. Ben got to spend time with his great-grandparents, his great-aunts and uncles and various other relatives. He also got to spend a lot of time with his Oma and Opa, Uncle Ian and Aunt Bekah, which is great because he'll be all the the more comfortable with them come November, when Mommy and Daddy are going to Hawaii BY THEMSELVES (can you tell I'm just a wee bit excited about that? not only about relaxing on the beach and spending time together, but just the thought of packing for a trip and NOT having to pack for a toddler makes me giddy).

I feel like Ben grew up on this trip. He's not really a baby anymore. He can't walk just yet, but he's so close it'll be any second. And his diet expanded significantly. It was like all of a sudden he couldn't get enough of solid food. He was introduced to the concept that on vacation you eat a lot of junk. He had his first tastes of ice cream, Jell-o, french fries and blueberry muffins. We also discovered that the kid is a carb freak. We did not find his threshold for eating bread. As far as we know, he'll continue eating it indefinitely. I guess he won't be going on Atkins anytime soon.

Once again, Ben proved what a tremendous traveler he is. He did spectacularly well in the car and the frequent changes in environment didn't seem to throw him too much. By the end of the week you could tell he was wiped out, so by the day of my cousin's wedding he was pretty grouchy. The people sitting in front of us got a nice recitation of The Very Hungry Caterpillar about a dozen times during the ceremony. However, the kid is a trooper. And on Sunday he found out just how wonderful it is to come home after a long trip. He was so excited to be home. He crawled around examining everything and squeaked with joy, as if to say, "I never thought I'd see you again!"

It's been nice to be home this week, but we've had trouble getting back on schedule. Ben is resisting naps and putting him to bed at night is horrible. We're back to letting him cry it out and it's been 30-60 minutes (or more) before he finally falls asleep. I think it's because Heath usually puts him to bed and after being away from him for a week Ben's afraid he'll be gone again. It's really sweet and it shows how much he loves his daddy, but it's very stressful for all of us.

Just to end on a pleasant note, I'll share my favorite memory from the week: It was Saturday morning and when I woke up Heath and Ben were lounging on the other bed. I joined them and we all just snuggled for a while, happy to be together again. It was one of those moments that makes you feel all the other crap is totally worth it.

R.I.P. Martha Ann Phillips Borders

Last week Heath's grandmother passed away. I didn't know her very well, but she was always very sweet when I saw her. On Mother's Day she met Ben for the first time. I'm glad he got to spend some time with her. She will be missed.

A four generation photo

Happy Mother's Day to you... and me!

When I was a kid, on days like this my brothers and I always used to ask, "Why is there no kid's day?"

My parents would reply, "Every day is kid's day."

I now know what they mean.


Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers out there, especially my own and my mother-in-law!

The more things change, the more they stay the same

When I was a kid we went up to Minnesota and Wisconsin a lot, to visit family. One of the things my brothers and I dreaded was driving through Madison, WI. My parents went to the university there, so every time we visited we were treated to a narrated tour featuring all their Significant Spots. This was where they worked, that was where they lived after they got married. Oh! That pizza shop used to be a bar! As my parents re-lived their youth we kids whined from the backseat, "This is boooooooooring."

Yesterday, on our way home from Kansas City we stopped in Columbia, MO to visit Ben's Uncle Todd and his girlfriend Jessie. As we drove through town to their apartment I heard from the backseat, "Ben, there's Engineering West! Daddy spent a lot of time there in college. And there's where we saw Lighting Man*!" I had to laugh, because it was an exact replica of my own childhood. Ben's not yet old enough to protest in words, but I'm sure his fussing meant, "This is boooooooooring."


*A mythic figure in Heath and his roommates' college lives.

Poop Pants

There is a rule in our family that once the dinner conversation degrades down to poop (which it always does, for some reason), the meal is over. Usually the timing works out well and we're all finished eating by then, but these days I could stop every meal before we start.

Monday afternoon I had a doctor's appointment and I took Ben along. We ended up having a ridiculously long wait time. At first Ben was asleep in his stroller. Then he woke up and happily had a staring contest with the toy bug hanging from the car seat handle. But after a while he got antsy, so I took him out and sat him on my lap. Finally, after everyone else in the room was gone, they called my name. I picked Ben up and had a horrible realization. One of those moments where time goes into slow motion. Not only had he pooped, but it had leaked out of his diaper onto his pants and onto my pants. Luckily I was wearing dark jeans, but the stain was such that it looked like I had wet myself.

I quickly stuffed Ben into the stroller and covered up the stain with my coat. Once in the examining room the nurse was distracted by Ben's charming smile, so I was able to position my t-shirt so it wasn't obvious. One weight and blood pressure check later she left and I went into Super Mom mode. Wipes! New diaper! Thank goodness I brought a change of clothes for him! He just laid on the examining table grinning up at the fluorescent light fixture. I managed to clean him up and change his clothes before the doctor came in. But the worst part was having to put my poop pants back on to drive home. Oh, those intangible joys of motherhood.