Conversations with a Toddler - Part 10

Me: Let's have apple slices for a snack.

Ben: I don't like apple slices.

Me: Even with peanut butter?

Ben: I want apple slices.

Conversations with a Toddler - Part 9

Scene: Ben and I were walking down the stairs and he started hopping.

Me: Please don't hop on the stairs. You need to walk.

Ben: (Continues hopping)

Me: (More sternly) Stop hopping on the stairs. You need to walk down.

Ben: (Screams) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Me: (Walks away, because often that's a very effective way to make Ben behave. He does not like to be alone. Ever.)

Ben: (Walks down the rest of the stairs, comes to me and gives me a hug) I'm sorry I yelled at you, Mom.

Me: (Heart melts)

Conversations with a Toddler - Part 8

Scene: Ben was having a rough morning and he was rolling around on the floor whining.

Me: Are you angry?

Ben: Yeah.

Me: What made you angry?

Ben: A squirrel.

Conversations with a Toddler - Part 7

Me: Do you want to go to [mall play area]?

Ben: And meet robots there?

Conversations with a Toddler - Part 6

Scene: Diaper change.

Ben: It's poop, not peanut butter.

Me: That's very true.

Conversations with a Toddler - Part 5

Scene: Driving in the car...

Ben: Going to Science Center to meet friends.

Me: Yeah, we're going to the Science Center to meet our friends.

Ben: Good idea.

Conversations with a Toddler - Part 4

Scene: This is all Ben, acting out a scenario with his Thomas the Tank Engine bath toy. All words in [brackets] weren't actually said, but I added to make the meaning more clear.


Ben: Hi, Thomas. What [are you] doing?

Thomas: Watch[ing] Dino[saur Train]. Hi, Ben. What [are you] doing?

Ben: Bath.

Conversations with a Toddler - Part 3

Me: Ben, do you want a drink?

Ben: Yeah.

Me: Water?

Ben *shakes head* No. Monkeys.

Conversations with a Toddler - Part 2

Scene: Ben was finishing up lunch when we had this conversation:

Me: Do you want any more food?
Ben: No! *shakes head vigorously*
Me: So, you're all done?
Ben: No! *shakes head vigorously*
Me: Do you have any idea what you're talking about?
Ben: No! *shakes head vigorously*

Conversations with a toddler - Part 1

Scene: I'm wiping Ben's nose because he's all snotty.

Ben: *cry* *whine*

Me: I know you don't like this, but you have boogers all over your face. You don't want people to call you Booger Face, do you?

Ben: *whine* *cry*

Me: That would be pretty embarrassing when you're president.