Third Time's a Charm

Dear Sam,

Three years! Three years you have been in our life! What an emotional, funny, hard, crazy three years it's been. You're like a ball of emotions turned into a little boy. You go from miserable to insanely excited and back again, stopping at every station along the way, about 20 times a day. It's part being a toddler and I think just part you. It's going to be interesting to see what sloughs off as you get older and what sticks around.

This was your first full year of talking. Around people you don't know well you can be quiet and reserved, but at home you have a lot to say. And what you have to say is often weird and hilarious. I think of anyone in our family, you are the most likely to become an entertainer. You love it when we laugh at something you do, and you will do that thing over and over and over until everyone has left the room. And sometimes you'll start incomprehensibly chattering away really fast and then at the end of it you'll crack up at your own joke.

I hope I always remember your scrunchy smile. I don't know if you'll keep it, but it's so cute and funny. If we tell you to "Smile" for a picture you scrunch up your eyes until they're almost closed, crinkle your nose and pull your mouth back into almost a grimace. It looks like this:

You love cars and animals and puzzles. You also love playing the iPad and even though you can recite the rules, "No videos, no shows, no movies," you still try to be sneaky and get them in whenever you have it. Your love affair with milk has no ending in sight and I think if I fed you nothing but milk and crackers (and maybe the occasional ice cream) you'd be perfectly happy.

It's a shame we're not planning any more children, because you LOVE babies. It started with Taylor, shortly before you turned two, and then Beckham a few months later. You always want to hold them and help feed them and if they're crying you'll tell them how it will be ok. You're a wonderful older cousin. I'm sure they'll look up to you.

You're a sensitive soul. One day Ruben was crying on the playground and you went over and knelt down next to him, talked to him and then when you realized your help wouldn't be enough, you ran and got his mommy. Watching your empathy develop is wonderful. Sensitivity has two sides, of course, and it also means you're more subject to your emotions. That's been a learning curve for me as a mother, but I think recently I've been getting better at handling it.

You're also very stubborn. As a baby you wouldn't hold your bottle, period. Now, as a toddler, you won't use the potty. It's been very frustrating for Daddy and me, but we've had to come to accept that you will be potty trained when YOU want to be, not when we want you to be. I foresee some epic battles of wills between us in the future. But I think your stubbornness also translates into perseverance. You don't give up easily. Every morning we walk Ben and Ruben to school, and usually they're off running before we can blink. And there you are running right behind. You're three years younger, so right now you can't keep up, but that doesn't stop you. You keep running until you catch up with them at the corner. It's inspiring.

You started school a couple months ago. Sometimes you say, "I don't want to go to school," before we leave, but when we get there and you see all the toys you're off running. You also started gymnastics class. I feel like this year might be the year you start to get out from Benny's shadow a bit and become your own person. But that doesn't mean Ben isn't still your favorite playmate. Your "Wreck-It Sam" stage seems to be coming to an end, and sometimes you and Ben actually collaborate on a building project. You two also seem to be developing your own language or short-hand. I'll be making a meal and the two of you will be laughing hysterically at the table, but I have no idea why. I definitely feel like you two gang up on me sometimes, but I suppose that's what brothers are for.

One night at dinner I said to Daddy, somewhat exasperated with you, that when you're in a good mood you're absolutely delightful, but when you're in a bad mood it's HORRIBLE. He looked at me rather pointedly and said, "I wonder who that sounds like." You do take after me personality-wise, in a lot of ways. You're still a TOTAL Daddy's boy, but hopefully that'll ease up in the next year, so I can start guiding you in the ways of being sensitive and introverted. I'll be honest, it's not an easy road, but I know what it's like and I'm here to help you.

I love you so much, Sammy and it's like a ray of sunshine on my face when you point your scrunchy smile at me.

Love,
Mommy

Sam's first day of school

I was a little nervous for Sam's first day of school... Not as nervous as for Ben's, but with Ben it was merely the newness that was nerve wracking. Ben's so outgoing I knew he'd be fine going to school. But Sam's more sensitive than Ben, and I was afraid we might have a different drop-off situation with him. I've seen parents having to walk away from their screaming child at drop-off and always been glad it wasn't me. I didn't know if suddenly I'd be on the other end of that.

However, as a second child Sam has some benefits, as well. He's seen Ben going to school for his entire life and at times he's been very jealous he didn't get to stay and play. So he was very eager to start school and it's been great. We've had exactly zero tears from him, and on the first day he was pretty much the same as Ben. We walked in, said goodbye and he was running off to play with toys. Such a big boy.

Welcome to Avery Kindergarten!

Ben started kindergarten almost two weeks ago and so far it's been amazing. I assumed he'd enjoy it, especially once we found out his best friend and another friend from the neighborhood were in his class. I also assumed the transition would be a little bumpy. He's never done a full-day program before, so I was expecting him to be a tired, grumpy mess when he got home from school. However, I've been very pleasantly surprised. Completely unexpectedly, his attitude actually seems to have gotten better. Over the summer there was lots of fighting with Sam and whining and throwing tantrums (yes, even 5 year olds have tantrums now and again), but now that he's in school he's playing nicer with his brother and being fairly cooperative. Nobody's perfect, so of course he still has Moments, but overall he's been very pleasant.

It was a bit baffling to me at first, but when I started thinking about it I realized that he probably just wasn't getting enough extrovert time. Over the summer we were subject to Sam's naps, which meant he spent most afternoons with only me. And by the afternoon I was jonesin' for some introvert time, so more often than not he spent afternoons playing video games by himself. Going to school and being surrounded by classmates for seven hours a day must be like a breath of fresh air for him.

The idea that being in school restores him is ALSO baffling to me, but I'm so glad for it because it allows me to restore, as well. And I think that's the other piece of the puzzle. While Ben gets his extrovert tank filled at school, I get my introvert tank filled at home while Sam naps. So when we finally come back together at 3pm we're both feeling happier and more content, which obviously leads to a more peaceful co-existence. It's lovely.

Another lovely side effect of kindergarten is that it seems to have... opened up his brain. Since about age 4 he's been pretty resistant to us teaching him anything, like reading, math, etc. But now he doesn't seem as annoyed when Heath asks him math questions or I ask him to read something. And the other morning over breakfast he and I had a GREAT conversation. It started with him asking about ice ages and over about 10 minutes it morphed into talking about climate change, the origins of humans, evolution and why people have different skin colors. It was the best conversation we've ever had and it was truly a give and take. It wasn't just me lecturing him. It was amazing and three weeks ago I never would've imagined it.

So Ben is definitely flourishing in school and it's hard for me to express in words how wonderful it is to watch. It fills my heart to see him maturing and growing into the person he will be. It's absolutely amazing.

Merry Christmas!

Well, the holiday season is in full swing and here at the Borders house we've been really getting into the spirit. The boys and I decorated boxes and then baked cookies to give to our neighbors and family.  We made gingerbread houses. We bought a Countdown to Christmas Tree, which is magnetic and each day you put a new ornament on until you get to the top and put the star on the tree on Christmas. The boys really love that. And of course we decorated our tree. Here's what Sam said after every time he put up an ornament:



It was pretty awesome. And we've continued the tradition of taking a series of horrible photos in front of the tree, though Heath and I bowed out of the actual picture this year:

There were more. That's the great thing about digital cameras, now we can take TONS of horrible photos, instead of just one. Literally this is the best one we got, where they were both non-blurry and at least sort of looking toward the camera:

I'm almost done with my shopping and wrapping. Just a couple more things to pick up. Some years I feel like the stress and craziness of December distracts me from enjoying it, but this year I've been able to slow down and appreciate everything.

The Backpack Series

As a dutiful younger brother, Sam idolizes Ben. He does everything Ben does, literally. Even if Ben is just standing by the door with his hands clasped behind his back, Sam will sidle up next to him and assume the same position. It's adorable and sometimes awful, because of course the copy-cat routine isn't confined only to cute behaviors. However, today I bring you one of the cuties. Since preschool starts again next week (YEA!) I thought this was appropriate. Sam Wearing Ben's Backpack:

Pictures

 I love the look on his face.

At the Magic House for Noontime New Year's Eve. 

We all promptly got the stomach flu after this. Happy New Year!

 One stop on our trip to Phoenix.

 At the ghost town near Phoenix.

He stayed outside in the snow fewer than five minutes. 

Not a fan of being cold.

Christmas Pictures (Yes, I realize it's late February)

I knew Sam would freak out, so I didn't even try.

He wears this shirt constantly. 

I hope he's always so excited when I buy him shoes. 

First haircut

Before

After

Fall Fun

In the tree house at the park

 Pumpkin Patch

Pumpkins are very exciting!

Meeting a friend at the pumpkin patch

How do YOU carry your socks around the house?!

I always fall asleep while reading, too

Watching the workers finish our new back porch

Plants Vs. Zombies

Cutest zombie ever

Zombie and Sunflower put aside their differences

Readin' and writin'

For the last few months Ben has been very interested in what things say. Every car ride is a constant chorus of, "What does that sign say? What does that sign say?" So Heath and I have taken that as a signal of readiness for reading. Though both of us loved school and emphasize learning we don't try to cram lessons down Ben's throat. But when he shows genuine interest in a subject we jump on it.

He already knew a lot of the letter sounds (Thanks, Super Why!), so we've been working on those and showing him how the sounds go together to create words. He seems to be getting it a little bit. He's not reading on his own by any means, but he did read a word! He asked where we were going that day, so I wrote ZOO on the board in his room. I was just about to say, "What sound does Z make?" when he said, "Z... oo!" I think it helped that the day before I had written BOO on the board and explained that two "O"s make the ooooooo sound. And he remembered! How amazing is that?

Ben's also getting a lot better at writing letters. He can reliably write his name (though sometimes the N is backwards and he can get a little overzealous with the lines on the E). The other day he told me he wanted to write "Cat in the Hat." So we got out the notebook, I told him the letters and he wrote them all down. Just today his teacher said he worked with one of their student teachers and wrote down the lyrics to a song they sing. I'm so proud of how hard he's working to master these skills and that it's all coming from his own interest.