Third Time's a Charm

Dear Sam,

Three years! Three years you have been in our life! What an emotional, funny, hard, crazy three years it's been. You're like a ball of emotions turned into a little boy. You go from miserable to insanely excited and back again, stopping at every station along the way, about 20 times a day. It's part being a toddler and I think just part you. It's going to be interesting to see what sloughs off as you get older and what sticks around.

This was your first full year of talking. Around people you don't know well you can be quiet and reserved, but at home you have a lot to say. And what you have to say is often weird and hilarious. I think of anyone in our family, you are the most likely to become an entertainer. You love it when we laugh at something you do, and you will do that thing over and over and over until everyone has left the room. And sometimes you'll start incomprehensibly chattering away really fast and then at the end of it you'll crack up at your own joke.

I hope I always remember your scrunchy smile. I don't know if you'll keep it, but it's so cute and funny. If we tell you to "Smile" for a picture you scrunch up your eyes until they're almost closed, crinkle your nose and pull your mouth back into almost a grimace. It looks like this:

You love cars and animals and puzzles. You also love playing the iPad and even though you can recite the rules, "No videos, no shows, no movies," you still try to be sneaky and get them in whenever you have it. Your love affair with milk has no ending in sight and I think if I fed you nothing but milk and crackers (and maybe the occasional ice cream) you'd be perfectly happy.

It's a shame we're not planning any more children, because you LOVE babies. It started with Taylor, shortly before you turned two, and then Beckham a few months later. You always want to hold them and help feed them and if they're crying you'll tell them how it will be ok. You're a wonderful older cousin. I'm sure they'll look up to you.

You're a sensitive soul. One day Ruben was crying on the playground and you went over and knelt down next to him, talked to him and then when you realized your help wouldn't be enough, you ran and got his mommy. Watching your empathy develop is wonderful. Sensitivity has two sides, of course, and it also means you're more subject to your emotions. That's been a learning curve for me as a mother, but I think recently I've been getting better at handling it.

You're also very stubborn. As a baby you wouldn't hold your bottle, period. Now, as a toddler, you won't use the potty. It's been very frustrating for Daddy and me, but we've had to come to accept that you will be potty trained when YOU want to be, not when we want you to be. I foresee some epic battles of wills between us in the future. But I think your stubbornness also translates into perseverance. You don't give up easily. Every morning we walk Ben and Ruben to school, and usually they're off running before we can blink. And there you are running right behind. You're three years younger, so right now you can't keep up, but that doesn't stop you. You keep running until you catch up with them at the corner. It's inspiring.

You started school a couple months ago. Sometimes you say, "I don't want to go to school," before we leave, but when we get there and you see all the toys you're off running. You also started gymnastics class. I feel like this year might be the year you start to get out from Benny's shadow a bit and become your own person. But that doesn't mean Ben isn't still your favorite playmate. Your "Wreck-It Sam" stage seems to be coming to an end, and sometimes you and Ben actually collaborate on a building project. You two also seem to be developing your own language or short-hand. I'll be making a meal and the two of you will be laughing hysterically at the table, but I have no idea why. I definitely feel like you two gang up on me sometimes, but I suppose that's what brothers are for.

One night at dinner I said to Daddy, somewhat exasperated with you, that when you're in a good mood you're absolutely delightful, but when you're in a bad mood it's HORRIBLE. He looked at me rather pointedly and said, "I wonder who that sounds like." You do take after me personality-wise, in a lot of ways. You're still a TOTAL Daddy's boy, but hopefully that'll ease up in the next year, so I can start guiding you in the ways of being sensitive and introverted. I'll be honest, it's not an easy road, but I know what it's like and I'm here to help you.

I love you so much, Sammy and it's like a ray of sunshine on my face when you point your scrunchy smile at me.

Love,
Mommy

Six in the books

Dear Ben,

This past year wasn't one of our best. You and I clashed a lot. I think I've yelled more in the past year than all my other years of parenting combined. Really, I think it was the alchemy of you, Sam and me together all the time. I didn't get enough time to myself to recharge, you didn't get enough social time, neither you nor Sam got enough of my attention. Everywhere you looked nobody was getting enough of what they needed and everyone was grumpy because of that. Luckily, our savior arrived in the form of Kindergarten. These past few weeks have been wonderful. You get plenty of social time at school, I get plenty of alone time while Sam naps and we're all much happier when we come back together. We get the chance to MISS each other. It's a very strange feeling, missing you. We've spent most of the last six years together. But missing you makes the times we are together all the more sweet. I look forward to picking you up from school and hearing about your day (what I can get out of you, playing 20 questions). Our conversations are getting more interesting as your mind and world expands. And it's just more fun being together. As you get older you'll realize that even the best relationships need some air, and Kindergarten is just about perfect for us.

One of the best things about this year was COUSINS! Taylor and Beckham were born only a few months apart. You're not overly interested in them yet, as they can't keep up with you, but when you do turn your attention to them you're extremely sweet, doling out hugs and kisses. Avery, on the other hand, is becoming a more worthy sparring companion everyday. She runs and jumps and climbs and swings right along with you. And hearing your duet of the Frozen soundtrack in the back of the van was one of the highlights of my year. It makes me so happy that you get to grow up around cousins and aunts and uncles and grandparents. That is one of the greatest gifts I can give you.

This year brought a couple of big milestones. You took swim lessons all winter and by the time the pool opened on Memorial Day you could SWIM. Like, for real swim. You even passed your swim test and can now jump off the diving board! I'm so proud of your accomplishment, but even better was seeing you proud of yourself. Your other big milestone was riding on a plane all by yourself! You went to visit Oma and Opa in Phoenix. You're becoming so independent and capable.

You completed your last year of preschool in May. You and Ms. Dee Dee formed a tight bond of silliness and energy. She's the first teacher I think you really connected with and it was fun to watch that. I hope you have many more teachers who inspire you like she did. You also played your first year of baseball, with Daddy as the coach! You've been a natural athlete since you were two years old, so I think you're going to enjoy many more years of playing.

Even though we butted heads a lot this year, in between our yelling and crying I could see you maturing. You're emerging from baby/toddler/preschool-hood and becoming someone who can use logic and have patience and be helpful without even being asked (or not throw a fit when you are asked). Even though you've realized you can use your influence with Sam for evil (i.e. telling him to throw toys or make messes or cause chaos), sometimes you use it for good. You encourage him to eat his unwanted food, or help him in the bathroom or put on his shoes. As always, watching your and Sam's relationship develop is a joy of my life.

It's getting FUN to hang out with you. Like, actual fun, not just kiddie fun. We can all go to movies together now. You and I have gone to the Muny and the symphony and to paint pottery and we even went to Six Flags by ourselves once. You can ride rides that are fun for me, too! And we're moving on to chapter books! All summer we spent our afternoons reading Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing (at which you laughed and laughed), Mathilda, Freckle Juice, The Phantom Tollbooth and just last week we started Harry Potter. Harry Potter! One of my favorite book series! It's so exciting to be able to share my favorite things with you.

I'm really looking forward to seeing how Kindergarten molds and shapes you. This year is going to be fun!

I love your pickles and fries,
Mommy

Boy 2 Turns 2

Dear Sam,

You've become such a big boy. A year ago you couldn't even walk, and now you're running, jumping and climbing on everything. It happened so slowly over the year, but when I think back it's amazing how much you've changed. You're even starting to talk! You've mastered saying "more milk," and it's AWESOME. Not only do you get what you want, but I know what you want, without a lot of pantomiming and questions. I'm so excited to hear all the other things you'll say.

It's been fun getting to know you better over the last year. You like to copy whatever Ben does, but you're definitely your own person. You're fairly quiet a lot, but when you have something to say it comes BURSTING out of you. There have been many peaceful car rides suddenly interrupted by a blast of noise from you. You also like to observe a situation before you go diving in, but once you decide to join, you're in there. You'll mix it up, even with older kids. But if you're not interested, you're perfectly content to play by yourself, as well.

One of the most striking pieces of your personality is your empathy and gentleness. Toddlers aren't known for possessing those qualities, but in you they shine through. It obviously disturbs you when another child is crying. You want to go over and help comfort. You're also (for the most part) very gentle with the cats. They like you better than Ben because you pet them nicely and rarely pull their tails or yank them off the couch by their fur. I think it's because you just love animals. Ever since you were very young you've been fascinated by them. You point out birds and squirrels constantly. You want to visit every dog who comes to the park. You love the zoo. If you become a veterinarian or a zoologist or an animal trainer I will not be surprised at all.

Like all children (especially toddlers), you have those moments that drive parents crazy. You pulled every tissue out of a brand new box. For some reason you've decided you don't want to wear a coat EVER. A few weeks ago, when Daddy was gone on business, you woke up at 5:30am every morning. And you throw toys around like it's going out of style. Which it is. Stop it. But for the most part, you're a very lovable guy. You're smiley and affectionate and you like to dance and your gorgeous blue eyes don't hurt, either.

You've had many adventures this year. You took your first plane ride to Phoenix to visit Oma and Opa. You went to the beach for the first time. You rode rides at Six Flags. You visited all our relatives up in Iowa. And just a couple weeks ago you got a brand new baby cousin. You love Taylor! You pat him and give him kisses and you love to hold him. You're not the baby anymore, and I think you'll be a great big cousin.

I'm so happy you're in our family. You're my favorite Sam.

I love you,
Mommy

Dear Ben,

This year, your fifth, has been an emotional roller coaster. In contrast to your fourth year, when everyday was up and down, up and down, this year the ups and downs have been in weeks. So for a few weeks you'd be the best kid I could imagine. Kind, helpful, funny, creative, thoughtful, mature, obedient. I'd feel like the best mother. And then it would switch and suddenly for a few weeks you were beastly: Yelling, slamming doors, refusing to listen. Those weeks were tough. The good news is that you generally save that behavior for Dad and me. At school, with babysitters, with family you're well behaved and respectful. Only one time in two years of school have you gotten a bad report and your teacher was SO SURPRISED.

The most exciting thing from this past year is that you're learning to read and write at an amazing clip. Just a couple weeks ago you made a card for a friend's birthday and you sounded out "Happy Birthday" almost all by yourself. I'm in awe of your curiosity and voracious need to learn new things. Both will serve you so well in the years to come.

One of the most fun things about your emerging personality is that you're definitely picking up on Dad's and my geekiness. Video games are a favorite of yours. You love making up stories about zombies and dragons. You even wore your wizard hat to the Renaissance Faire. At first it freaked you out a little that people kept talking to you, but after a while when someone would say, "Are you a wizard?" you'd proudly say yes. And when Dad and I brought you home Catan Jr. from Gen Con, you have no idea how excited and proud we were by how quickly you picked up the game.

The biggest milestone this year (to me) was your first Weird Al concert. I was so excited, but at first I wasn't sure I'd made the right decision, taking you so young. It started close to bed time and you seemed tired. When Al came out on stage you just seemed perplexed by all the lights and how loud it was. You said you'd had fun, but I wasn't so sure. However, the very next day you started asking for your iPod to listen to Weird Al. And now all you ever request in the car is Weird Al. And when we hear original songs in public you say, "This is Weird Al!" So even though you have absolutely no context for the jokes or parodies, I've succeeded in making you a Weird Al fan.

The most poignant milestone this year was taking the training wheels off your bike. It just seems to completely symbolize you growing up. Now you have your own transportation and you can (almost) completely balance yourself on your own. It's scary and thrilling to have you becoming more independent. It makes my heart ache a little, but it's also what's supposed to happen.

You're getting to the sweet spot of childhood. Those handful of years where you're old enough to be somewhat self-sufficient, you can do stuff that's fun for us and you still want to hang out with the family. In a couple more years Sam will be in the sweet spot with you and I think the four of us are going to have a lot of fun. I'm so looking forward to the next half-dozen years with you. You're turning into someone I genuinely want to hang out with and I'm so proud to be your mother.

Happy birthday, Ben!

I love you,
Mom

The first One for boy Two

Dear Sam,

It's your first birthday letter! I'm so excited to write this for you. You are such a happy, content, easy-going little guy. Your shy smile charms everyone you meet. Only adding to your appeal, you're also extremely affectionate. I've been on the receiving end of countless sloppy baby kisses, drool sliding down my cheek when you're done. When I pick you up from your crib you throw your arms around my neck and put your head on my shoulders. I never want to forget that feeling. I hope you can always be so unabashedly open about your emotions.

We've learned a lot about you this year. We learned you hate getting dressed with a fiery passion and you're not too thrilled about having your diaper changed, either. The changing table isn't a happy place for you. Unless I give you a book to peruse. Then you forget about the humiliations happening to your lower half. You love books! For a couple months now you've been picking out books and bringing them to me to read. Then we proceed to read them approximately 5,000 times each. And even though one of your all-time favorite activities is making sure Ben's bookshelf is clear and all the books are on the floor, where they belong, you're actually fairly gentle with the books. I don't think you've ripped a page yet. You did destroy a couple board books, but to be fair Ben contributed to that eventual destruction a good amount when he was your age.

We've learned you love blueberries and knocking down block towers and playing the piano. But the biggest thing we've learned about you so far is that you're STUBBORN. You will not hold your bottle. You're completely capable of it. You drink from a sippy cup all the time, but why hold your own bottle when Mommy or Daddy will do it for you? Joke's on you, Baby, the bottle's going bye-bye soon... I'm trying to think of another concrete example of your stubbornness, but I can't. It's more like you've just got this quiet defiance about you. Not defiance like a teenager, but more a determination to do things your own way, no matter what everyone else does or what's expected of you. Your crawling style is a good example. You crawl with your right leg curled underneath you and your left leg stuck straight out to the side, foot dragging on the floor. It looks bizarre, but it works for you and you've gotten pretty fast that way. In the last couple weeks you've been crawling more in the conventional way and just this week you seem to have switched to it entirely. It's faster, easier and more streamlined, allowing access into tunnels and between chairs the way the one-leg-out method didn't. Hopefully that means in the future, when presented with a better option you'll evaluate it and eventually give up your own stubborn way if it isn't working.

So let's talk about Ben. Mommy and Daddy may be your favorite people for snuggles, but Ben is your favorite playmate. Nobody else can make you laugh like he can. His exuberance and silliness get you every time. Almost from day one you've known he was special. Before you could even sit up you would watch his every move. When he enters a room your face lights up. Ben finally has a full-time partner to play Chase. You do your best and even though you can't crawl fast enough to keep up it's pure joy for you when Ben wants you to play. Soon you'll be toddling after him and before you know it you'll catch him. Watching your relationship with Ben blossom has been one of the best things about this year. I'm glad you have each other. I know you're not always going to get along, but I hope you keep making each other laugh.

You have been the perfect second baby. From the time you were born you were subject to the schedule we already had set up, but it never phased you. I dragged you around in the car seat to preschool, to the Y, to the playground, to the grocery store and as long as you were fed and could get a little shut eye you were fine. You're a great sleeper. You're a great eater. You can entertain yourself. You've been a joy. I can't wait to see what things we learn about you in the coming year. I'm so glad you're in our family.

Love,
Mommy

Party on, Wayne!

Ben's birthday always lands right around Labor Day, so we usually push the party to the next weekend. Last year's party was INSANE. We did it at the train store, which used to be Ben's favorite place on Earth, and I think we had like 16 or 17 kids, plus parents. He got way too many presents and it was just too much. We definitely were giving him one more blow-out before he was no longer an only child. So, we knew we didn't want to do something too crazy this year. We picked the park near our house and told Ben he could choose four friends to invite (plus family). It turned out really well. The weather was absolutely gorgeous, people ate most of the food, Ben got a manageable number of presents. The kids just ran around and played on the playground and I didn't have to plan games or provide entertainment. Perfect.

We could not get a non-blurry picture of him with this 

remote-controlled car, which accurately describes his

excitement when opening it.

Eating pizza with Avery after a hard day at the playground.

Four!

Dear Ben,

We survived! I don't think I've said that since your first birthday, but this year has been rough. Before you turned three I got a little warning from some friends with older kids that three was worse than two, and boy were they right! We've been struggling this year, with independence, with wanting more attention than I can give and with the fact that you want to do so many things, but you just can't do them all yet. Hopefully our level of fighting this year isn't reached again, well EVER, but realistically until you're a teenager. It hasn't all been bad, of course, but I'm committed to showing a realistic picture of parenthood, so I'm not going to only sing your praises just because it's your birthday. :)

You had several big life changes this year. Of course, the biggest was Sam being born. It was a little tough on you at first. For the first couple months you were obviously out of sorts, but overall I'm so impressed with the way you welcomed him into our family. You never took your frustration out on the baby, just on us (which is how it should be). And as Sam's gotten older and more interactive you're having more fun with him. One of the best parts of this year has been listening to you boys laugh together. You love to make Sam laugh and he loves watching you. You're so sweet with him, giving him hugs and kisses and mostly sharing your toys. I can see the very beginnings of sibling rivalry, as Sam becomes more mobile, but I think you guys are going to have a lot of fun, too.

Another big event of the year was going binky free. Daddy and I were a little afraid of this milestone, so we pulled out the big guns: bribery. With your remaining binkies you bought a bike and you never looked back. Once again your ability to roll with big changes blew my mind. Which always makes it so odd when you break down over the littlest things, like who went into the house first.

The last big event, which was probably bigger for me than for you, was going nap free. All summer you've been whittling down the number of naps you take per week and at this point you're down to one or two. On days when we have nothing to do it can be a little maddening for me (since you still won't play by yourself for any length of time), but on busy weekends it's actually kind of nice. So, the good with the bad.

You absolutely loved your first year of preschool and Daddy and I are so excited by that. Every single day when I picked you up from school your teacher said, "Ben's had a great day." We never had a bad report about you and your teacher was always telling us you were a good friend and a good leader in class. I'm so proud of you for that.

Your interests continue to run toward building and reading and just running around. You're an odd mix of Daddy and me, but I guess that's what we were going for! Although I complained about it incessantly, I was a little sad when your obsession with trains waned this year. It had been such a huge part of your life for two and a half years, it's hard to believe it's over. For a while we thought a Lego obsession might manifest, and I still think it will, but it might be a little early. Right now your focus has turned to ANGRY BIRDS. Everything you play becomes some version of Angry Birds: someone's a pig, someone's a red bird, something's a stolen egg. You're very imaginative with it and it's fun to watch.

With three behind us I'm starting to see some light at the end of the tunnel. You still throw yourself on the floor in agony every time we tell you to brush your teeth, BUT sometimes when I tell you to get dressed you just... do it. Without a fuss, without a fight. It's amazing. And you're helpful around the house, sometimes without even being asked. Between the tantrums and the deliberate disobedience I can see flashes of you becoming a great kid. And I have hope that there are better years ahead. Maybe even next year!

Happy birthday, Ben. I love you.

Love,
Mommy

Another year, another party

Since Ben's birthday is right around Labor Day (his actual birth day was the day after Labor Day, which was a little disappointing) his birthday parties will probably always be before or after the real day. So on Sunday we had his party at one of his favorite places - the train store. It was wonderful. We had the max number of kids they allow - 16 - but it went so smoothly. They have a person dedicated to running your party, so even with a bunch of 2-5 year olds hitting a pinata it never felt out of control. Of course, I think most of the kids were a little perplexed at getting to hit something with a bat indoors.

The candy rush

They even set up and cleaned up all the plates, cups, juice and cupcakes, even though we provided them. It was awesome, and exactly what I wanted at six and a half months pregnant - to do as little work as possible!

Enjoying delicious cupcakes which I painstakingly bought at a bakery

L-R: Amelia, Logan, Ben, Elena, Luke and Colin

The kids had a blast playing at the ginormous train table they have for parties.

And Ben got to add his hand print to the hundreds already up on the wall.

It was great and I know Ben had a good time. We probably won't do another blow out party like that again for a while. Between taking him to Chuck E. Cheese on his actual birthday and the party, we spent quite a bit of money this year... But I see it as the last hurrah for him as an only child. And it's really fun to make your kid so happy.

Three years and counting...

Dear Ben,

Today you turn three! I've actually been thinking of you as three for a while, because your communication skills have blossomed this year. Your speech is becoming clearer and it's no longer rote memorization and parroting. You're coming up with ideas all on your own. Just recently you've started telling little stories. They usually start from something that really happened, or an idea we were discussing, but then they meander and grow into strange and wonderful places. I love listening to your stories and look forward to many more.

 One year old

This was a big year for milestones. Over the winter we put away your crib and now you're in a big boy bed. I had no idea what to expect from that transition, but you took to the bed like you'd been sleeping in it your entire life. It didn't phase you at all and it has made traveling infinitely easier. No more dragging around the annoying pack 'n play. It also makes it a lot easier for you to stall at bed time, but you're slowly getting better about that.

In the spring we tackled potty training. This one hasn't gone quite as smoothly as sleeping in a big boy bed, but we've left the diapers behind with no looking back. We still have occasional accidents, but it's not as big a deal as I feared it would be.

Of course, just recently you had a huge milestone and that's starting preschool. You're such a social, curious, active boy I knew you'd love school, and I was right. You talked about it for months beforehand and even though I could tell you were a little nervous to actually begin, you haven't had a sad day since you started. I hope this lays the foundation for a great school career and fosters a love of learning.

 Two years old

The biggest milestone, though, was started this year but won't end until next year. Right now I'm six months pregnant with your little brother. So far you're a great big brother. You hug and kiss my stomach and sometimes sing to your baby brother. It's so sweet to watch. You talk about the baby in your belly and the baby in Daddy's belly and how they'll all come to live in our house. Obviously you don't know the realities of having a baby around 24/7, but almost all your friends have gotten siblings in the last year, so you've seen babies in all stages of development. I'm so excited for you to have a brother, Ben. At first it won't be very exciting for you, but I'm sure after a while you'll realize how he can be used to your advantage. You definitely got that trait from your Daddy. Adding another person to our family is very nerve wracking, but in the past you've done a whole lot better with big transitions than I have. Hopefully that trend will continue. But no matter what, you're the person who made me into a mother and that's a specialness that will never change.

So far every year of your life has been better than the last and the third year was no exception. However, I'm nervous about the upcoming year. You're showing signs of three year old independence, which is good when you want to do things yourself like clean up or get into the car, but not so good when you put your stubborn foot down and won't move, figuratively and literally. Between that and the transition into a four person family, I'm bracing myself for a difficult year ahead. Even if it is hard, I know there will be bright spots and hopefully I can treasure those as they happen (and remember them amidst the screaming). Just this morning when you asked for waffles I told you there were only two left, so you could have both. But you insisted on sharing, so we both had one waffle. It was so generous of you and it gives me hope that we'll get through the fourth year intact. I love you, my sweet boy.

 Three years old

Love,
Mommy

Thomas, Thomas, everywhere

With Ben's and Avery's births, our family now has a streak of birthdays at the end of August through September. Between August 23 and September 14 there are four: Avery, my dad, Ben and then me. For various reasons, this year Ben actually had three separate birthday celebrations, the last one of which, his playgroup party, was yesterday. Have you ever thrown a party for 10 kids between the ages of 0 and 3? If so, then you know why I heaved a sigh of relief when the party was over. Finally I could take down the Thomas the Tank Engine decorations. Finally we were done with birthdays for a while. Then I realized my birthday party is on Saturday and it just sort of made me feel tired. However, I quickly remembered that my wonderful in-laws will be hosting Ben over night so I can enjoy my birthday celebration to the fullest. Hooray for in-laws!

Speaking of Thomas the Tank, we are now a fully Thomas household. For his birthday Ben got Thomas pajamas, a Thomas shirt and shorts, a Thomas bath toy, a Thomas train holder, a bunch of track and no fewer than a dozen Thomas and friends trains. I also managed to find him a Thomas Halloween costume. Thomas goes in the car everywhere and even into the crib at night. The craziest thing is that Ben's never even seen the TV show. He learned about the trains only from visiting friends' houses and playing with them at several children's museums around town.

So, I think Ben's 2nd birthday has been celebrated enough. Now it's time to round out the streak and celebrate my 30th!

On the second year of life

Dear Ben,

Today you turn two! With the birth of your cousin Avery only a week and a half ago, it's even more apparent all the changes you've gone through in the last two years.

 On your actual birth day

I have to admit, this year has been a lot more fun than the first year. Your communication skills have grown leaps and bounds. Especially in the last six months, we've actually been able to (sometimes) understand what you want. Of course there is still miscommunication. Only yesterday after I cut up a banana for your snack you spent five minutes telling me you wanted a "boon." I kept saying I didn't understand and both of us were getting frustrated. You obviously knew what you wanted, but I just didn't get it. Finally I realized you wanted a "spoon." The relief to both of us was visible. It's probably a lesson. This is a sad thought, but right now is probably as close as we're ever going to be. You're so open and immodest and you don't yet know enough or care enough to be able to keep things from me. I know your whole life and I can pretty much tell what you're thinking by the flit of your eyes or the look on your face. And yet, even with that we still have times when we just cannot get our meanings across. So maybe in the future we need to remember that and be patient with one another. I will direct you to this blog post when you're 15 and screaming, "I hate you, Mom!" (Wow, I hope that never happens.)

The first anniversary of your birth

Really this year has been about the very first, baby steps of letting you go into the world. It seems like every week we're letting you climb higher on the playground by yourself, or letting you walk through the parking lot instead of carrying you. Now you can go down steps without holding my hand and you'll even go underwater at the pool! You're a brave little boy.

But here's the dichotomy: You're also cautious. So even though you'll run around the playground like a crazy man, you'll always stop and evaluate before jumping off something new. Even as a two year old I didn't have the energy you have. I'm always running to catch up with you. So it's nice that you give me a moment to catch my breath and adjust before you try something different.

You're an energetic, fun-loving boy. We've entered Tantrum Territory, but most of the time they're short-lived and you quickly go back to being your happy self.  It's a good thing you're so friendly because you still get compliments on your hair everywhere we go. You'll usually say "hi" and "bye" and "thank you," charming most people we meet. You have all the employees at the YMCA wrapped around your little finger.

You enjoy being with people, which is why playgroup is so great. You know all the kids and the moms and you're very generous with your friends. You hand out Goldfish crackers and last week you even shared your Thomas train with Isaac at the playground. I know it was hard, but it paid off because this week at the playground Isaac shared his trains with you! Two years ago I wasn't sure if I could pull off this parenting thing, but watching you share your toys and hearing you say "please" and "thank you" makes me feel like we can do this.

You're growing up to be a wonderful boy. Every week a new facet of your personality emerges and it's fascinating for me to watch. I'm so glad I have a front row seat.

This morning

Love,
Mommy

It's all about perspective

This actually happened months ago, but I forgot to post about it until now.

We attended a playgroup birthday party. I don't know if you've ever been to a party with 8-10 toddlers present, but it's chaos. Not even controlled chaos. You were lucky if you didn't have a truck rammed into your ankles. At the party the following happened:

Alyssa, the birthday girl, had a toy which the kids could sit on and spin (called, amazingly enough, a Sit 'n Spin), but it wasn't obvious to them how to work it. Isaac was trying to use it but failing, so his mother grabbed a life size (to a toddler) Elmo doll to demonstrate how it worked. As an aside, Elmo is a beloved character for almost all the kids. Well, Isaac got mad because Elmo was using his toy, so he tackled Elmo and started choking him. Seriously. This caused Lily to start wailing because Isaac was attacking Elmo.

I'm sure it was traumatic for Lily, but to the adults watching it was quite funny.

I knew I was blogging this the second it happened!

Last night we were at Ian and Bekah's celebrating the end of Ian's 27th year of life. Bekah's starting to show her pregnancy, so I thought it would be cute if we could get Ben to point at her stomach and say, "Baby." We were all sitting around the table and Ben wandered between Bekah's and my chair, so I pointed at her stomach and said, "Ben, look! Baby!" And instead of imitating me and pointing to Bekah's stomach he went around the table, pointed at Ian's stomach and said, "Baby!"

Whether he was commenting on Ian's physique or maturity level we'll never know.

It's my party and I'll cry if I want to

Overall, Ben's birthday party was a success. I was a little worried because he'd gotten shots the day before and they had him feeling out of sorts. The snot as well as the crankiness was flowing liberally. Plus, we'd hoped to have a backyard barbecue, but menacing clouds kept us inside. It didn't actually rain, though, which made Heath's grilling much easier.

Ben got into a better mood once other kids started arriving. I think we have an extrovert on our hands, because he's happier when he's around kids. I was even able to leave his side without him throwing a fit, which is always kind of iffy these days.

I like being able to have people come to our house and enjoy themselves, but as hostess you never get to have very much fun at your own party. I don't feel like I got to talk to anyone for more than 2 minutes. And Heath was outside grilling for half the party, so I'm sure he felt the same. Still, it was wonderful how many people showed up to help us celebrate one year of Ben.

As with any one year old's birthday party, the cake smashing was the highlight. Ben was more timid than I expected. At first he only swiped frosting off the sides. But maaaaan, did he love that frosting. Heath and I helped him dig into the cake a little, but he never went face first, as some people were hoping. Probably just as well, since I haven't gotten to the nostril extraction chapter in What to Expect the Toddler Years. After about 10 minutes of this we decided to stop him and just before we took the cake away he wiped his cakey hands all over his face. Classic.

By this time he was getting tired and the cranky was re-emerging, but people had brought a mountain of presents, so we decided to dig into them. We tried to get Ben to open the first one, but he was not interested. So I opened them while he sat on Heath's lap and read. People were amazingly generous. We got a ton of books and many, many toys. I'm parceling them out slowly over the next few weeks.

After the 3 foot high pile of wrapping paper was cleaned up, it was time for the birthday boy's well-earned nap. He actually slept for an hour, which surprised me considering how much pure sugar he ingested, but when he woke up he was WIRED. He laughed at me for several minutes because of the way I shook my head back and forth. The kid was high. I could almost hear him saying, "Dude... I feel like a blue vase." It's safe to say he won't be having that much sugar again for a long time.

A place filler

I will do a write-up of Ben's birthday party soon, but in the meantime here's the video of him eating his cake:



Here's the link, if that video goes too slowly: Let Ben eat cake!

On the eve of our first kid birthday party

We are furiously preparing for Ben's party tomorrow. The house is now presentable and lots of food has been procured. Presents have been wrapped and there are balloons floating in the laundry room (protected from both toddlers and felines). I forgot about them and then they scared the crap out of me when I opened the door. Good thing Ben's not old enough to remember that, because I'm sure I'd never hear the end of it. Tonight I have to bake the cakes and then we're pretty much ready.

Wednesday we had a good day. Unfortunately Heath had caught a bad cold, so he was down for the count. It's good Ben won't remember that, either, but I know Heath felt pretty badly about it. However, we made the best of the day and headed to the Botanical Garden with a few playgroup friends. We saw koi and then we played in the children's garden. They have a splash area and Ben had a great time in the water.

One complete revolution around the sun

Dear Ben,

One year ago on this very day you came into our lives. Daddy and I were so happy to finally meet you. Getting to know you over this past year has been one of the best experiences of my life.

We've done a lot this year. We joined a playgroup and met a lot of new friends. We took three road trips and one plane trip and you were excellent all four times. We've gone to the mall, to the movies, to the park, to numerous playgrounds and we spent a lot of time walking around our own neighborhood.

You've also changed a lot. A year ago you were this tiny blob who couldn't even lift his own head up. You could barely stay awake long enough to eat. Now you're crawling and walking around the house and soon you'll be running and climbing (Lord, help us all). You laugh a lot now and you seem to be a genuinely happy person. You have no idea how wonderful it is to just lie on the floor, tickle you and listen to you laugh. As Daddy would say, it is a Lifetime Moment.

One big aspect of your personality that has emerged is that you're very investigative. Anytime you come into contact with something new you have to turn it over and examine it before you play with it or stick it in your mouth (so far you haven't deemed anything unworthy of being stuck into your mouth). It's also been the same way with big physical changes. As I've said before, you have to do a cost-benefit analysis before you attempt anything new. Thus, when you started both crawling and walking it was a few weeks before either really caught on. You had to figure out for yourself if this new mode of locomotion was really worth all the trouble of learning it. Everyone says you look so much like your Daddy and at least in that way you think like him, too.

Benny, I love you so much and I'm still in awe that I created a person like you. This year has been a total roller coaster and it hasn't all been good, but there was never a moment that I didn't love you. Today and on this day every year in the future we will celebrate the day we met you. I can't wait to find out even more about you and watch as you unfold into the person you are and will become. It is an amazing honor to be a part of it.

Love,
Mommy

We'll eat a lot of broccoli and drink a lot of beer!

Today is Heath's 28th birthday and Ben's 9 month birthday. Standard wisdom is that now Ben's been out of me as long as he was in me, but I was pregnant 40 weeks and 3 days and he won't be that old until next week. Regardless, it's still a big day!

Happy birthday to a wonderful husband and father. You enrich our lives everyday and I couldn't do this without you!