My turn

In Ben, Heath has a mini-me. Their personalities and the way they think are pretty much the same. I've often been envious of that, but it does mean that when Ben does something annoying that I just know Heath would've done as a kid I get to say, "This is YOUR fault." :)

Well, Heath will probably get to turn the tables in the next few years, because since turning one, Sam has revealed that he's a lot like me. He's sensitive. If another kid is crying, even someone he doesn't know, he seems concerned and will even go over and try to help. It's especially evident if Ben's upset.

Sam definitely seems more introverted than Ben or Heath. He can entertain himself and he seems content on his own for a while. My patented method of getting Ben to come with me, which basically just involves me leaving the room, doesn't work as well with Sam. Sometimes he'll come running after, but sometimes he's just like, "Whatever. I wanted some privacy anyway."

It's interesting to watch how Sam changes depending on who's home. If Heath and Ben are there he runs around like a crazy person, wanting to keep up with them. But if it's just the two of us he's much calmer and quieter and more likely to focus on something.

It's exciting to think of having a kid more like me. I love Ben dearly and am amazed by the things he says and does, but our personalities clash in a lot of ways and it's very hard for me to deal with the constant talking. Just like Heath, he brings things into my life that I never would've done or seen on my own, but it'll be wonderful to have a child with whom I can just share comfortable silence.

Scorecard

It's been a hard winter in the Borders household, sickness-wise. It seems like every week or two we're getting hit with something new. Here's how it stands since October:

Ear Infections - 3: Ben (2), Sam (1)
Hand-foot-mouth virus - 3: Ben, Sam, Heath
Pink eye - 1: Ben
Various colds - 4+: Everyone, especially Heath, who had a cold for what seemed like a month.
Stomach flu - 3: Me, Sam, Ben

Heath also switched jobs in the midst of all that, so that brought stress of its own. We're all healthy right now, but the boys and I are headed down to Phoenix next Thursday to visit my parents, brother and sister-in-law, so I'm sure some new, horrible ailment will turn up before then.

Luckily, so far Heath and I have managed not to be sick at the same time. However, that does mean that we're both pretty exhausted. In March we're going to Florida with Heath's family and that should be lovely. A week of lazy days laying on the beach with lots of people around to watch my kids. Perfect.

Fall Fun

In the tree house at the park

 Pumpkin Patch

Pumpkins are very exciting!

Meeting a friend at the pumpkin patch

How do YOU carry your socks around the house?!

I always fall asleep while reading, too

Watching the workers finish our new back porch

Plants Vs. Zombies

Cutest zombie ever

Zombie and Sunflower put aside their differences

Ben can swim!

Aside from that first bath, during which he screamed the entire time, Ben has always loved water. He was one of those fearless two year olds going down the water slide by himself and jumping off the side of the pool. A few weeks ago Heath bought him a kick board, because he was showing interest in real swimming. He did great with it, kicking up a storm and moving himself across the pool. Last night he was zipping around and then all of a sudden he ditched the kick board and just... swam. Underwater. All by himself.

Our friend Katie was also at the pool and she said, "I can't believe he can swim!" We said, "We can't, either." The rest of the evening he wanted nothing to do with the kick board and he kept diving into the water and swimming. It was amazing watching him pick up such an important skill, seemingly all of a sudden.

But that's the tricky thing about parenting. It seems like it was just BAM! Suddenly he can swim. But this one is almost all Heath. He spent hours and hours with Ben at the pool, tirelessly catching him as he jumped from the side and moving back every so often, so Ben would have to put in a little more effort. Heath also would take Ben underwater and sometimes let him struggle for a second to get his own footing (which is something Heath is much better at than I am). It doesn't hurt that Ben's 3.5 feet tall, so he can easily stand up by himself in the three foot pool, but Heath helped him to not fear going under and to know how to move his body in the water.

So kudos to Heath on his parenting win!

Such a sucker

Ben: Can I watch Backyardigans?

Heath: No.

Ben: But if you don't let me watch I'll be sad. If you do let me watch I'll be happy.

Me: Ben, that's emotional blackmail.

Heath: Ben, you made a reasoned argument without whining. You can watch Backyardigans.

Snow

Yes, that is the Christmas tree.

Sam's first time in snow!

This boy won't take a morning nap in his crib, but he'll sleep 

just fine being pulled around the yard in 25 degree weather.

Ben wasn't very interested in sledding or snow angels,

but he loved pelting Daddy with snow balls!

I'm too tired to think of a witty title

When Sam was born he was 7 lbs. 8 oz. and 19.5 in. long. He had his two week check-up yesterday and here are his new stats:

Weight: 8 lbs. 4 oz. - 50th percentile
Height: 20.5 in. - 50th percentile
Head circumference: 35 cm. - 50th percentile

He grew an inch in two weeks! But he's still not as big as Ben was when he was born. I never imagined my second kid would be so much smaller than my first. Heath was a tiny kid for a long time. In fact, when we started dating in 10th grade I was taller than he was. So maybe Sam is taking after that side.

It's so interesting to see what features Sam inherited. He definitely has my nose, everyone agrees on that. His skin tone is much more like Heath's. He's not pale like Ben and me. His hair color is like mine now, although when I was born my hair was really dark, almost black. He and Ben are opposites in a lot of physical ways. Obviously Sam's still a newborn and he has to grow into his looks, but I'm not sure he and Ben are really going to look like brothers. I don't think my brothers and I look alike, either, so it doesn't bother me, but it is kind of neat when you can look at a family and really see the resemblance. Oh, well. Now instead of people making inappropriate jokes about Ben getting his hair color from the mailman, they can make inappropriate jokes about my kids' two different fathers!

Thirty weeks and counting...

I had a doctor's appointment last week and the pregnancy is going very well. All my tests are coming back saying I'm healthy, which is reassuring. I feel like I'm more nervous about the tests this time around because I know in more detail all the things that can go wrong. I'm also more nervous about labor and delivery. Last time it was a vague, unknown fear. This time I know exactly how painful it will be. It takes a lot more bravery to get pregnant a second time.

My doctor did say I'm measuring a little big for how far along I am. For those not "in the know," at this point in pregnancy they actually use a tiny tape measure on your stomach to see how big you are. At my previous appointment I was measuring spot on, so in three weeks the baby had a growth spurt. If we're still big at my next appointment I'll go in for another ultrasound. This is a little scary to me, because I don't think I ever measured "big" with Ben and he was 8 pounds 11 ounces. How much of a behemoth am I growing this time?! I assume if they determine that the baby's big I might be having him before the projected due date. I'd really rather not have a ton of medical intervention (induction, c-section). I want to see what it's like to go into labor on my own. But I also don't want a 10 pound baby. Whose vagina just tensed up a little? I can't be the only one.

I'm definitely in the third trimester now, meaning I'm starting to get really uncomfortable. Sleeping has been a problem lately and my back is not my friend. Also, the baby has settled into a comfy little position on my bladder, which basically means I feel like I have to pee all the time. Every time I tell someone I'm due around Thanksgiving they say, "Oh, that's soon!" But 2+ months is NOT soon to a pregnant woman. Especially the LAST 2+ months.

I'm also getting to that point where I'm DONE. I still have 10 weeks to go, but I'm completely over being pregnant. Poor Heath, the next 10 weeks aren't going to be fun for him, either, because I'm going to be a grouchy, complaining blob. Then again, he gets the exact same outcome as I do (a new son) without all the physical labor, so I don't feel too bad for him. (And right now he's thinking to himself, "Yeah, I know.")

He so is

Tuesday, since it wasn't 1,000 degrees outside, we had playgroup in someone's backyard and the kids played in the pool. There were various pool toys around, including three watering cans. Ben had one and Alyssa had two and they were both dumping water into the pool and into the grass. After a while Ben looked at Alyssa, pointed to her watering cans and said, "Those are mine." He didn't try to take them, he just stated that they were his. Well, being three years old, this PISSED ALYSSA OFF. You would've thought Ben insulted Dora the Explorer. So she started whining and yelled, "No, they're mine!" Apparently Ben enjoyed that reaction because he said it again, "Those are mine." Then he started giggling, because Alyssa exploded again. This went on several more times, Alyssa getting mad and Ben giggling at her reaction.

Upon hearing this story Heath said, "Ben, you are so my son."

Brothers

Most of you who read this blog already know, from phone calls and Facebook, but we're having another boy! I will admit to being a little disappointed I don't get to buy cute girls' clothes, but this way we don't have to buy any new clothes and the kids can share a room (which means a sweet Leave-Mommy-Alone room for me, eventually)!

The name discussion has begun, but there are no clear front runners yet. Heath vetoed my favorite name (Finn), but I'm not giving up the fight yet. I'll start whispering it into his ear as he sleeps, so it burrows into his subconscious. Then one day he'll wake up and say those words which he's almost physically incapable of uttering, "Katie, you were right." I'll keep you posted on my progress.

I never imagined I'd be the mother of two boys. I always pictured myself with a daughter. But life throws us curve balls and having Ben has been wonderful, so I know having As-Yet-Unnamed-Boy-2 will be wonderful, as well. And I still haven't ruled out a third child, so you never know. But if Heath's right about that one, too, I'm not sure my sanity will hold.

Oh, the irony

Considering how creative and prolific a cusser Heath is, I'm surprised this hasn't happened sooner... But this morning as I was cutting up an apple for a snack, Ben, out of nowhere started saying, "Oh, damn it. Oh, damn it. Oh, damn it."

The stupid thing is, I think he might have actually gotten that one from me. I know I've said it at least once in his presence in the recent past. How is it that Heath spouts off stuff like, "Fuckers from Hell" and yet somehow Ben's first cuss words come from me?!

21st Century Kid

Heath has been talking about getting a new iPod for a while, so I took Valentine's Day as an opportunity to buy it for him (coincidentally I also wanted something - The Sims 3 - which is why I haven't been posting very much lately... my sims need me!). His old one still worked perfectly fine, so I'm somewhat conflicted, but... Ben now has his own iPod.

It's not like we went out and bought Ben his own brand new iPod, but it still somehow seems wrong for a two and a half year old to have a personal computing device. I know I'll be running up against this problem for Ben's entire childhood. We'll have to make that decision on when he gets his own cell phone, which again seems ridiculous to me since I didn't have one until I was in college and even then I barely used it. I suppose I'm sounding like a parent. You kids today have it so great... In my day we didn't have cell phones and iPods. If we wanted to call someone we had to find a pay phone. What's a pay phone? Oh, go play Angry Birds some more.

And get off my lawn!

A rose by any other name

Lately I've been working on all our names with Ben. He has his own down, so if I ask him what his name is he says, "Ben Borders." He says my first name if I ask, though he doesn't always remember my last name. He can't remember Heath's name, though. So when I asked him this morning what Daddy's name was, Ben replied, "Ben Borders' Daddy."

Oh *&%#!

Considering the frequency with which Heath spouts obscenities, it's a wonder Ben hasn't picked up on any yet. Until Monday night.

Our ceilings are about nine feet tall and so it's a little tricky to change the bulbs in the light fixtures. Heath was doing just that and almost dropped part of it, saying in the process, "Oh, crap!" Certainly about the tamest cuss word there is, but still not something I want Ben saying out in public. But, the next thing we know out come the words from his mouth: "Oh, crap! Oh, crap! Oh, crap!" And this morning as I was putting on his shoes, "Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap!"

I didn't react to it either time, so perhaps it won't surface too often. I actually don't have a problem with him saying cuss words, once he can understand the appropriate (and inappropriate) times to say them. But at 2 he definitely lacks that understanding.

No door is closed to you

My wonderful husband has taught our son to open doors with knobs. Heath says he'd rather have Ben know how to do something and tell him not to, than not have him know how. That's easy to say when he's not the one in the house all day telling Ben not to do it.

It backfired deliciously, though. Last Friday Heath stayed home from work sick. While I was in the shower Ben took it upon himself to open our bedroom door and wake up Daddy! I must admit I felt some schadenfreude at that.

So far Ben has been very responsible with the knowledge. He's only opened the back door when we're leaving. But it worries me. We live on a fairly busy street and now it would be very easy for him to get outside and run down the driveway. Given his personality it seems unlikely he would do that, at least right now. He still has separation anxiety, obviously from Heath but from me, too, when I'm the only parent available. Even in the house he doesn't like to be in different rooms for too long. So I don't see him running outside by himself for a while, but still... The possibility is there.

The one decent point Heath had was that if I ever lock myself out of the house while Ben's still inside, he could let me back in. That has the potential to come in handy. As well as this morning when I had to wake up Heath for work. I sent Ben upstairs to wake him while I cleaned up the remains of breakfast. That was nice. But the second I find Ben outside by himself I'll be cursing Heath's name. :)

The story of the unfavored parent

Ever since Ben was old enough to have a favorite parent (around 8-9 months, maybe?), it's been Heath. Unequivocally. And I get it. He sees me all day long and Daddy's loud and energetic and fun. For a long time it didn't bother me, because it gave me a break. But after a while it started to get to me. After all, I do almost everything for him, including giving up sushi and booze for 10+ months. I know that's a ridiculous way to look at it and it's something he probably won't appreciate for 25+ years, if ever. But my brain goes there sometimes.

Then, over the summer it started getting better. He was more willing to interact with me even while Heath was around. I began to think maybe we were at the end of this phase. But come fall, the favoritism started up again WITH A VENGEANCE. It's as bad as it ever was. He does fine with me when Heath's gone, but in the evenings and on the weekends it's All Daddy. Heath can't even go to the bathroom for 2 minutes without Ben throwing a fit. And he takes shorter naps because he knows Heath's home, so he wants to play.

Luckily Heath usually doesn't mind being the center of attention all weekend. He has the stamina to keep up with Ben and I know he misses seeing him as much during the week. And while I still appreciate the break from Ben duty, it really stings when he refuses to play with me and just cries for Daddy.

This is sort of a long winded way of explaining why I've only posted one blog entry this month. We've been going through a hard time with the favoritism and I haven't felt much like blogging about the little boy who's rejecting me at every turn. He's just as cute as ever and is talking up a storm. This is just something I need to be okay with. Especially since the woman from Parents As Teachers told me that around 2.5-3 kids usually start to identify with and favor the same sex parent. Gosh, I knew Ben was smart but I didn't realize he was that ahead of the curve.

Only a few of you will understand this

The other night the three of us were driving home and Heath and I were having some inane argument. I won't get into the details, but I will say that I was obviously right and he was obviously wrong. Hey, it's my blog! :) However, as anyone who knows Heath knows, he won't stop arguing... well, ever. So he made some point which, to him, was the nail in the coffin and he said, "Pwn3d!" Then he said to Ben, "Can you say P is for Pwn3d?" And, of course, because Ben's in a serious parrot stage he said some toddler version of "P is for Pwn3d."

Heath managed to keep the car on the road, but just barely for all his whooping and celebrating.

For the uninitiated, "pwn3d" is basically an internet way of saying, "You suck. I'm right."

Family resemblance

Heath has had a beard for years and Ben's never seen him without one. So lately whenever he sees a picture of Heath pre-beard he points and says, "Todd!" (Heath's brother)

For Heath

One of Ben's favorite books is The Lorax by Dr. Seuss, so Heath couldn't resist taking this picture on Monday:

The instant I finished, I heard a ga-zump!
I looked, I saw something pop out of the stump
Of the tree I'd chopped down.  It was sort of a man.
Describe him? That's hard, I don't know if I can...

Oh, those fatherly pearls of wisdom

Yesterday morning Heath made pancakes for the second week in a row! While doing so, he jauntily said, "Ben, do you know what we say when we flip pancakes?" Now, according to Heath what he was going to say was, "Batter's up!" (Because, yes, he's that father.) However, in the process of flipping the pancake his hand brushed the very hot pan and instead what he said was, "Ow! Mother f-er!" Except he filled in that entire last word.

Now, of course I was concerned with his hand, but I have to admit that my first reaction was to LAUGH MY ASS OFF. Seriously, I had to grasp the sink to hold myself up. That was a classic Borders Family Moment.