Hope

Today, while reading an article about a New Yorker's experience on September 11, 2001, the thought struck me: Will Ben learn about 9/11 today? Do they talk about it with kindergartners?

We've never told him, because there's never been a reason. We weren't personally affected by it and it's not exactly a conversation you have with a 3 year old.

But it got me thinking... Ben lives in a pretty nice world right now. He lives in a world without 9/11 and assassinations and Nazis and slavery and all the other atrocities committed throughout human history. But he's going to learn about those things, and probably very soon. If not this year then maybe next. And I want him to learn about them, and think critically about them and become a knowledgeable human being... But... It's just hard imagining my children learning about those things.

Ben's not nearly as sensitive to stimuli as I am, but I remember in 8th grade when we did a whole unit on WWII it was pretty emotional for me. I couldn't - and still can't, really - believe that people would do such unthinkable things for, what? Power? It makes absolutely NO sense to me. And the idea of my children feeling that hurt for people who died long ago... Well, I was going to say I didn't want them to feel that pain, but maybe I do. I want them to be empathetic people, but unfortunately that does mean taking on a lot of pain that's not directly your own.

There are hard conversations in our parenting future and while I don't love the idea of my childrens' innocence being shattered by the reality of how horrible people can be, I do relish the idea that I get to explain how we can be better than that.

Dear Ben,

This year, your fifth, has been an emotional roller coaster. In contrast to your fourth year, when everyday was up and down, up and down, this year the ups and downs have been in weeks. So for a few weeks you'd be the best kid I could imagine. Kind, helpful, funny, creative, thoughtful, mature, obedient. I'd feel like the best mother. And then it would switch and suddenly for a few weeks you were beastly: Yelling, slamming doors, refusing to listen. Those weeks were tough. The good news is that you generally save that behavior for Dad and me. At school, with babysitters, with family you're well behaved and respectful. Only one time in two years of school have you gotten a bad report and your teacher was SO SURPRISED.

The most exciting thing from this past year is that you're learning to read and write at an amazing clip. Just a couple weeks ago you made a card for a friend's birthday and you sounded out "Happy Birthday" almost all by yourself. I'm in awe of your curiosity and voracious need to learn new things. Both will serve you so well in the years to come.

One of the most fun things about your emerging personality is that you're definitely picking up on Dad's and my geekiness. Video games are a favorite of yours. You love making up stories about zombies and dragons. You even wore your wizard hat to the Renaissance Faire. At first it freaked you out a little that people kept talking to you, but after a while when someone would say, "Are you a wizard?" you'd proudly say yes. And when Dad and I brought you home Catan Jr. from Gen Con, you have no idea how excited and proud we were by how quickly you picked up the game.

The biggest milestone this year (to me) was your first Weird Al concert. I was so excited, but at first I wasn't sure I'd made the right decision, taking you so young. It started close to bed time and you seemed tired. When Al came out on stage you just seemed perplexed by all the lights and how loud it was. You said you'd had fun, but I wasn't so sure. However, the very next day you started asking for your iPod to listen to Weird Al. And now all you ever request in the car is Weird Al. And when we hear original songs in public you say, "This is Weird Al!" So even though you have absolutely no context for the jokes or parodies, I've succeeded in making you a Weird Al fan.

The most poignant milestone this year was taking the training wheels off your bike. It just seems to completely symbolize you growing up. Now you have your own transportation and you can (almost) completely balance yourself on your own. It's scary and thrilling to have you becoming more independent. It makes my heart ache a little, but it's also what's supposed to happen.

You're getting to the sweet spot of childhood. Those handful of years where you're old enough to be somewhat self-sufficient, you can do stuff that's fun for us and you still want to hang out with the family. In a couple more years Sam will be in the sweet spot with you and I think the four of us are going to have a lot of fun. I'm so looking forward to the next half-dozen years with you. You're turning into someone I genuinely want to hang out with and I'm so proud to be your mother.

Happy birthday, Ben!

I love you,
Mom

Reading Rainbow

Ben is starting to read! It's really amazing to watch because we haven't been pushing him to read. We've taught him the letter sounds and how to sound out words, but it's mostly coming from him. He's asking to learn all these things and he's figuring it out on his own, too. Recently we walked past a pizza restaurant and Ben said, "Pizza!" Immediately I started scanning the windows for a picture of pizza, but there wasn't one. Other than the word, there was no indication that it was a pizza restaurant. He freaking read it! I'm guessing he had seen the word previously and memorized it and didn't sound it out on the spot, but that's a big part of reading, especially in English. He's using context clues, too, because he reads "open" on store windows a lot. These are all great skills and though I know he's smart, I'm still surprised he's learning them so young.

Reading is the most important thing Ben will learn and since I love reading it's very exciting to me that's he's so enthusiastic about it. Once he can read, the entire world will be open to him... But it's also terrifying because the entire world will be open to him. He'll be able to read anything, whether I want him to or not. And of course that's part of growing up... It's just a big leap forward.

He's only four and a half and barely reading, but you know me. I like to worry about things in the future that I can't change. I just wonder how I'm going to handle situations like this: We were at the mall and passed one of those kiosks selling stuff and they had a row of belts that all said, "I (heart) boobies." Ben asked what it said and I just mumbled something about it being silly. A year from now he'll probably be able to read it himself, but he won't really know what it means so he'll ask me. I'll want to explain how it's disrespectful to women, but will he really understand? I guess it doesn't matter. I should just prepare myself for lots of awkward conversations.

The State of Ben (at 4.5 years)

Ben is discovery. A few weeks ago he was painting while I washed dishes and all of a sudden he exclaimed, "Mom! Come look at this!" I went over and he said, "When I mixed red and yellow it made ORANGE!" He was so in awe and proud of that discovery that it was impossible for me not to share his excitement. He stumbled upon this essential fact of life and he UNDERSTOOD that it was important. It was amazing to witness that moment.

Ben is sweet. A couple months ago we were talking about sign language and I showed Ben the sign for "I love you." So now, randomly, he'll call out, "Mom!" Then he'll show me that sign.

Ben is jealous. Because Ben goes to preschool three days a week I have a fair amount of time alone with Sam and not much time alone with Ben. And since Ben can accomplish most simple tasks on his own I have to help Sam more than him. It's not going unnoticed. There's a certain amount of "You're a big boy and Sam's still little. He can't do things on his own like you can," that calms Ben, but after a while that just doesn't cut it. That's when Ben starts grunting and making noises instead of words and crawling on the floor. I've recently started making more of an effort to have Ben and Mommy time.

Ben is obsessed. I have this habit of becoming obsessed with media. Books, movies, music, games... At one point I've been obsessed with all of them. Ben seems to have inherited that trait, though only for games so far. First it was Angry Birds, then Plants vs. Zombies, then watching Heath play Portal. Now he's OBSESSED with playing Super Mario Brothers Wii. This makes Heath very happy.

Ben is fun. He's finally to an age where we can start doing things fun for kids and adults. Heath has taken him golfing and indoor rock climbing. I've taken him to movies and musicals and the art museum. He can ride some roller coasters and bigger rides. He's almost to an age where we can start playing better board games. I can't wait until all four of us can genuinely enjoy activities together.

Communication 101

One of the hard things about caring for a baby is not being able to communicate in any significant way. The only way for him to get his point across is crying, which is super annoying for the parents. Now that Sam's a full-fledged toddler we're making some strides in that department. He's to the point where he understands a lot of what we say. So if I say "milk" he looks at the refrigerator and if I say, "Do you want to turn the light on?" (one of his favorite activities at the moment) he looks at the light switch. Sometimes if I ask him to do something ("Come here," "Hand me the fork," "STOP!") he'll even do it. It's awesome!

He's not talking yet, though he's starting to parrot some of the sounds I make. The first I noticed was "All done!" He says something that sounds remarkably like it (to me), but there's no meaning behind it yet. He says it all the time, even when he's obviously not "all done." But even without real words, he's definitely communicating. He'll grunt and point at the bananas when he wants one (which is all the time), he'll try to lunge from my arms when he wants to get down, he'll stand by my legs and lift his arms when he wants to get up. Again, it's awesome.

We're also to that less-awesome toddler stage of EVERYTHING NEEDS TO BE ON THE FLOOR NOW! Drawers and shelves aren't safe. Not that we have much of anything on shelves anymore. The lone surviving bookshelf in the house is in our bedroom and I have to monitor it very closely when Sam's in the room. I said, "Those are Mommy's books. Mommy's books stay on the shelf." about 1,000 times this morning while I was getting dressed. And since I still can't trust Sam in the house by himself while I shower he pulls every last towel off the shelf in the bathroom EVERY SINGLE DAY.

The good thing with second kids is that you have concrete evidence that it's just a phase. Ben doesn't pull my nicely folded towels off the shelf anymore. He can even put books BACK onto shelves now (though ability has no connection to willingness). It's still not fun to put towels away after every shower, but I can breathe and know that eventually it will end.

Readin' and writin'

For the last few months Ben has been very interested in what things say. Every car ride is a constant chorus of, "What does that sign say? What does that sign say?" So Heath and I have taken that as a signal of readiness for reading. Though both of us loved school and emphasize learning we don't try to cram lessons down Ben's throat. But when he shows genuine interest in a subject we jump on it.

He already knew a lot of the letter sounds (Thanks, Super Why!), so we've been working on those and showing him how the sounds go together to create words. He seems to be getting it a little bit. He's not reading on his own by any means, but he did read a word! He asked where we were going that day, so I wrote ZOO on the board in his room. I was just about to say, "What sound does Z make?" when he said, "Z... oo!" I think it helped that the day before I had written BOO on the board and explained that two "O"s make the ooooooo sound. And he remembered! How amazing is that?

Ben's also getting a lot better at writing letters. He can reliably write his name (though sometimes the N is backwards and he can get a little overzealous with the lines on the E). The other day he told me he wanted to write "Cat in the Hat." So we got out the notebook, I told him the letters and he wrote them all down. Just today his teacher said he worked with one of their student teachers and wrote down the lyrics to a song they sing. I'm so proud of how hard he's working to master these skills and that it's all coming from his own interest.

Totally negligent mommy

Sam turned 9 months old last week and I totally forgot to post about it. This is why second and middle children are always so f-ed up (I'm picturing Ian frowning). Sam's new stats:

Weight: 22 lbs. 5 oz. - 90th percentile
Height: 29 1/4" - 85th percentile
Head circumference: 46 cm - 75th percentile

Everywhere we go people always comment on how big Sam is... But he's a full pound lighter than Ben was at SIX MONTHS, so he doesn't seem big to me. My back, knees and shoulders beg to differ, but my biceps are awesome.

I've been saying Sam is thisclose to crawling for over a month. I really thought he'd be full-out crawling by now. He does this thing where he's on one knee and his other leg is straight out to the side and he sort of pulls himself for a short distance. It's somewhat crawling in that he's moving himself a little bit, but he's not going any significant distance. Mostly he just ninjas out to get whatever he wants and then goes back to sitting. If he can't reach it that way, it's dead to him.

His "talking" seems to be getting more sophisticated. I can't exactly explain what I mean, except to say that it sounds more like he's really "saying" something. Like what's coming out of his mouth has meaning for him. His curiosity has also exploded. Anything we put in front of him will be subjected to a full examination which includes turning it over, banging it on the table and putting it in his mouth. We're at that stage where, in a restaurant the three feet of table around the baby is empty, except for Cheerio's.

Sam remains a content, cheerful little boy. Even with the 5:30-6:00am wake ups every morning we really can't complain.

Soooooooo Heath's son

I've been feeling very trapped in the house lately. Ben and I are both a little frustrated, being subject to Sam's napping whims. So Thursday when Sam woke up from his afternoon nap waaay earlier than I'd expected, I decided to take the boys to Shoe Carnival. Normally, taking the two of them shopping in any capacity is something I hate and dread, so you can see how anxious I was to get out of the house.

I needed a new pair of work out shoes, so that was my main objective, but of course they were having a "Buy one, get one half off sale" (when are they NOT?), so we spent a little more time in the store than I'd planned. However, despite that, both the boys were very good. Normally Ben likes to run up and down aisles, mess with merchandise and make incoherent noises VERY LOUDLY. But this time he pretty much stayed with me and entertained Sam (double win!).

Since it isn't exactly something I get to say on a daily basis, I praised Ben pretty heavily as we left the store. "You were very good in the store. You didn't run around or yell or mess with things. I really appreciate it."

Without missing a beat Ben says to me, "Can I have a Popsicle when we get home?"

Post Title

I've been neglecting my duties as a blogger lately. I haven't been feeling very chatty and I made the mistake of looking at some posts from when Ben was 6-8 months old, to compare what I was writing about him. The actual reading of the posts wasn't a mistake, because I got to experience the awe all over again of just how much Sam looks like Ben. If it wasn't for the hair colors I wouldn't be able to tell their baby pictures apart. No, the mistake was seeing that I used to post FIVE TO SIX TIMES A WEEK! These days I feel good if I make that many posts in a month. It kind of makes me want to smack my past self for feeling like I had no time for anything.

So, here's a semi-stream of consciousness post about what we've been doing. This week Sam's been teething and it sucks as much as it ever did. The boy who's been sleeping through the night perfectly for months has been waking up at odd hours all week. We really can't get mad at him since, like I said, he's been sleeping through the night perfectly for months and at this point in his life Ben wasn't even sleeping through the night PERIOD, BUT... it's still no fun waking up at 1:15am and then again at 5:45am.

Ben has been in day camp for 5 weeks and today was his last day. He already knew a bunch of the kids there, so he had a lot of fun. Today when I told him it was the last day he asked, "Now does school start?" He was a bit disappointed that he still has a month before school. Even though the idea of him being home all day, every day is daunting now that I'm not used to it, I'm also glad he's not in camp all summer. He obviously loves doing organized activities like that, but I think it's good to just have unorganized (or as unorganized as I can be) fun, too. We'll see how I feel next week.

I'm looking forward to this weekend because I'm unintentionally having a kid-free Saturday. I have Zumba from 9-10am, then I have a glass-blowing class from 12-4pm and then I'm meeting some friends for dinner and a movie at 5:15pm. All three things just fell together on the same day. Normally I don't like a day that's that full, but I've been feeling very trapped in the house lately, so the idea of being out so much is exciting.

Sam isn't crawling yet, but I'm hoping he starts soon. It's funny, because all the things I sort of dreaded with Ben - crawling, walking, climbing, potty training, giving up naps - I'm actually looking forward to with Sam. I've seen how all those milestones made my life easier and I can't wait for my life to be easier again. At least physically. As the physical labor goes down, the mental and emotional labor goes up, but I'm better at that stuff. And while Ben is still in the terrible threes (worse than the twos by a long shot), I keep catching small glimpses that he might start calming down a bit when he's four. He still usually freaks out when he doesn't get his way, but occasionally he'll just accept what I say and move on. And he's starting to be able to delay gratification, which means now it sometimes WORKS when I say, "If you're a good boy in the store you can have a Popsicle when we get home." A little bit of logic is starting to seep into his brain, which is AMAZING. It's natural for an adult to want to use logic with a child, but they just don't get it when they're so young. To be able to utilize it is amazing. And even though he technically "doesn't nap" anymore, he stills put himself down for a nap a few times a week. He'll even tell me, "I'm tired so I'm going to take a nap during Quiet Time." It's actually easier to get him to take a nap now that he "doesn't nap." Sometimes his maturity astounds me, and I try to remember those times when he collapses in a heap of whining and crying because he doesn't want to brush his teeth.

Well, I think that's enough rambling for today. Have a good weekend!

Perfectionism

In so many ways Ben is a Little Heath. They have similar temperaments and similar interests. However, every so often I see evidence that he's my son, too (aside from the fact that he CAME OUT OF ME). Ben has always been a very meticulous kid. He likes to line things up just so and if you mess with something he's organized he gets very perturbed. That is so me.

Lately it's been turning into perfectionism. He was drawing on his Magna Doodle and I noticed that one of the shapes he made looked like an uppercase "D." I pointed it out and asked if he wanted to try to draw it again. He did it a few more times and did it pretty well. So I asked if he wanted to learn other letters and he said "E". He did that one okay and then he asked to learn how to write "Ben." I was getting pretty excited because I was teaching him something and he was interested in learning. "N" went okay, but it all broke down with "B." Admittedly, it's a hard letter to write, with the two bumps, but when he couldn't do it perfectly the first time he got SO MAD. (That's more Heath than me. I'll usually give it a few tries before I want to give up.) He said, "I'm not good at this!" So we had our first talk about practicing and getting better. The interesting thing is that he didn't want to give up. He wanted to get it right. He tried it a few more times, but he was getting really frustrated so I made him stop.

I'm sad that he has this burden of perfectionism, because it's a hard road to travel, but it's a trait Heath and I both share so he had little chance of avoiding it. But at least this means he'll probably be a hard worker in school. I'd much rather make a kid stop studying and goof off than have to fight him to do homework every night.

A mind of his own

As I say frequently on this blog, it's amazingly fun watching who Ben becomes. Well, in the past couple months I feel like he's taken a leap forward in that journey. Until recently pretty much everything he's said is something he heard someone else say. He might add or subtract a few words, or put his own spin on it, but he was mostly parroting ideas from other people. But now... he's starting to get his own ideas. He's making connections that, as far as I know, he's never heard verbalized. After years of him not speaking and then barely speaking and then only parroting, to hear him spew forth his own opinions is weird. It's awesome and amazing, but it's hard to wrap my mind around at first. I guess we'll now be moving into that phase where he says all kinds of bizarre things. As Heath said, "He's getting delightfully weird."

Ben the Manipulator - Part 2

Lately Ben is starting to grasp the concept of emotional manipulation. Whenever I reprimand him he immediately tries to cute it up so I won't be mad. His main weapon: saying in the sweetest voice, "Hi, Mommy." So, we have a lot of conversations like this:

"Ben, don't pull Minnie's tail."
"Hi, Mommy."

"Ben, don't throw toys."
"Hi, Mommy."

The thing is, he keeps saying it until I respond, "Hi, Ben." To him that signals the diffusing of the situation. So if I'm actually mad and refuse to answer, what I get is:

"Hi, Mommy.... Hi, Mommy.... Hi, Mommy. Hi, Mommy. Hi, Mommy. HI, MOMMY!"

Eventually, if I don't answer he gets mad and throws a fit. Now, the following analogy is bound to offend someone, but I think it's somewhat fitting. The relationship of a toddler and parent is not unlike the relationship of an abuser and abused spouse. The abused spouse (i.e. the parent) doesn't want to do anything to set off the abuser (i.e. the toddler), because the abused spouse knows that will just mean more trouble for her. So I usually end up giving in and replying, "Hi, Ben," because it's such a stupid thing to have a tantrum over.

This will be funny if he becomes a mathematician

Heath has been working on numbers with Ben. So when they're playing they're always counting things. Heath will say the numbers and Ben will repeat some of them. And when Heath gets to 10 he always says, "Yea!"

Last night I was giving Ben a bath and he has letters and numbers that stick to the side of the bath. So I was grabbing ones that floated by, sticking them to the side and saying what they were. At one point I grabbed eight and then Ben said, "Eight, nine, 10, Yea!" Then he started repeating, "Ten, yea! Ten, yea!"

Wave of the future, wave of the future, wave of the future...

I remember when I was younger sitting down at the computer to write and popping in a CD before I started. I'd hear the notes of the first song and then seemingly only minutes would go by and I'd hear the CD end. I was concentrating so intensely I didn't even hear the music.

Heath told me a similar story about himself. In elementary school his class went down to the library. He picked out his book and then sat down to read while waiting for everyone else. Some time later he looked up and the library was deserted. He walked back to class, where the teacher informed him they'd called his name and even touched him to get his attention, but he never noticed.

Given that, it's no surprise to me that Ben has inherited the same type of focus. Sure, sometimes he has the attention span of a gnat, but other times he concentrates so strongly it's amazing. He has a small, plastic train that came with several Little People figures, a tiger, giraffe and zookeeper. I've seen him play with that train and those figures for up to an hour and all he does is put the tiger in one car, put the giraffe in another and put the zookeeper in the smoke stack. Then he looks at them for a second and he moves them around to different spots. For an hour. An hour in toddler time is like a day in adult time (and often it feels like a day to me).

He's also incredibly meticulous. Lately a lot of his playing has involved lining up toys or arranging them in a specific way. One day I found that he'd taken Heath's and my sneakers and put them all in a very straight line. They were so neat I couldn't believe he'd done it, aside from the fact that they were lined up on a dining room chair. That's not normally where we leave our sneakers.

Fears about having an OCD child aside, it's exciting to finally start seeing some of my traits shine through Ben. Heath and I feel like we're on the edge of OCD ourselves, anyway. I wonder if you can buy family packs of Prozac at Sam's?

Bookish

Ben is obsessed with books. Over his lifetime we've amassed a collection of 100+ books for him, mostly board books. However, a few weeks ago he decided that board books were sooooo 11 months old. Since then he's only been interested in the few paper books we have. He's besotted with Dr. Seuss, especially The Cat in the Hat Comes Back and Green Eggs and Ham. They're really too long for him, because half the time he can't sit through the story and just wants to turn the pages, but he won't read anything else.

When we got home from Hawaii I unpacked the books he'd taken to Oma and Opa's, which included his two favorites. When I handed them to him he nearly vibrated with joy. Immediately he plopped down in my lap to read but it was like Sophie's Choice. I waited for him to set one down and he didn't. He just kept looking back and forth between them. When I asked, "Do you want to read Green Eggs and Ham?" he said, "Nonononononono." When I asked, "Do you want to read The Cat in the Hat Comes Back?" he said, "Nonononononono." He desperately wanted to read them both, but he wasn't willing to put down either of them, lest it be whisked away again. Finally after about 5 minutes (literally) he gingerly put The Cat in the Hat Comes Back on the floor and we read Green Eggs and Ham. It was a tough day.

My Little Einstein

Last night I had one of those moments that make people want to be stay-at-home parents. For a couple weeks I've been trying to teach Ben some of his body parts. I started with head, nose, tummy and feet, because those were pretty obvious and easy to delineate. I'd say, "Ben, where's your head?" Then I'd put my or his hands on his head. Then I'd put my hands on my own head.

You can probably guess what's coming. Last night I asked, "Ben, where's your head?" Before I could move he deliberately put his own hands on his own head. I actually teared up. It was so amazing to watch him do something I'd taught him. And my joy was only slightly dampened when I asked, "Ben, where's your nose?" and he put his hands on his head again. One step at a time.

Who's training whom?

Last night Heath's parents came over for dinner and we had a nice visit with them. Ben's always a little wary at first when they come over, because they often babysit him. He thinks when he sees them we're going to leave. But we didn't and I was happy that by the end of the evening he'd presented books to both of them, demanding to be read to.

Ben had already eaten dinner by the time we got our pizza, so he sat in his highchair for a little while and ate crust, but eventually I let him out before we were finished. He circled the table doing his various weird Ben things, and then he started clapping. Well, when he clapped everyone else clapped. So he started testing us. Will they clap if I stand here? What about here? Wow, these people are all at my command!

Admittedly, getting adults to clap isn't exactly like having your finger on the button. However, he's starting to realize he can influence people's behavior. Let's see what comes of this!

That's what I said

Let's see... What's Ben been up to lately? He's discovered squealing and screaming. Whenever I get out our Wii remotes to play Animal Crossing (a very cartoon-y video game) he SCREAMS in delight. He squeals at the top of his lungs when he sees the cats. It's all happy and cute, but it can be disconcerting.

He's not talking yet, at least not in any language we can understand. He's very proficient in toddler-ese. A couple people have commented they thought he said "dog" or "cat," but I don't know. He is definitely understanding more and more of what we say, though. I can say, "Ben do you want some milk?" and he'll go over to the refrigerator. Or I'll tell him to pick out a book to read before his nap and he'll bring one to me. And even though he's not saying words, he's still making his wants and needs pretty clear through gestures. It's very exciting to be able to communicate with him through ways other than crying. It's like every so often we get this peek at who he's becoming and I love it.

But they're so delicious, Mommy!

Yesterday morning as I put on my sneakers to go to the gym I described to Ben what I was doing.

"Mommy's putting on her socks, just like we put on your socks earlier. They keep your feet warm. Now I'm putting on my shoes so we can go outside."

It sounds inane, but supposedly it helps toddlers learn speech. So, after I was done I said something like, "Ben can you get your shoes?" I wasn't actually expecting him to do anything, but he toddled over to the shoe cubby and stopped. It seemed like he was thinking. Then he bent down, pulled one of his sneakers out and handed it to me. It was amazing. I didn't even use a hand gesture to indicate what I meant. He just did it based on my words. It wasn't a coincidence, either, because we repeated the same scenario later in the day with the same results. This could really come in handy!

I probably shouldn't be surprised he knows the word "shoe." One of his favorite activities is to pull the shoes out of the cubby holes and carry them around the house. I say the phrase, "Ben, don't eat shoes!" multiple times a day.

Rules were made to be broken

A few weeks ago when I went to the first of my many dentist appointments this month, my mom watched Ben. I had to leave before he woke from his morning nap, so I was afraid he might freak out when he discovered I wasn't there. However, Mom said he was fine and even smiled at her. For some reason she's always surprised that he likes her, despite the fact that she lavishes attention and presents on him.

After lunch they were playing in the living room and smarty pants Ben decided he would test some boundaries. We don't allow him to touch the fireplace*, but Mom didn't know that. So he approached and started banging on it. Then every few seconds he would stop and look at her, to check her reaction. When he wasn't reprimanded he would bang away in joy. Mom said when he looked back at her he had a twinkle in his eye, because he knew he was getting away with something. I suppose that was his first lesson in how to manipulate his grandparents. Step 1: Be cute. Step 3: Profit!

However, Mommy and Daddy aren't so easily persuaded. The fireplace rule persists, but that doesn't stop Ben from testing it. He knows his hands are off limits, but what about toys? Can he bang toys on the fireplace? Nope, apparently not. How about a ladle? Okay, no. A stuffed animal? Wow, still no? How about if I lick it, is that okay? No? Come on! You guys are total fascists!

Heath delights in Ben's creativity and craftiness and I have to admit it is amusing. He's already applying the scientific method to his life. One day he will crack the code of the fireplace!


*It's a gas fireplace which is totally enclosed, so he couldn't actually hurt himself on it, but we don't want him in the habit of playing with fireplaces.