Freaky...

So, as an addendum to my post about wanting Sam to like me better than Heath, I have some evidence to back up my (hopeful) claim. Here's some SCIENCE:

Heath was born June 2nd and Ben was born September 2nd. Obviously being born on the 2nd of the month has drawn them together.

Now get ready to have your minds blown...

I was born September 14th and Sam was born November 14th.

IT'S GONNA HAPPEN, PEOPLE!

He's soooo Heath's son

Scene: Ben and I are watching PBS Kids and they mention "picnics."

Me: When it gets warmer we can start having picnics again.

Ben: With our friends?

Me: Yeah!

Ben: I have picnics with people at my work.

Me: Where do you work?

(Pause)

Ben: At the Apple store.

Playing favorites

Fairly recently my mother reminded me about one of my biggest complaints in childhood. I had actually forgotten about it, but as a kid it always really bothered me that I didn't have a "partner" in our family. My parents had each other. My brothers had each other. I felt left out.

Remembering that feeling made me realize that I was feeling the same thing watching Ben favor Heath all these years. I've felt left out of my own family. And having to take care of a newborn 24-7 hasn't been winning me popularity points with Ben. When we first brought Sam home Ben reverted back to his worst bout of favoritism. He wanted absolutely nothing to do with me, to the point of crying even when Heath just went to the bathroom. As he's getting more used to our "new normal" it's gone back to an almost tolerable level of favoritism, but it still stings. Especially since I can't spend one-on-one time with him while Heath's at work anymore.

It makes total sense that Ben would favor Heath. Heath has more energy, he's loud and fun and he sings silly songs all the time. Ben and Heath also have a lot of similar interests and a similar mindset. I'm reserved and prefer reading or coloring or playing quiet games to running around like a crazy person (which is often what Ben and Heath do). I think (and hope) that I'll be the one Ben turns to when he needs quiet in his life, but I really can't imagine a time when I'll be his favorite.

And that's where it gets tough for Sam, because I'm really hoping he's "mine." I know it's a possibility that he'll gravitate toward Heath... But I'm openly and un-apologetically stating that I want him to be an introvert and prefer me. It's completely unfair to put those hopes on him, but I'm already the odd one out because I'm female. I don't want to be the only introvert and the un-favored parent in the family, too.


Sam's only seven weeks old and he doesn't even recognize us on sight yet, so I still have a few months before he could even feasibly pick a favorite. And who knows, he might not pick one. Not all kids do and some go back and forth during different phases of their life. But if he picks Heath it's going to be very tough for me.

Every Mother's Wish

One afternoon this week Ben, Sam and I were sitting in the living room and Ben was regaling us with stories about his trains, while pushing them around the track. Sam was relatively happy and alert, having just been fed, and I noticed something. Whenever he could see Ben, he watched him as long as he could. Ben would walk into his sight line, pushing James along the track, and Sam would crane his neck to keep watching Ben. After a while he would get a little upset until Ben came back into view. Is it possible that the little brother adoration has already started?

That makes me very happy. Even after Heath and I are gone, Ben and Sam will have each other and it's so awesome to be watching the very beginning of that bond. Believe me, I realize that they won't always get along. Ian and I fought like hell when we were kids and if there's any karma that should come back and bite me in the ass, it's the sibling rivalry karma. But not all siblings fight incessantly. Maybe we'll be lucky!

Another Christmas present!

Sam smiled at me for the first time today! Taking care of a newborn is a grind, but that's one of the rewards.

I got my Christmas present early!

Last night Sam slept from 10pm-5am.

I'll give you a moment to let that sink in.

Holy shit! He's only five weeks old! Ben didn't sleep through the night once until he was five months old, and then he didn't do it again for four more months. So you can understand why this is so amazing and perplexing to me. I'd hoped for something like this to happen, but never dreamed it actually would.

Who knows if this will be a permanent state. But seven hours of sleep IN A ROW? I feel like the luckiest girl in the world.

Picture round up

 So cute!

This is my new computer desktop background.

Same as last year, the best of a mediocre bunch.

I have about a million shots of them together. I can't resist!

I don't care if I'm biased, we managed to create another gorgeous boy.

From the looks on their faces you'd think we were about to 

make them eat brussel sprouts, not shower them in gifts.

You should see the cougar!

Scene: Ben noticed the long, purple stretch marks that now cover my stomach from hip to hip.

Ben: Those are claw marks!

Sickness update

Ben's surgery on Monday went very well. They took him to the OR at 8:30am and by 8:45 the doctor was back telling us it went fine. We were home by 10:30! He was pretty out of it all morning, but by the afternoon he was bouncing around and back to his usual self. Hopefully this will mean a lot fewer trips to the doctor this winter.

Ben's been on ear drops, eye drops and antibiotics all week (plus some Tylenol after his surgery), but I'm happy to report that by this evening we will be DONE with all his medications. I'm not against medication by any means, but I also hate putting that much stuff in his body at once. Especially since he hated the eye drops and is only slightly less hostile toward the ear drops.

I'm also glad to say that he's been more pleasant in general this week, I assume because he's not feeling so sick. Heath's going back to work on Monday and while I'm partially terrified of how I'm going to handle a newborn and a three year old by myself all day, I think we're all eager to get back to our normal routine. I'm hoping Ben's moods will even out a little once we're out of this limbo period.

I wish I was Jewish so I could say, "Oy Vey."

Sam will be three weeks old tomorrow. In that time Ben has suffered from the following ailments:

-A rash from head to toe, which turned out to be an allergic reaction to some medication.
-A constant cough and runny nose.
-An ear infection.
-And... PINK EYE. He came home from school last Wednesday and I saw some goop in the corner of his eye. Some more seeped out within minutes and my stomach sank, because I knew what it meant. For those not in the know, pink eye is extremely contagious, so there's been some serious hand washing and hand sanitizing going on in the house. Plus, we've had to keep Ben from touching Sam, which sucks because Ben wants to hug and kiss and help feed his brother and I definitely want to encourage that. But we can't risk Sam catching anything. Luckily he's shown no signs of being sick and Ben's eye drops have his eyes looking much better.

In addition to all this, Ben is scheduled for ear tube surgery tomorrow. I feel like we're being tested. Just how much shit can we take before one of us flees to Mexico? I'm sure I'm overreacting. There's been more than one (or two... or three) crying sessions on my part in the last three weeks, and I know it's mostly due to hormonal changes and sleep deprivation. But seriously, isn't bringing home a second kid enough stress, without adding all the medical drama on top of it?

Everyone I've talked to says the surgery is no big deal. It literally takes 10-15 minutes and he can go to school the next day. It's going to be for the best, because now he shouldn't be getting ear infections every five minutes from October to March. I just wish we didn't have to do it three weeks after I gave birth. I predict more crying in my future.