Brothers

They say you have your first child for yourself and your second child for your first child. In a way I think that's totally true and watching Ben and Sam's relationship blossom has been really fun.

Unfortunately for Ben, right now Sam's not the best playmate. We call him Wreck-It Sam because while Ben loves to build, Sam currently loves to knock things down. Sometimes that's ok, because Ben will build towers specifically for Sam to knock over. But, of course, sometimes Ben's really into building a rocket out of Duplos or constructing a train track and Sam, the tornado of destruction, comes through and destroys everything. Ben's not so happy at those moments and I don't blame him... But there's a small part of me that gets schadenfreude from it because that's exactly what it was like when Ben came into our lives. I don't even remember what it's like to have bookcases or shelves full of things I enjoy. It will still be YEARS before I feel comfortable having our (rather extensive) game collection within easy reach. So I don't feel too bad for Ben when Sam wrecks his creations, especially when I've told him REPEATEDLY if he wants Sam to stay away from it he needs to do it in his room or at the table.

Ok, I'm getting off-topic... I think in a year or two, once Sam can really run and is actually able to participate in building AND destroying, he and Ben are going to have a lot of fun. But I'm so impressed with how good Ben is with Sam already. Yes, there is toy stealing and pushing and yelling sometimes. But there's also lots of hugging and kissing and snack sharing. This morning Ben heard Sam waking up and while I was in the bathroom he went into Sam's room of his own volition and was giving Sam toys in his crib. He protects Sam from other kids and tries to include him in games at home. It's really sweet.

I find having two kids this young very hard sometimes (most of the time), but I'm glad they have each other.

World's Best Brother

Even though we had a pretty rocky start, with sickness and moodiness, I'm so happy and proud with the way Ben has adjusted to Sam's presence. Even in the very beginning he never took his negative feelings out on Sam. Ben has loved him right from the start.

At first he liked helping us wash out the bottles, but that ended pretty quickly. However, he hugs and kisses Sam all the time, tells him, "It'll be okay, Sam," when he's crying and introduces Sam to his various toys. Naturally there are still times when he feels jealous and tells us to put Sam down and play with him. I've tried to explain to Ben that after he wakes up from his nap and Sam's still sleeping, that's the time I can give him my full attention. He hasn't quite grasped that concept yet, though, and always asks to watch TV during that time. Then later he gets mad when I can't play trains because I have to feed Sam. We're working on it.

The cutest thing happened a few weekends ago, when we took them both to the YMCA nursery for the first time. Apparently the entire time they were in there Ben was protecting Sam and telling the other kids not to touch him. He's looking out for his little brother.

Every Mother's Wish

One afternoon this week Ben, Sam and I were sitting in the living room and Ben was regaling us with stories about his trains, while pushing them around the track. Sam was relatively happy and alert, having just been fed, and I noticed something. Whenever he could see Ben, he watched him as long as he could. Ben would walk into his sight line, pushing James along the track, and Sam would crane his neck to keep watching Ben. After a while he would get a little upset until Ben came back into view. Is it possible that the little brother adoration has already started?

That makes me very happy. Even after Heath and I are gone, Ben and Sam will have each other and it's so awesome to be watching the very beginning of that bond. Believe me, I realize that they won't always get along. Ian and I fought like hell when we were kids and if there's any karma that should come back and bite me in the ass, it's the sibling rivalry karma. But not all siblings fight incessantly. Maybe we'll be lucky!