World's Best Brother

Even though we had a pretty rocky start, with sickness and moodiness, I'm so happy and proud with the way Ben has adjusted to Sam's presence. Even in the very beginning he never took his negative feelings out on Sam. Ben has loved him right from the start.

At first he liked helping us wash out the bottles, but that ended pretty quickly. However, he hugs and kisses Sam all the time, tells him, "It'll be okay, Sam," when he's crying and introduces Sam to his various toys. Naturally there are still times when he feels jealous and tells us to put Sam down and play with him. I've tried to explain to Ben that after he wakes up from his nap and Sam's still sleeping, that's the time I can give him my full attention. He hasn't quite grasped that concept yet, though, and always asks to watch TV during that time. Then later he gets mad when I can't play trains because I have to feed Sam. We're working on it.

The cutest thing happened a few weekends ago, when we took them both to the YMCA nursery for the first time. Apparently the entire time they were in there Ben was protecting Sam and telling the other kids not to touch him. He's looking out for his little brother.

Sharing

This morning when I went to pick Ben up in the YMCA nursery he was fully engrossed in trying to shove small cars into a plastic barn. The work of a toddler is never done, right? So I was expecting a fit when I tried to put his sweater on; however, when I told him it was time to go and he had to put the car down he stood up, walked over to another little girl and handed her the car he'd been playing with. It was so sweet I thought I'd melt on the spot.

He also shared with his friend Amelia the other day at the mall. We were in the play area and Amelia's mom was trying to get her to eat some cheese, because she'd refused to eat lunch. Ben was snacking on Goldfish crackers and though I wasn't giving any to Amelia, in motherly solidarity, Ben kept slipping them to her. That was also very sweet, though it's hard to believe they're already ganging up on us!

Strangest comment I've gotten about Ben

Random woman at the YMCA:

"You're too pretty to be a boy."

?!

Ugh

For the past month or so Ben has been a champion at the YMCA. I'd drop him off in the child care room and he'd be happy as a clam to have new toys to play with, instead of all the old, boring toys at our house. Plus, there were BIG KIDS to watch and nothing is more fun than that!

For some reason, though, this week has been tough and this morning was terrible. Immediately when we walked in the room he started clinging to me for dear life, because he knew I was going to leave. He started bawling when I put him down and then the worst thing - he started crawling after me. So here's this crying child crawling to me and I can just hear, "Mommy, don't leave me!" I tried to get him interested in some of his favorite toys, but he wasn't having any of it and eventually I had to leave him there, crying. By the time I came back he was playing happily, but I don't know if I'll ever forget that image of him crawling after me, bawling his eyes out.

Stranger Danger!

I think we're entering the stranger anxiety phase of Ben's first year. Apparently most kids go through it, once they realize who they know and who they don't know. Ben's usually okay with someone else holding him, as long as he can see Heath or me, but taking him to the YMCA has become a bit of a trial.

I signed up at the beginning of April, but have only been going sporadically. Last Monday I decided to get my butt in gear because it seemed uniquely pathetic to quit after only a month and a half. So we ended up going four times last week. All four times either the child care workers had to come get me because Ben's head was going to explode from all the screaming and they didn't want to be responsible for the cleaning bill, or he was crying when I picked him up. It was rather disconcerting, as I spent my work outs being paranoid that one of the women was going to walk through the door at any moment and pull me away. Not exactly relaxing.

This week has been much better, though. They haven't had to come get me once and apparently he hasn't been crying. The funny thing is that Ben is the reason I've been going so consistently. I wake up most mornings and just don't want to work out. However, I know that if I don't get Ben used to it, it'll be a nightmare on days I do want to go. So I make the effort to go - FOR HIM - and I'm always glad I did.

It's fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A!

I decided to join the YMCA. Though carrying around a 24 pound seven month old is phenomenal for the biceps (I got guns!), it's terrible for the back and knees. I haven't worked out, aside from the occasional walk, since before Ben was born and I'm starting to feel my inactivity. It doesn't feel good.

So this morning was my first trip to the Y. Obviously children aren't allowed in the work out areas, so this entailed dropping Ben off in the on-site child care room. I was actually fairly nervous about it. It was the first time someone other than family or close friends would be caring for Ben, if only for an hour. I even had a dream last night about one of the workers dropping him. However, when it came time to leave him in the room I had no problem. Even despite the fact that the workers are both old women and when I walked in they had four or five infants in their care, one of whom was screaming.

I've never been one who likes to exercise. It's a chore to me. Something to be done to keep myself healthy, but to be done as quickly and painlessly as possible. So when I realized I was almost done on my machine, I couldn't believe how quickly it'd gone by. I think it's because I was actually sort of enjoying myself. Not the exercise, exactly, but the fact that I was sans baby and doing something for myself. So much of what I do on a daily basis isn't only for me. Sure, doing laundry or cooking dinner benefits me, but it's also for Heath and Ben. Working out was for me only and it allowed me to be Katie. Not wife or mother, but just Katie. It felt good.

When I went to pick Ben up he was alive and not even crying, so it was a success! I'm still a tad nervous about those women holding him, just because he's so heavy, but they were very nice. Hopefully Ben liked it in there, because we're definitely going back.