Four!

Dear Ben,

We survived! I don't think I've said that since your first birthday, but this year has been rough. Before you turned three I got a little warning from some friends with older kids that three was worse than two, and boy were they right! We've been struggling this year, with independence, with wanting more attention than I can give and with the fact that you want to do so many things, but you just can't do them all yet. Hopefully our level of fighting this year isn't reached again, well EVER, but realistically until you're a teenager. It hasn't all been bad, of course, but I'm committed to showing a realistic picture of parenthood, so I'm not going to only sing your praises just because it's your birthday. :)

You had several big life changes this year. Of course, the biggest was Sam being born. It was a little tough on you at first. For the first couple months you were obviously out of sorts, but overall I'm so impressed with the way you welcomed him into our family. You never took your frustration out on the baby, just on us (which is how it should be). And as Sam's gotten older and more interactive you're having more fun with him. One of the best parts of this year has been listening to you boys laugh together. You love to make Sam laugh and he loves watching you. You're so sweet with him, giving him hugs and kisses and mostly sharing your toys. I can see the very beginnings of sibling rivalry, as Sam becomes more mobile, but I think you guys are going to have a lot of fun, too.

Another big event of the year was going binky free. Daddy and I were a little afraid of this milestone, so we pulled out the big guns: bribery. With your remaining binkies you bought a bike and you never looked back. Once again your ability to roll with big changes blew my mind. Which always makes it so odd when you break down over the littlest things, like who went into the house first.

The last big event, which was probably bigger for me than for you, was going nap free. All summer you've been whittling down the number of naps you take per week and at this point you're down to one or two. On days when we have nothing to do it can be a little maddening for me (since you still won't play by yourself for any length of time), but on busy weekends it's actually kind of nice. So, the good with the bad.

You absolutely loved your first year of preschool and Daddy and I are so excited by that. Every single day when I picked you up from school your teacher said, "Ben's had a great day." We never had a bad report about you and your teacher was always telling us you were a good friend and a good leader in class. I'm so proud of you for that.

Your interests continue to run toward building and reading and just running around. You're an odd mix of Daddy and me, but I guess that's what we were going for! Although I complained about it incessantly, I was a little sad when your obsession with trains waned this year. It had been such a huge part of your life for two and a half years, it's hard to believe it's over. For a while we thought a Lego obsession might manifest, and I still think it will, but it might be a little early. Right now your focus has turned to ANGRY BIRDS. Everything you play becomes some version of Angry Birds: someone's a pig, someone's a red bird, something's a stolen egg. You're very imaginative with it and it's fun to watch.

With three behind us I'm starting to see some light at the end of the tunnel. You still throw yourself on the floor in agony every time we tell you to brush your teeth, BUT sometimes when I tell you to get dressed you just... do it. Without a fuss, without a fight. It's amazing. And you're helpful around the house, sometimes without even being asked. Between the tantrums and the deliberate disobedience I can see flashes of you becoming a great kid. And I have hope that there are better years ahead. Maybe even next year!

Happy birthday, Ben. I love you.

Love,
Mommy

Totally negligent mommy

Sam turned 9 months old last week and I totally forgot to post about it. This is why second and middle children are always so f-ed up (I'm picturing Ian frowning). Sam's new stats:

Weight: 22 lbs. 5 oz. - 90th percentile
Height: 29 1/4" - 85th percentile
Head circumference: 46 cm - 75th percentile

Everywhere we go people always comment on how big Sam is... But he's a full pound lighter than Ben was at SIX MONTHS, so he doesn't seem big to me. My back, knees and shoulders beg to differ, but my biceps are awesome.

I've been saying Sam is thisclose to crawling for over a month. I really thought he'd be full-out crawling by now. He does this thing where he's on one knee and his other leg is straight out to the side and he sort of pulls himself for a short distance. It's somewhat crawling in that he's moving himself a little bit, but he's not going any significant distance. Mostly he just ninjas out to get whatever he wants and then goes back to sitting. If he can't reach it that way, it's dead to him.

His "talking" seems to be getting more sophisticated. I can't exactly explain what I mean, except to say that it sounds more like he's really "saying" something. Like what's coming out of his mouth has meaning for him. His curiosity has also exploded. Anything we put in front of him will be subjected to a full examination which includes turning it over, banging it on the table and putting it in his mouth. We're at that stage where, in a restaurant the three feet of table around the baby is empty, except for Cheerio's.

Sam remains a content, cheerful little boy. Even with the 5:30-6:00am wake ups every morning we really can't complain.

At least that's settled.

Scene: We're driving in our town past one of the several colleges.

Ben: What's that building?

Me: It's a college.

Ben: When do you go to college?

Me: After high school you can go to college.

Ben: Why?

Me: You can study a specific subject and then get a job.

Ben: Will I be big?

Me: Yes.

Ben: And then I won't need you anymore!

Me: ... Yes. [Heart breaking.]

Ben: Then I can make my own breakfast.

Me: Yes.

Ben: They won't have a microwave at college so I'll have Cheerio's.

Me: They have microwaves at college.

Ben: Oh. Then I'll have oatmeal.

Hearing check on aisle two!

Scene: I'm encouraging Ben to get dressed and he's naked, messing around with random stuff.

Me: We can't go to the zoo if you're naked.

Ben: Why?

Me: It's illegal.

Ben: A silly eagle?

Me: ILLEGAL.

Ben: An ill eagle?

Me: Il-leagl.

Ben: Ha! I thought you said "eagle."

How does a baby react when presented with his own image?

(Almost) on the move

I always say that sitting up is my favorite baby milestone. Suddenly playing gets easier and more fun and the baby is content with his awesome new skill for a while. Unfortunately, we've passed out of the content stage and now we're in the "I want to be able to move, but I can't so I'm MAAAAAAAAD" stage. I knew the contentment couldn't last forever and Ben was right about 8 months when he started being frustrated by his lack of mobility, but Sam's been so agreeable up until now that I thought maybe we could just go from contentment to crawling.

Nope. Sam's not crawling yet, but being stuck in any confining thing like a car seat, high chair or pool floaty is suddenly odious. I'm hoping he'll start crawling sooner than Ben did (at 9.5 months), the logic being that then he'll start walking sooner and then I'll be able to trust him on the stairs sooner and my life will get a whole lot easier. He might do it. He's starting out the same way Ben did: scooting backwards. Yesterday morning, just using his arms to push himself, he scooted on his belly almost all the way across the kitchen, maybe 10 feet. Then he got stuck in a corner. Of course I took a picture:

Soooooooo Heath's son

I've been feeling very trapped in the house lately. Ben and I are both a little frustrated, being subject to Sam's napping whims. So Thursday when Sam woke up from his afternoon nap waaay earlier than I'd expected, I decided to take the boys to Shoe Carnival. Normally, taking the two of them shopping in any capacity is something I hate and dread, so you can see how anxious I was to get out of the house.

I needed a new pair of work out shoes, so that was my main objective, but of course they were having a "Buy one, get one half off sale" (when are they NOT?), so we spent a little more time in the store than I'd planned. However, despite that, both the boys were very good. Normally Ben likes to run up and down aisles, mess with merchandise and make incoherent noises VERY LOUDLY. But this time he pretty much stayed with me and entertained Sam (double win!).

Since it isn't exactly something I get to say on a daily basis, I praised Ben pretty heavily as we left the store. "You were very good in the store. You didn't run around or yell or mess with things. I really appreciate it."

Without missing a beat Ben says to me, "Can I have a Popsicle when we get home?"

Ben can swim!

Aside from that first bath, during which he screamed the entire time, Ben has always loved water. He was one of those fearless two year olds going down the water slide by himself and jumping off the side of the pool. A few weeks ago Heath bought him a kick board, because he was showing interest in real swimming. He did great with it, kicking up a storm and moving himself across the pool. Last night he was zipping around and then all of a sudden he ditched the kick board and just... swam. Underwater. All by himself.

Our friend Katie was also at the pool and she said, "I can't believe he can swim!" We said, "We can't, either." The rest of the evening he wanted nothing to do with the kick board and he kept diving into the water and swimming. It was amazing watching him pick up such an important skill, seemingly all of a sudden.

But that's the tricky thing about parenting. It seems like it was just BAM! Suddenly he can swim. But this one is almost all Heath. He spent hours and hours with Ben at the pool, tirelessly catching him as he jumped from the side and moving back every so often, so Ben would have to put in a little more effort. Heath also would take Ben underwater and sometimes let him struggle for a second to get his own footing (which is something Heath is much better at than I am). It doesn't hurt that Ben's 3.5 feet tall, so he can easily stand up by himself in the three foot pool, but Heath helped him to not fear going under and to know how to move his body in the water.

So kudos to Heath on his parenting win!

Post Title

I've been neglecting my duties as a blogger lately. I haven't been feeling very chatty and I made the mistake of looking at some posts from when Ben was 6-8 months old, to compare what I was writing about him. The actual reading of the posts wasn't a mistake, because I got to experience the awe all over again of just how much Sam looks like Ben. If it wasn't for the hair colors I wouldn't be able to tell their baby pictures apart. No, the mistake was seeing that I used to post FIVE TO SIX TIMES A WEEK! These days I feel good if I make that many posts in a month. It kind of makes me want to smack my past self for feeling like I had no time for anything.

So, here's a semi-stream of consciousness post about what we've been doing. This week Sam's been teething and it sucks as much as it ever did. The boy who's been sleeping through the night perfectly for months has been waking up at odd hours all week. We really can't get mad at him since, like I said, he's been sleeping through the night perfectly for months and at this point in his life Ben wasn't even sleeping through the night PERIOD, BUT... it's still no fun waking up at 1:15am and then again at 5:45am.

Ben has been in day camp for 5 weeks and today was his last day. He already knew a bunch of the kids there, so he had a lot of fun. Today when I told him it was the last day he asked, "Now does school start?" He was a bit disappointed that he still has a month before school. Even though the idea of him being home all day, every day is daunting now that I'm not used to it, I'm also glad he's not in camp all summer. He obviously loves doing organized activities like that, but I think it's good to just have unorganized (or as unorganized as I can be) fun, too. We'll see how I feel next week.

I'm looking forward to this weekend because I'm unintentionally having a kid-free Saturday. I have Zumba from 9-10am, then I have a glass-blowing class from 12-4pm and then I'm meeting some friends for dinner and a movie at 5:15pm. All three things just fell together on the same day. Normally I don't like a day that's that full, but I've been feeling very trapped in the house lately, so the idea of being out so much is exciting.

Sam isn't crawling yet, but I'm hoping he starts soon. It's funny, because all the things I sort of dreaded with Ben - crawling, walking, climbing, potty training, giving up naps - I'm actually looking forward to with Sam. I've seen how all those milestones made my life easier and I can't wait for my life to be easier again. At least physically. As the physical labor goes down, the mental and emotional labor goes up, but I'm better at that stuff. And while Ben is still in the terrible threes (worse than the twos by a long shot), I keep catching small glimpses that he might start calming down a bit when he's four. He still usually freaks out when he doesn't get his way, but occasionally he'll just accept what I say and move on. And he's starting to be able to delay gratification, which means now it sometimes WORKS when I say, "If you're a good boy in the store you can have a Popsicle when we get home." A little bit of logic is starting to seep into his brain, which is AMAZING. It's natural for an adult to want to use logic with a child, but they just don't get it when they're so young. To be able to utilize it is amazing. And even though he technically "doesn't nap" anymore, he stills put himself down for a nap a few times a week. He'll even tell me, "I'm tired so I'm going to take a nap during Quiet Time." It's actually easier to get him to take a nap now that he "doesn't nap." Sometimes his maturity astounds me, and I try to remember those times when he collapses in a heap of whining and crying because he doesn't want to brush his teeth.

Well, I think that's enough rambling for today. Have a good weekend!

Recent pictures

 He doesn't seem too impressed with swinging

 Feet are a delicacy in this house

Having fun in his brother's pirate hat

Obligatory baby-with-food-all-over-his-face pic

I love the way the sunlight catches his hair.

I finally got a decent shot of the teeth! Bonus weird face!

Ben's new thing is eating under the table

Sam looks concerned that Ben's armed