The first day

Leaving on the first day

As I expected, Ben had a great first day of preschool. No tears, he had a lot of fun. According to him he played with trains, they read a story about two boys laughing and they heard music. Oh and they went to the playground. I also know he played with sand, because he had some in his hair.

The weird thing about all of this is that now Ben has a life beyond me. And I suppose that's some (or all) of what the tears were about. It's the first big step we've taken to him having his own life. I feel like now he's on this conveyor belt that will eventually take him away from me. Which is how it should ultimately be, it's just hard to swallow when he's not even quite three.

I admit, though, I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow while he's at school and it's going to be so nice to go and not have to deal with him. I think yesterday is the only day there will be tears. At least until kindergarten.

The Preschool Blues

Today is Ben's first day of preschool. As I type this my cheeks are still stained with tears from leaving him. Don't worry, I managed to get out of the classroom before I started crying. Ben was none the wiser (until he's 12, finds this blog and dies from embarrassment).

He's been excited about school for months, but as the actual day approached I could tell he was somewhat apprehensive. He stopped talking about it this week and he's been having bathroom accidents. Then last night he came into our room at 3:15am and asked to sleep in our bed. He's never asked that before. I took him back to his own room, but I did lie with him until he fell asleep.

This morning went like clockwork. He woke up just before 7:00am, had breakfast, brushed his teeth, got dressed and then we played until it was time to leave. He didn't seem nervous, though his excitement was tempered. Heath decided he wanted to video tape Ben's entire walk into school, so I'll post a link to a video that's mostly Ben's and my butts walking down the sidewalk.

We dropped him off in his classroom, gave quick hugs and then his teacher whisked him off to wash his hands. I've been crying ever since.

I can't wait to hear about his first day of school. I hope he loved it. As for me, I know I'll come to love this time off, but it's 9:07am right now, I have over two hours before I need to pick him up and I have no idea what to do.

Summer Adventures

Swimming with Mommy and his aunts

 Navigating the Lake of the Ozarks with Daddy

(I love that they both have the same look on their faces)

 Fourth of July carnival

 Even Picasso had to start somewhere, right?

 He's ready for winter

 Swimming with Avery

 Sliding

 Rubbing elbows with the famous

(He sings songs on PBS Kids)

I'm going to have two sons. Two sons. That just sounds bizarre.

My pregnancy is progressing normally and overall I'm feeling okay. Sometimes. I'm right on the verge of my third trimester, so it's all downhill from here, until the horrible, horrible pain of labor and delivery will actually become preferable to my daily aches, pains and exhaustion. It seems hard to believe, but every pregnant woman I've talked to has reached that point.

My mental state regarding this second child thing is a little more precarious. I'm starting to freak out about having two children. I keep coming back to this thought of, "What have I done?" We're at a point where things with Ben are manageable and routine and we don't need to cart around a bunch of shit to take him places and he can talk well and tell us what he wants... And now we're just going to add in another crying, pooping blob who can't communicate and won't sleep. It's like, hey, we're getting pretty good at juggling these watermelons. Why don't we add in a chainsaw? Who's dumb idea was that?

And the idea of being able to love another child as much as I love Ben... especially another boy... seems unfathomable. I know this baby is a part of our family, because when I look into my future I see more than one child sitting around the dining room table. I want Ben to have a brother. But standing on the precipice of a four-person family and this time KNOWING how much work a newborn is going to be is terrifying.

He so is

Tuesday, since it wasn't 1,000 degrees outside, we had playgroup in someone's backyard and the kids played in the pool. There were various pool toys around, including three watering cans. Ben had one and Alyssa had two and they were both dumping water into the pool and into the grass. After a while Ben looked at Alyssa, pointed to her watering cans and said, "Those are mine." He didn't try to take them, he just stated that they were his. Well, being three years old, this PISSED ALYSSA OFF. You would've thought Ben insulted Dora the Explorer. So she started whining and yelled, "No, they're mine!" Apparently Ben enjoyed that reaction because he said it again, "Those are mine." Then he started giggling, because Alyssa exploded again. This went on several more times, Alyssa getting mad and Ben giggling at her reaction.

Upon hearing this story Heath said, "Ben, you are so my son."

I have no idea where he learned that phrase

Saturday night we had our friends Sharon and David over for dinner and planned to play a board game after Ben went to bed. Well, lately Ben's bedtime routine has included three to five incidents of getting out of bed claiming he has to go to the bathroom, or he needs his covers or his Elmo slippers. But Saturday night he was in rare form. I think he was mad we were downstairs playing with friends and he wasn't included. He got out of bed at least seven times, for every imaginable reason. Heath put him to bed around 8pm, but he didn't go to sleep until almost 10. The highlight of the evening, though, was when he came out of his room and yelled down the stairs, "I'M TRYING TO SLEEP! KEEP IT DOWN!"

Conversations with a Toddler - Part 10

Me: Let's have apple slices for a snack.

Ben: I don't like apple slices.

Me: Even with peanut butter?

Ben: I want apple slices.

One month and counting

Ben starts preschool in a month. One measly month! I cannot believe it. We got a big packet of information and forms to fill out and it's all becoming so real. We're going to be parents of a kid in school. That means we have to contend with teachers and a schedule and (horror of horrors) other parents. It's bizarre. But I know we've done the right thing because Ben is so excited. Granted, he doesn't exactly know what he's getting into, but he's been talking about it since the beginning of summer. And he carries his little Buzz Lightyear backpack everywhere. It's so cute.

Thinking about it makes me want to cry, but at the same time I'm already daydreaming about what I can do with my nine free hours a week (minus pick up and drop off time). Doctors appointments and errands will become stress free. Work outs won't include five minutes of prying Ben away from whatever toy he's obsessed with in the playroom. It'll be like a fairy wonderland where things are... easy. For three months. And then that second one comes out and I'll barely be coherent enough to drive Ben to preschool and back, let alone navigate the grocery store. *sigh* It will have been nice while it lasted...

He'll never live down this story

On Tuesday we had playgroup at a children's resale shop near our house. They have a big play area and couches for the parents. They're also very lenient about kids running around the store, so I wasn't worried when I didn't see Ben for a few minutes. Eventually I did go looking for him and found him sitting on a potty they had for sale. I thought he was just sitting on it for fun, to make his friend laugh, but then I noticed his pants around his ankles. And THEN, through his legs I noticed a very LARGE pile of poop in the potty. The boy who asks me to turn my back when we're in a public restroom stall had pooped right there in the middle of the store.

Brothers

Most of you who read this blog already know, from phone calls and Facebook, but we're having another boy! I will admit to being a little disappointed I don't get to buy cute girls' clothes, but this way we don't have to buy any new clothes and the kids can share a room (which means a sweet Leave-Mommy-Alone room for me, eventually)!

The name discussion has begun, but there are no clear front runners yet. Heath vetoed my favorite name (Finn), but I'm not giving up the fight yet. I'll start whispering it into his ear as he sleeps, so it burrows into his subconscious. Then one day he'll wake up and say those words which he's almost physically incapable of uttering, "Katie, you were right." I'll keep you posted on my progress.

I never imagined I'd be the mother of two boys. I always pictured myself with a daughter. But life throws us curve balls and having Ben has been wonderful, so I know having As-Yet-Unnamed-Boy-2 will be wonderful, as well. And I still haven't ruled out a third child, so you never know. But if Heath's right about that one, too, I'm not sure my sanity will hold.