Such a polite boy

I honestly think that manners are one of the hallmarks of good parenting. If a kid says "please" and "thank you" and shares pretty well, you can probably assume that the parents are getting other things right, too. Which is why it pleases me so much that after millions of repetitions, Ben's manners are starting to kick in. He still has a problem remembering to say "please" when asking for something. Usually it's more like, "I want some juice," or the more desperate, "I need some juice." Obviously juice is crucial to the continuation of his life. "My juice levels are critically low, Mommy. I don't have time for social niceties!" However, when I tell him to ask politely he always quickly supplies the "please."

He is rockin' the "thank you," though. He thanks me when I get him food, when I help him get dressed, when I agree to take him to the playground. This morning he even thanked me after I cut his fingernails. "Thank you for cutting my fingernails, Mommy." Oh my god, how cute is that?!

He's even started saying, "no, thank you," when I offer him something he doesn't want. He has no idea yet, but the sting of him not eating broccoli is definitely lessened when he refuses it politely. It gives me a little jolt of "I'm a good mom!" even if all he's eaten that day is bagels, mac & cheese and Popsicles.

3 x 3 x 3

I put Ben on the waiting list for pre-school last fall, on the advice of other local parents. It felt somewhat silly doing it an entire year in advance, but it's a popular school and siblings of current students get priority. It paid off, though, because we found out Ben got in! It's exciting because part of me honestly didn't think he'd get in*... But when I opened the letter my first emotion was sadness. He's so social and curious I know he's ready to be in an environment like that... But he's my baby! It's hard to believe he's ready to do something "on his own."

Over the past two and a half years I've come to learn that every transition for the kid is a transition for the parents, as well. Ben deals amazingly well with big transitions and I hope that continues for the rest of his life. It is a gift. I, on the other hand, am absolutely abysmal when it comes to transitions. (For reference see: my college years, when for the last four semesters I literally made myself sick with worry over what I'd do afterward.) Most of the time young kids lean on their parents for support. That's what parents are for. But as the kid gets older, he can take more weight and I think on this one Ben might have to support me a little. The crazy thing is, I think he can handle that.

Okay, time for a step back into the light of reality. It's the power of threes: He'll be three when he starts and he'll go to preschool three days a week for three hours. Not really a huge deal. See how I can inflate things in my mind? I know once he starts I'll love it. It means time to myself and running errands without him. By that time I'll be getting big from the pregnancy, so a break will be wonderful. And once the baby comes it'll mean time alone to get to know the new baby. Plus, time for him to get away from the new baby, if he wants. We can do this. As I, at the age of five, once told my mother, who was comforting me during scary parts of the Wizard of Oz, "It's only a movie," I'm sure Ben will say to me, "It's only preschool."


*This is all based purely on them having space for students. Ben didn't have to take tests or go through an interview or anything crazy like that.

Happy Mother's Day!

To the women who raised us and put up with our shit (that's more for Heath's mom):

Thank you. We love you.

It's raining, it's pouring...

It's been raining a lot in St. Louis lately, which means a lot of time spent indoors. With a very active toddler. In a way it's been okay, because the first trimester of pregnancy wipes you out, so I don't think I would've had the energy to run to the playground all the time, anyway. And though the low physical impact of playing trains is good, the low mental impact is DRIVING ME CRAZY. Ben's been watching a wee bit more TV than usual lately. And the rumors of me falling asleep during an episode of Dinosaur Train are greatly exaggerated. (No they're not.)

There's some hope on the horizon, though. I'm nearing the 12 week mark of my pregnancy, which means hopefully sometime in the next few weeks my energy level will start to creep back up and we can dive into summer fun. And only four of the next ten days show rain on weather.com!

Little brat

Ben's starting to understand the concept of stalling for time. Usually he goes down for a nap easily, but last Saturday for whatever reason he didn't want to sleep. So after I left the room he almost immediately started yelling for me. "Mommy, Mommy, go see Ben!"

I went back in and told him to lay down, but he countered with, "I have to throw up." Now, I knew he was lying. He hadn't been acting sick and still wasn't. But, on the off chance I was wrong I took him into the bathroom. I opened the toilet lid, he leaned over and blew a raspberry into it. Then he grinned at me.

It's a good thing the instinct to keep your kids unharmed is so strong.

Never leave a man behind... unless he's covered in someone else's urine

Ben's interest in trains has suddenly sky rocketed. It had been waning for a while, which made me regret his Christmas present - a huge train table that takes up half our living room. But all of a sudden last week he decided that the only thing he wants to do (besides eat mac & cheese and ride his tricycle to the park) is play trains. Fine with me. Most of the time he doesn't want me to participate so I can sometimes slip away and read or do dishes for a few minutes before he notices I'm gone. Then he comes looking for me saying, "Mommy, come play trains with me." But what that really means is, "Mommy, come sit on the couch and watch me play trains. No, you can't check Twitter on your phone or even put your feet up on the couch. Just sit and watch."

This means that various trains have been accompanying us around town. Well, last week we went to McDonald's and I had to change Ben's diaper before we ate. The changing table was in the handicapped stall and the previous occupant had decided against flushing the toilet. Why waste the energy, right? While I got ready, Ben wandered over to the toilet and before I could stop him, he threw Thomas in. I have no idea what would possess him to do that, but I grabbed Henry out of his other hand, before he fell victim to the same fate.

When we're at the playground with the trains I keep a close eye on them. Those suckers are expensive and we've already lost a couple. However, I could not bring myself to stick my hand into an un-flushed public toilet to rescue Thomas. Not happening.

On the bright side, Ben didn't even seem to care much that we left the train. We did have two other Thomases at home. It must've been fairly confusing for the next person in the bathroom, though.

A mind of his own

As I say frequently on this blog, it's amazingly fun watching who Ben becomes. Well, in the past couple months I feel like he's taken a leap forward in that journey. Until recently pretty much everything he's said is something he heard someone else say. He might add or subtract a few words, or put his own spin on it, but he was mostly parroting ideas from other people. But now... he's starting to get his own ideas. He's making connections that, as far as I know, he's never heard verbalized. After years of him not speaking and then barely speaking and then only parroting, to hear him spew forth his own opinions is weird. It's awesome and amazing, but it's hard to wrap my mind around at first. I guess we'll now be moving into that phase where he says all kinds of bizarre things. As Heath said, "He's getting delightfully weird."

Mr. Happy

Despite my previous post about his aggressive behavior, Ben is actually a very friendly person. He's much friendlier than I am. He takes after Heath in that way. If we arrive at the playground and there are no other people there, he doesn't want to play. However, when there are other kids he says, "There's my friends!" Even if we've never met them. To Ben, everyone is a friend. He says hello to everybody and can usually get a smile out of even the surliest teenage boy. And as far as older people go... Sheesh, they're putty in his hands.

As much as I don't relish the thought of being the only introvert in the house, I'm glad Ben is so outgoing. Ever since I was very young that's always what I've wanted to change about myself, because it makes life so much easier to be an extrovert. Ben is cheerful and charismatic and affectionate. He's forever doling out hugs at the end of playgroup (which is so freaking adorable) and sharing his snacks with his friends. I think he's going to be one of those annoying people who everyone likes.

In which news is shared

There will soon be one more Borders in the world (on or around November 20)!

Conversations with a Toddler - Part 7

Me: Do you want to go to [mall play area]?

Ben: And meet robots there?