On Sunday Heath and I are leaving for Hawaii. We'll be gone an entire week and Ben's alternately staying with Ian and Bekah and both sets of grandparents. Heath and I haven't been on a trip like this since our honeymoon and to say that I'm looking forward to it is the understatement of the year. There have been ticker tape parades going through my head every time I've thought of it for the past six months.
BUT (isn't there always one?), this will be the longest we've been away from Ben and the freaking out started weeks ago. Intellectually I know he'll be fine. He'll be with people who love him and will most likely spoil him rotten. But I keep imagining that moment we leave. He'll probably start crying and it's going to break my heart because he has no idea how long we'll be gone, or even if we're coming back. He's getting better at understanding what we say, but there's no way to explain this to him. I know once we're sitting on the beach, sleeping uninterrupted and eating meals at the same time I'll be fine, but I'm a world class worrier. Case in point, I'm writing an entire blog entry worrying about being worried.
However (that's just a fancy "but"), we need this vacation. The first year of someone's life is like boot camp for the parents and we need to get away and remember that our marriage came first. It's going to be a wonderful trip and I'm determined to enjoy every minute of it, but I have to admit, I'm also looking forward to seeing Ben's smile when we come home.