"Frodo" was our second choice

I realized that even though we've known for a couple months, I forgot to announce the baby's name on here. Most of you reading already know, but in six weeks or fewer we will welcome Samuel Donald into our family.

It actually has a nice symmetry to it, because Ben's full name is Benjamin Hal. Hal is my father's name and I'm the one who first suggested Benjamin. Donald is Heath's father's name and Heath is the one who first suggested Samuel. So it worked out nicely.

"Ben and Sam" has a nice ring to it. Plus, this way I can call him "Samwise" without actually being a person who names her child after a book character.

Thirty-three weeks

It's been a rough couple weeks in pregnancy land. I went back to my doctor last Wednesday and I was still measuring big. Like, I'm 7.5 months pregnant and I'm as big as 8.5 months pregnant. So I went in for an ultrasound last Friday. The technician said the baby is a "normal size" at 4 lbs. 4 oz. and the reason I'm measuring big is because I have extra amniotic fluid.

Cut to this Wednesday when I saw my doctor again. The extra amniotic fluid isn't a huge worry, but it does mean we have to monitor the baby more closely. She thinks my placenta isn't working optimally, which is why there's extra fluid, so we have to make sure the baby's getting enough oxygen and growing appropriately. Which basically means I'm having weekly visits for the rest of the pregnancy and each week I have to have what's called a "non-stress test." I get to sit in a big comfy chair and they monitor the baby's heart rate and movement for 30 minutes.

Even though my doctor's not very worried about this, there aren't zero risks associated with it. Because my uterus is getting stretched so much, my chances of going into pre-term labor are greater. I also probably won't make it to my due date for the same reason, but as long as we're past 36 weeks I'm fine with that. Since there's more room in there, it'll be easier for the baby to get out of the "head down" position, which you want for delivery, and there's also a greater possibility of him getting tangled in the cord. So I guess those things also increase my risk for c-section.

So far everything's looking fine, though. My doctor said the baby looked great at Wednesday's non-stress test, and his growth and proportions are all normal according to the ultrasound. We'll continue on this course and then in a couple weeks I'll get another ultrasound to make sure he's still growing well.

Looking on the bright side, I never had an ultrasound with Ben past 20 weeks, and at that point fetuses still look sort of like aliens. So it was really neat to see the baby looking a little chubby. I got a couple pictures and you can clearly see the nose, mouth, chin, arm and hands and they look human and cute. It's amazing to think that in seven weeks or fewer he'll be here.

Pearly whites

Yesterday Ben had his first dentist appointment! He's always done really well at the doctor, so I figured he'd do well at the dentist, too. Plus, I'd been talking it up for a while and he was very excited about the concept of a new toothbrush. All yesterday morning he kept saying, "Are you ready to go to the dentist now?"

I took him to the dentist Heath and I use, because he's a family practice dentist and he has three (soon to be four) kids of his own. At this office they take kids back by themselves. The nurse said they usually do better that way, especially if the parent is nervous. Ben isn't shy at all, so I knew he wouldn't have a problem with that. And I was right! It's a small office, so from the waiting room I could hear him talking and answering the nurse's questions. He even laughed a couple times, I think when they were suctioning liquid out of his mouth. The dentist said he was an awesome patient, and no cavities to boot! He also said Ben's teeth are very nicely spaced, so it's unlikely he'll get cavities between his teeth. Score!

So it was a very successful first trip. I know a lot of people who are petrified of the dentist, though I've never shared that fear, so hopefully this will lay the groundwork for Ben NOT being afraid. I just won't let him watch Little Shop of Horrors anytime soon.

Conversations with a Preschooler

Scene: We're driving down a crowded, commercial street and we pass a Taco Bell.

Ben: That's where we buy bells!

Thirty weeks and counting...

I had a doctor's appointment last week and the pregnancy is going very well. All my tests are coming back saying I'm healthy, which is reassuring. I feel like I'm more nervous about the tests this time around because I know in more detail all the things that can go wrong. I'm also more nervous about labor and delivery. Last time it was a vague, unknown fear. This time I know exactly how painful it will be. It takes a lot more bravery to get pregnant a second time.

My doctor did say I'm measuring a little big for how far along I am. For those not "in the know," at this point in pregnancy they actually use a tiny tape measure on your stomach to see how big you are. At my previous appointment I was measuring spot on, so in three weeks the baby had a growth spurt. If we're still big at my next appointment I'll go in for another ultrasound. This is a little scary to me, because I don't think I ever measured "big" with Ben and he was 8 pounds 11 ounces. How much of a behemoth am I growing this time?! I assume if they determine that the baby's big I might be having him before the projected due date. I'd really rather not have a ton of medical intervention (induction, c-section). I want to see what it's like to go into labor on my own. But I also don't want a 10 pound baby. Whose vagina just tensed up a little? I can't be the only one.

I'm definitely in the third trimester now, meaning I'm starting to get really uncomfortable. Sleeping has been a problem lately and my back is not my friend. Also, the baby has settled into a comfy little position on my bladder, which basically means I feel like I have to pee all the time. Every time I tell someone I'm due around Thanksgiving they say, "Oh, that's soon!" But 2+ months is NOT soon to a pregnant woman. Especially the LAST 2+ months.

I'm also getting to that point where I'm DONE. I still have 10 weeks to go, but I'm completely over being pregnant. Poor Heath, the next 10 weeks aren't going to be fun for him, either, because I'm going to be a grouchy, complaining blob. Then again, he gets the exact same outcome as I do (a new son) without all the physical labor, so I don't feel too bad for him. (And right now he's thinking to himself, "Yeah, I know.")

Another year, another party

Since Ben's birthday is right around Labor Day (his actual birth day was the day after Labor Day, which was a little disappointing) his birthday parties will probably always be before or after the real day. So on Sunday we had his party at one of his favorite places - the train store. It was wonderful. We had the max number of kids they allow - 16 - but it went so smoothly. They have a person dedicated to running your party, so even with a bunch of 2-5 year olds hitting a pinata it never felt out of control. Of course, I think most of the kids were a little perplexed at getting to hit something with a bat indoors.

The candy rush

They even set up and cleaned up all the plates, cups, juice and cupcakes, even though we provided them. It was awesome, and exactly what I wanted at six and a half months pregnant - to do as little work as possible!

Enjoying delicious cupcakes which I painstakingly bought at a bakery

L-R: Amelia, Logan, Ben, Elena, Luke and Colin

The kids had a blast playing at the ginormous train table they have for parties.

And Ben got to add his hand print to the hundreds already up on the wall.

It was great and I know Ben had a good time. We probably won't do another blow out party like that again for a while. Between taking him to Chuck E. Cheese on his actual birthday and the party, we spent quite a bit of money this year... But I see it as the last hurrah for him as an only child. And it's really fun to make your kid so happy.

Doctor visit

We took Ben to the doctor for his three year check up on Tuesday. I was excited, because now the only times we see his doctor are at his yearly check ups and when he's sick. We love his doctor because he's a laid back guy who makes us feel secure in our parenting and he genuinely seems to love interacting with Ben and with us. So I'm excited that in a few months we're going to start seeing him a lot more again, and he seemed excited about our impending baby. He even said we seemed like a family that needed a lot of boys. Not exactly sure why, but whatever. And he's on call on Thanksgiving, so we don't have to worry about him being out of town when the baby's born!

Ben's doing very well and he didn't even need any shots! I'm always amazed by what a good patient he is. He sits up there and lets the doctor examine him without a fuss. It's awesome. It gives me hope that his first dentist appointment in a month will go well. He's growing at a consistent rate, which means he's still in the 90th percentile for height and weight. He's just a big guy. Currently he's 37 pounds and 39 inches, which means by next summer he may be tall enough (42 inches) to go on some amusement park rides. He won't even be four! That blows my mind.

I feel very lucky that we have a healthy little boy and am hoping for the same with the next one.

I'll be a millionaire!

So, I've written about how Ben's being a bit of a brat lately. However, he was wonderful on his birthday. Apparently all you have to do to have a happy three year old all day is give him treats, take him to his favorite places and shower him with attention and gifts. How come nobody's figured this out? I think I'm going to write a parenting book!

Three years and counting...

Dear Ben,

Today you turn three! I've actually been thinking of you as three for a while, because your communication skills have blossomed this year. Your speech is becoming clearer and it's no longer rote memorization and parroting. You're coming up with ideas all on your own. Just recently you've started telling little stories. They usually start from something that really happened, or an idea we were discussing, but then they meander and grow into strange and wonderful places. I love listening to your stories and look forward to many more.

 One year old

This was a big year for milestones. Over the winter we put away your crib and now you're in a big boy bed. I had no idea what to expect from that transition, but you took to the bed like you'd been sleeping in it your entire life. It didn't phase you at all and it has made traveling infinitely easier. No more dragging around the annoying pack 'n play. It also makes it a lot easier for you to stall at bed time, but you're slowly getting better about that.

In the spring we tackled potty training. This one hasn't gone quite as smoothly as sleeping in a big boy bed, but we've left the diapers behind with no looking back. We still have occasional accidents, but it's not as big a deal as I feared it would be.

Of course, just recently you had a huge milestone and that's starting preschool. You're such a social, curious, active boy I knew you'd love school, and I was right. You talked about it for months beforehand and even though I could tell you were a little nervous to actually begin, you haven't had a sad day since you started. I hope this lays the foundation for a great school career and fosters a love of learning.

 Two years old

The biggest milestone, though, was started this year but won't end until next year. Right now I'm six months pregnant with your little brother. So far you're a great big brother. You hug and kiss my stomach and sometimes sing to your baby brother. It's so sweet to watch. You talk about the baby in your belly and the baby in Daddy's belly and how they'll all come to live in our house. Obviously you don't know the realities of having a baby around 24/7, but almost all your friends have gotten siblings in the last year, so you've seen babies in all stages of development. I'm so excited for you to have a brother, Ben. At first it won't be very exciting for you, but I'm sure after a while you'll realize how he can be used to your advantage. You definitely got that trait from your Daddy. Adding another person to our family is very nerve wracking, but in the past you've done a whole lot better with big transitions than I have. Hopefully that trend will continue. But no matter what, you're the person who made me into a mother and that's a specialness that will never change.

So far every year of your life has been better than the last and the third year was no exception. However, I'm nervous about the upcoming year. You're showing signs of three year old independence, which is good when you want to do things yourself like clean up or get into the car, but not so good when you put your stubborn foot down and won't move, figuratively and literally. Between that and the transition into a four person family, I'm bracing myself for a difficult year ahead. Even if it is hard, I know there will be bright spots and hopefully I can treasure those as they happen (and remember them amidst the screaming). Just this morning when you asked for waffles I told you there were only two left, so you could have both. But you insisted on sharing, so we both had one waffle. It was so generous of you and it gives me hope that we'll get through the fourth year intact. I love you, my sweet boy.

 Three years old

Love,
Mommy

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Ben

I've been warned by friends with older kids that the "terrible twos" are really nothing compared to three year olds. And only one week away from Ben's third birthday we are experiencing that reality for ourselves. Heath described it rather succinctly: When they're two they do bad things, but they don't realize those things are bad. But when they're three they do bad things they know are bad. So it's all about the intent.

The most frustrating thing is that sometimes Ben's his old, sweet self. He'll cooperate, he'll do what I ask, he won't stall for insane amounts of time. Then all of a sudden a switch goes off in his head and he's whining and stomping around and willfully disobeying me. And this happens every day. Our day isn't complete until he's thrown himself on the ground in anguish over something. Or made me drag him along the sidewalk because he won't stand up. Or run away while I'm yelling at him to STOP.

Is this like mini-boot camp for the teenage years? I suppose I should be grateful that at least right now I can physically overpower him. That advantage is going to go away all too soon. He'll probably be taller than I am by the time he's 10. But this SUCKS. I know it's not just me, but it's making me feel like a terrible parent because I pretty much want to strangle him on a daily basis. And I don't want to be screaming at him in Target or at restaurants.

I guess he started preschool just in time. We both need our space.