This week Ben's in YMCA day camp. It's Art 101, but they also do a lot of traditional camp activities, like swimming, singing and games. He's gone to day camp before, but this year he's going all day, from 8:30am-3:30pm, roughly school hours come August. I think this is the longest amount of time Sam and I have spent together, alone, ever. And I have to say, it's been a delight.
For months now our lives have revolved around the Terrible Twos. Sam has been very whiny and tantrum-y and all listening skills seem to have gone out the window. Unfortunately, Ben's also realized the power he holds over Sam. Sometimes he uses that power for good, encouraging Sam to finish his meals or brush his teeth. But more and more lately he's been drifting to the evil side, merely "suggesting" Sam throw his food or spit at someone. It's been incredibly frustrating and I've found myself yelling more and more, but feeling like I've been accomplishing less and less.
At the beginning of summer I always have these rose-colored glasses, tricking myself into believing we're going to have a fun, sun-soaked summer lounging at the pool and flitting from playground, to outdoor concert, to food truck event. And it never quite works out that way. So even though we'd only had two weeks of summer, I was very ready for Ben to be in camp this week. I needed my quiet afternoons back.
Getting to spend time with Sam alone has been a benefit of camp. He's been so much more pleasant and I think it's because I can actually give him some focused attention. He's never really had that. We can do activities on a two year old level, instead of me having to find something that will entertain a two year old AND a five year old. I get to listen to what he says without someone else talking over my shoulder. He gets to choose all the games and the TV shows and activities, which is completely novel to him. It's been a good week, and I'm looking forward to Ben's next week of camp, in July.
That being said, all day every day Sam's been asking about when we're going to pick up Ben. He's never really known life without Ben for long stretches. The transition to kindergarten might be hard on him, too.
Thursday, June 12, 2014
Tuesday, June 10, 2014
Summer Project
About a month ago, with summer approaching, I started thinking about what we could do everyday. Not just activities all three (or four) of us would enjoy, but something Ben and I could do during Sam's naps. He still naps 2+ hours most days. That's when Ben was at school, so I knew my quiet, alone time was turning into Ben time. He's not exactly a play-quietly-by-himself kind of kid. So rather than caving everyday and letting him play an hour or more of video games, I decided we should do something constructive. A summer project.
So I started looking around online, not entirely sure WHAT I was looking for. A big art project? A summer-long science experiment? Maybe we could make a movie - write the script, gather props, film it. But, honestly, I wasn't that enthusiastic about anything I was thinking of or finding. I'm not a crafty person and neither is Ben. A science experiment could be neat, but I wasn't sure I'd have the energy to keep up with it. Making a movie sounds cool, but is probably a better summer project for when the boys are older.
Thus, summer started and I had no concrete plan for Ben's and my afternoons aside from "play board games." Which we both love, but we only have a limited number of games he's ready to play and even the fun ones would get boring after a while. But then fate stepped in, in the form of Heath's old Roald Dahl and Judy Blume books. Ben has been ravenous to read them, so every afternoon we spend an hour or more reading together. It's so fun! I signed him up for the library summer reading program and we are well on our way to earning him prizes.
I love reading, but I think of it as mostly a solo activity, so I guess that's why I never thought of spending our lazy afternoons with books. But it's become a great way for Ben and me to connect without having to talk endlessly about Super Mario Brothers. And it's so much more fun than doing stupid summer crafts.
So I started looking around online, not entirely sure WHAT I was looking for. A big art project? A summer-long science experiment? Maybe we could make a movie - write the script, gather props, film it. But, honestly, I wasn't that enthusiastic about anything I was thinking of or finding. I'm not a crafty person and neither is Ben. A science experiment could be neat, but I wasn't sure I'd have the energy to keep up with it. Making a movie sounds cool, but is probably a better summer project for when the boys are older.
Thus, summer started and I had no concrete plan for Ben's and my afternoons aside from "play board games." Which we both love, but we only have a limited number of games he's ready to play and even the fun ones would get boring after a while. But then fate stepped in, in the form of Heath's old Roald Dahl and Judy Blume books. Ben has been ravenous to read them, so every afternoon we spend an hour or more reading together. It's so fun! I signed him up for the library summer reading program and we are well on our way to earning him prizes.
I love reading, but I think of it as mostly a solo activity, so I guess that's why I never thought of spending our lazy afternoons with books. But it's become a great way for Ben and me to connect without having to talk endlessly about Super Mario Brothers. And it's so much more fun than doing stupid summer crafts.
Wednesday, May 21, 2014
Kindergarten Jitters
This is Ben's last week of preschool. Ever. In three short months he'll be a full-fledged kindergartener. The school district does a really good job of preparing the kids AND the parents for the transition to kindergarten, with lots of information sessions, chances to ask questions, tours of the school, etc. So far Ben has been nothing but excited, expressing no concerns or nervousness. When I inquired if he'd asked his friend in kindergarten any questions about it he said, "No, I want to find out what it's like for myself."
I, on the other hand, must be more nervous than even I realized because I've started having stress dreams about it. In them we're always late for school or Ben doesn't have anything he needs or we don't know where to go. This is a very typical reaction for me during times of change, stressing out about something MONTHS before it happens.
I shouldn't be surprised. Ben and I have a long history of him being perfectly calm about changes in his life and me freaking out for no good reason. But this time it did surprise me. I thought I was (somewhat) past getting THIS worked up about a change in HIS life. After all, it's not like he's 1 year old and I'm taking his bottle away. He's going to be 6, starting school, and really beginning the time when his life is his story to tell, not mine. I suppose that's the obvious root of the anxiety.
As if he sensed my uneasiness in the air, on Monday I found Sam ripping apart the "All About Me" poster Ben had made in preschool last year. Of course, he's two and he was just having fun ripping some paper, but only having woken up from a kindergarten stress dream an hour earlier, it seemed so heart-wrenchingly significant to me. Babyhood, toddlerhood and now even preschool are all behind us. Ahead are great things and I cannot wait to see how Ben flourishes in school, because I know he will. But at this moment it just feels like I'm losing my baby.
I, on the other hand, must be more nervous than even I realized because I've started having stress dreams about it. In them we're always late for school or Ben doesn't have anything he needs or we don't know where to go. This is a very typical reaction for me during times of change, stressing out about something MONTHS before it happens.
I shouldn't be surprised. Ben and I have a long history of him being perfectly calm about changes in his life and me freaking out for no good reason. But this time it did surprise me. I thought I was (somewhat) past getting THIS worked up about a change in HIS life. After all, it's not like he's 1 year old and I'm taking his bottle away. He's going to be 6, starting school, and really beginning the time when his life is his story to tell, not mine. I suppose that's the obvious root of the anxiety.
As if he sensed my uneasiness in the air, on Monday I found Sam ripping apart the "All About Me" poster Ben had made in preschool last year. Of course, he's two and he was just having fun ripping some paper, but only having woken up from a kindergarten stress dream an hour earlier, it seemed so heart-wrenchingly significant to me. Babyhood, toddlerhood and now even preschool are all behind us. Ahead are great things and I cannot wait to see how Ben flourishes in school, because I know he will. But at this moment it just feels like I'm losing my baby.
Tuesday, January 28, 2014
Happiness is...
...hearing Ben say, "Sam, I'm going to miss you while I'm at school!" after signing him up for kindergarten.
Tuesday, January 21, 2014
Growing up
Ben is growing up. Kindergarten registration starts next week. On one hand I'm very ready for him to go to school. As I've mentioned before, Ben and I are very different, and I think more time away will help us appreciate each other more. And Ben is totally ready, too. He loves school and he's so excited. I think he needs more social interaction than I'm providing, so school is going to be perfect for that.
On the other hand... it's that "my baby's going to kindergarten" thing. He won't actually start until August, but signing him up is the first step in putting him on that conveyor belt that will eventually take him away from me. It makes my heart hurt a little.
He's been maturing. Sometimes we can have actually interesting conversations. Most of our conversations are about Super Mario Brothers, which he finds endlessly fascinating and me not so much, but occasionally he'll ask what things mean or how things work and when I explain he actually GETS IT. That's fun.
He can also be a big help with Sam. At dinner last Sunday Sam didn't want to eat any more of his hot dog. Heath and I both tried to no avail. So Ben grabbed the fork, pretended it was a train and got Sam to eat!
And now that we've entered a tantrum-y phase with Sam, Ben seems to have sensed that I can't handle two kids who are acting up. So he's been more obedient and helpful lately, which is AWESOME. Especially because he's getting big enough to do actual helpful things. He can get a snack for himself and Sam, he can pour milk, he can wash his own hands, dress himself, brush his own teeth. It's really neat to watch him become more independent, and to see his pride when he accomplishes something all by himself. He's been practicing tying his shoes and though he's not quite there yet, he's been getting better and it makes me proud to see him keeping at it, even when it's frustrating.
School age is the time I've been looking forward to since Ben was born. They're independent and can handle most self care on their own, but they're not so old that they don't want to hang out with you. I'm sure there will still be hurdles and plenty of frustrations, but I'm hoping it's going to be more fun and enjoyable than the baby/toddler stage.
On the other hand... it's that "my baby's going to kindergarten" thing. He won't actually start until August, but signing him up is the first step in putting him on that conveyor belt that will eventually take him away from me. It makes my heart hurt a little.
He's been maturing. Sometimes we can have actually interesting conversations. Most of our conversations are about Super Mario Brothers, which he finds endlessly fascinating and me not so much, but occasionally he'll ask what things mean or how things work and when I explain he actually GETS IT. That's fun.
He can also be a big help with Sam. At dinner last Sunday Sam didn't want to eat any more of his hot dog. Heath and I both tried to no avail. So Ben grabbed the fork, pretended it was a train and got Sam to eat!
And now that we've entered a tantrum-y phase with Sam, Ben seems to have sensed that I can't handle two kids who are acting up. So he's been more obedient and helpful lately, which is AWESOME. Especially because he's getting big enough to do actual helpful things. He can get a snack for himself and Sam, he can pour milk, he can wash his own hands, dress himself, brush his own teeth. It's really neat to watch him become more independent, and to see his pride when he accomplishes something all by himself. He's been practicing tying his shoes and though he's not quite there yet, he's been getting better and it makes me proud to see him keeping at it, even when it's frustrating.
School age is the time I've been looking forward to since Ben was born. They're independent and can handle most self care on their own, but they're not so old that they don't want to hang out with you. I'm sure there will still be hurdles and plenty of frustrations, but I'm hoping it's going to be more fun and enjoyable than the baby/toddler stage.
Saturday, January 11, 2014
Dinner... the final frontier...
I would never claim that Ben is a hugely picky eater, because I know some of those kids, but he's pretty bad. However, I make what I want for dinner and he has to deal with it. So Thursday night I made chicken tikka masala, never believing in my wildest dreams that Ben would eat it. I even kept some plain chicken out of the sauce for him. We always make him at least try what we're eating, but I never thought we'd get past that first bite. The first clue that something weird was happening was that he tried the chicken in the sauce without complaining. And he didn't make faces or say, "Blech!" He ate the bite and then I - to me, jokingly - asked if he wanted more. He said yes... AND THEN HE ATE IT. Without complaining. He said he liked it. He even ate some of his rice, which he NEVER eats. We didn't even USE the plain chicken, because as soon as Sam saw Ben eating the chicken in the sauce, HE ate it, too! Both of my children ate Indian food. It is truly a day for the record books.
From the above paragraph you can probably imagine what our dinners are normally like. Unless I serve spaghetti or pizza it's basically Heath and me trying to hold a decent conversation in between exclamations of horror at what's being served, whining, gross out noises and Heath saying, "You need to eat 5 more bites." It's so exhausting. Dinner is usually quite unpleasant for me. So to have a dinner go that smoothly is such a breath of fresh air. I want to remember it and hope. Maybe I can get him to eat stir fry!
From the above paragraph you can probably imagine what our dinners are normally like. Unless I serve spaghetti or pizza it's basically Heath and me trying to hold a decent conversation in between exclamations of horror at what's being served, whining, gross out noises and Heath saying, "You need to eat 5 more bites." It's so exhausting. Dinner is usually quite unpleasant for me. So to have a dinner go that smoothly is such a breath of fresh air. I want to remember it and hope. Maybe I can get him to eat stir fry!
Friday, January 10, 2014
Words!
Since Sam turned two, almost two months ago, his speaking has exploded. What's interesting to me is that even though he started speaking much later than Ben (who started at 14 months), he's picked up words and sentences at a much faster rate. With Ben it was a new word every week or every few days. With Sam we started out at "blue ball" and now we're getting phrases and short sentences out of him. Keeping track of how many words he's saying isn't even an option, as with Ben, because everyday he's saying so many new things. It's not like we're having intellectually stimulating conversations yet, but after waiting two years for him to speak, having him tell me he wants, "More milk" is awesome.
However, we are venturing into the terrible twos with him. It's one of those things that honestly made me pause for a second while considering having a second child. Do I really want to do that AGAIN? Well, it's here and we're doing it. Monday afternoon Sam woke up from his nap in a HORRIBLE mood. Everything made him mad. We were out of milk, so he had to drink water. Tantrum. I put that water in a straw cup instead of a sippy cup. Tantrum. I showed him the sippy cup I was going to use, and he agreed, but then I poured the water from the straw cup into the sippy cup. Tantrum. Unfortunately, we really needed to go to the grocery store, because we weren't just out of milk. I was hoping the car ride would calm Sam down. It did, but when I suggested he ride in the car cart, instead of pushing one of the small carts they have for children (curse you, Schnucks!), he flipped the fuck out. Total melt down. I could not calm him down, so we had to leave. We did not get his precious milk or anything else. Then when we got home he went right to the fridge asking for milk. Tantrum.
It was frustrating, to say the least. For some reason this week a switch was flipped in his brain and suddenly he wants to do everything himself, which is good and a very toddler thing. But of course it leads to even more frustration on both our parts when he just CAN'T do something, either because of lack of skill, or danger. It's just one of those things we have to get through and he'll emerge from it a more competent human, but I'll probably have a couple more grey hairs.
However, we are venturing into the terrible twos with him. It's one of those things that honestly made me pause for a second while considering having a second child. Do I really want to do that AGAIN? Well, it's here and we're doing it. Monday afternoon Sam woke up from his nap in a HORRIBLE mood. Everything made him mad. We were out of milk, so he had to drink water. Tantrum. I put that water in a straw cup instead of a sippy cup. Tantrum. I showed him the sippy cup I was going to use, and he agreed, but then I poured the water from the straw cup into the sippy cup. Tantrum. Unfortunately, we really needed to go to the grocery store, because we weren't just out of milk. I was hoping the car ride would calm Sam down. It did, but when I suggested he ride in the car cart, instead of pushing one of the small carts they have for children (curse you, Schnucks!), he flipped the fuck out. Total melt down. I could not calm him down, so we had to leave. We did not get his precious milk or anything else. Then when we got home he went right to the fridge asking for milk. Tantrum.
It was frustrating, to say the least. For some reason this week a switch was flipped in his brain and suddenly he wants to do everything himself, which is good and a very toddler thing. But of course it leads to even more frustration on both our parts when he just CAN'T do something, either because of lack of skill, or danger. It's just one of those things we have to get through and he'll emerge from it a more competent human, but I'll probably have a couple more grey hairs.
Wednesday, January 8, 2014
We had a lovely Christmas
Sam loves Ben's backpack, so I-er-Santa thought he should have his own.
From Arianne. She knows me so well.
Also from Arianne. A book is always a good guess with her.
From Uncle Nick and Aunt Melissa.
Heath, with one of several presents he bought himself.
Ben with the new Mario game. We didn't get a picture of him opening the new video game system to go with it. Heath took a video and it's the most anti-climactic Big Present video ever. He figured it out before he even opened it!
Avery's not looking, but Sam is so cute!
Tuesday, December 17, 2013
Merry Christmas!
Well, the holiday season is in full swing and here at the Borders house we've been really getting into the spirit. The boys and I decorated boxes and then baked cookies to give to our neighbors and family. We made gingerbread houses. We bought a Countdown to Christmas Tree, which is magnetic and each day you put a new ornament on until you get to the top and put the star on the tree on Christmas. The boys really love that. And of course we decorated our tree. Here's what Sam said after every time he put up an ornament:
It was pretty awesome. And we've continued the tradition of taking a series of horrible photos in front of the tree, though Heath and I bowed out of the actual picture this year:
There were more. That's the great thing about digital cameras, now we can take TONS of horrible photos, instead of just one. Literally this is the best one we got, where they were both non-blurry and at least sort of looking toward the camera:
I'm almost done with my shopping and wrapping. Just a couple more things to pick up. Some years I feel like the stress and craziness of December distracts me from enjoying it, but this year I've been able to slow down and appreciate everything.
It was pretty awesome. And we've continued the tradition of taking a series of horrible photos in front of the tree, though Heath and I bowed out of the actual picture this year:
There were more. That's the great thing about digital cameras, now we can take TONS of horrible photos, instead of just one. Literally this is the best one we got, where they were both non-blurry and at least sort of looking toward the camera:
I'm almost done with my shopping and wrapping. Just a couple more things to pick up. Some years I feel like the stress and craziness of December distracts me from enjoying it, but this year I've been able to slow down and appreciate everything.
Thursday, November 14, 2013
Boy 2 Turns 2
Dear Sam,
You've become such a big boy. A year ago you couldn't even walk, and now you're running, jumping and climbing on everything. It happened so slowly over the year, but when I think back it's amazing how much you've changed. You're even starting to talk! You've mastered saying "more milk," and it's AWESOME. Not only do you get what you want, but I know what you want, without a lot of pantomiming and questions. I'm so excited to hear all the other things you'll say.
It's been fun getting to know you better over the last year. You like to copy whatever Ben does, but you're definitely your own person. You're fairly quiet a lot, but when you have something to say it comes BURSTING out of you. There have been many peaceful car rides suddenly interrupted by a blast of noise from you. You also like to observe a situation before you go diving in, but once you decide to join, you're in there. You'll mix it up, even with older kids. But if you're not interested, you're perfectly content to play by yourself, as well.
One of the most striking pieces of your personality is your empathy and gentleness. Toddlers aren't known for possessing those qualities, but in you they shine through. It obviously disturbs you when another child is crying. You want to go over and help comfort. You're also (for the most part) very gentle with the cats. They like you better than Ben because you pet them nicely and rarely pull their tails or yank them off the couch by their fur. I think it's because you just love animals. Ever since you were very young you've been fascinated by them. You point out birds and squirrels constantly. You want to visit every dog who comes to the park. You love the zoo. If you become a veterinarian or a zoologist or an animal trainer I will not be surprised at all.
Like all children (especially toddlers), you have those moments that drive parents crazy. You pulled every tissue out of a brand new box. For some reason you've decided you don't want to wear a coat EVER. A few weeks ago, when Daddy was gone on business, you woke up at 5:30am every morning. And you throw toys around like it's going out of style. Which it is. Stop it. But for the most part, you're a very lovable guy. You're smiley and affectionate and you like to dance and your gorgeous blue eyes don't hurt, either.
You've had many adventures this year. You took your first plane ride to Phoenix to visit Oma and Opa. You went to the beach for the first time. You rode rides at Six Flags. You visited all our relatives up in Iowa. And just a couple weeks ago you got a brand new baby cousin. You love Taylor! You pat him and give him kisses and you love to hold him. You're not the baby anymore, and I think you'll be a great big cousin.
I'm so happy you're in our family. You're my favorite Sam.
I love you,
Mommy
You've become such a big boy. A year ago you couldn't even walk, and now you're running, jumping and climbing on everything. It happened so slowly over the year, but when I think back it's amazing how much you've changed. You're even starting to talk! You've mastered saying "more milk," and it's AWESOME. Not only do you get what you want, but I know what you want, without a lot of pantomiming and questions. I'm so excited to hear all the other things you'll say.
It's been fun getting to know you better over the last year. You like to copy whatever Ben does, but you're definitely your own person. You're fairly quiet a lot, but when you have something to say it comes BURSTING out of you. There have been many peaceful car rides suddenly interrupted by a blast of noise from you. You also like to observe a situation before you go diving in, but once you decide to join, you're in there. You'll mix it up, even with older kids. But if you're not interested, you're perfectly content to play by yourself, as well.
One of the most striking pieces of your personality is your empathy and gentleness. Toddlers aren't known for possessing those qualities, but in you they shine through. It obviously disturbs you when another child is crying. You want to go over and help comfort. You're also (for the most part) very gentle with the cats. They like you better than Ben because you pet them nicely and rarely pull their tails or yank them off the couch by their fur. I think it's because you just love animals. Ever since you were very young you've been fascinated by them. You point out birds and squirrels constantly. You want to visit every dog who comes to the park. You love the zoo. If you become a veterinarian or a zoologist or an animal trainer I will not be surprised at all.
Like all children (especially toddlers), you have those moments that drive parents crazy. You pulled every tissue out of a brand new box. For some reason you've decided you don't want to wear a coat EVER. A few weeks ago, when Daddy was gone on business, you woke up at 5:30am every morning. And you throw toys around like it's going out of style. Which it is. Stop it. But for the most part, you're a very lovable guy. You're smiley and affectionate and you like to dance and your gorgeous blue eyes don't hurt, either.
You've had many adventures this year. You took your first plane ride to Phoenix to visit Oma and Opa. You went to the beach for the first time. You rode rides at Six Flags. You visited all our relatives up in Iowa. And just a couple weeks ago you got a brand new baby cousin. You love Taylor! You pat him and give him kisses and you love to hold him. You're not the baby anymore, and I think you'll be a great big cousin.
I'm so happy you're in our family. You're my favorite Sam.
I love you,
Mommy
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