I'm ready to have my body back to myself. I want to eat sushi and drink alcohol and stop bumping my belly into Ben's head (which is at just the right height). I'm sick of waking up a dozen times a night to turn over, because it takes concerted effort and a crane to move my body from one side to the other. I don't want my body to hold me back anymore and it will be wonderful not to be uncomfortable 24 hours a day, no matter what I'm doing.
I'm ready to be a fun mommy again. Heath's always been the favorite parent, that's well documented. And though lately it's been getting more even (maybe 60-40 now), this pregnancy hasn't been winning me any popularity points. My lap is almost completely gone, so it's gotten pretty uncomfortable for Ben and me to snuggle up and read books, which is so frustrating because that's one of our favorite things. I can't sit on the floor and play for very long and even a trip to the playground two blocks away has become a chore. The other day after getting Ben dressed in the morning I sat on his bed and said, "Oh, I'm tired." He looked up at me and said, "Are you not going to play with me?" Cue my heart breaking into one thousand pieces.
But most of all I'm ready to get this four person family started. The coming months won't be easy, I know that. Besides all the newborn annoyingness, we're going to have to adjust routines, figure out new roles and basically re-learn how to be a family. But I'm ready for that challenge. I'm ready to hold a new baby, who the ultrasound tech said has lots of hair (fingers crossed that it's red!). I'm done with the challenge of being pregnant with a three year old. I'm ready for the challenge of being the mother to two boys.